Not you, your body. ( Jastin & Zustin Versions)

03. I made myself a fuck toy

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That night, Justin sat on 'McCann's' bed, sighing softly every now and then as he leaned against the headboard and hugged his clothed legs. McCann didn't ask why he was crying, and it upset Justin, but he was used to it. Yes, he fired Jessica but that was the most he could do. And Justin didn't mind... Heck , he fucking did.. but he had learned to pretend like it didn't affect him.

McCann was in the shower, humming to some song and he sounded happy. He was happy with his life, why can't I? Justin thought. He has one thing or two better than me, and why can't I be satisfied with what I have? In the marriage life, McCann gives Justin pleasure as much as he receives. Only thing that he doesn't return is the love and affection Justin has for Jason. So why would Justin has to pretend to be happy when he should actually be happy?

McCann walked out of the bathroom, wiping off the droplets of water that ran down his naked body with a white clean towel. He saw Justin and slowly walked to the bed. " Why haven't you taken your clothes off already, babe?" McCann whispered in Justin's ear, slowly running his hand under Justin's shirt and playing with his nipples. Justin started shaking and he let out a moan. Justin didn't know why his body reacted to McCann like the way it did when he didn't feel like having sex tonight.

" I.. mmm.. I don't feel like.. fuck.. can we just cuddle tonight?" Justin asked in between the moans. He almost screamed when McCann's movements came to an abrupt halt.

McCann glared down at the 24 year old. And got out of bed. " Leave" he said.

" Please, just tonight-"

" WHEN I FUCKING ASK YOU TO LEAVE, YOU LEAVE! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM!" McCann screamed, startling Justin. And tears came rushing into his eyes.

" I'm hurt, can't you see this? You didn't even care to ask me what happened with Jessica" Justin finally let out. Tears rolled down his face.

" I fired her, what else do you want me to do?" McCann spat.

" I don't know, maybe try to ask me what happened? At least a soothing word to make up my mind? I'm in pain Jason, and all you care about is shoving your dick up my fucking ass! "

" You talk like we're in a goddamn relationship! We're married, yes, but I made it clear at the beginning that I didn't want anything between us than sex. And you agreed! Why the fuck would you act like this now? "

" Because I need something more than just sex! I'm not a fuck toy like Jessica says. I'm a guy who needs his man to love him and care for him. Yes, I agreed to your condition but only because I love you. I needed you and I didn't think it would be this hard to be someone's fuckboy when I don't even receive a good night after you fuck me until I can't walk for next few weeks. "

" I know what you're doing! You agreed to my condition so you can worm your way into my life and then start blackmailing me of not loving you. " Jason screamed, grabbing a handful of Justin's hair. " I'm not a fool Justin! "

" No, what really happened is that you used my love for you to get me in a relationship that mattered nothing to you. You thought I was a good fuck and you fucking bought me for nothing in return! I was too young and I was a fool so this punishment is too good for my stupidity. I didn't know that I was selling my body for free to some fucking billionaire who couldn't cum if it wasn't me that he was fucking! I was such an idiot! So fuck me, use me as a toy because I made myself a fuck toy. I'm worth nothing but a cheap fucking slut! I used my body to get with you so I deserve every fucking bit of the pain I'm feeling " Justin sobbed because it was too much for him. He suffered this pain for three years and he couldn't take it anymore. But he got himself into it so he had no choice. He didn't want anything other than just be held by someone and be told that it was going to be okay but he was sure that someone wouldn't be Jason McCann.

Jason felt a pang in his chest but he , like always, brushed it off. He just grabbed a pair of boxers and put them on. Justin sobbed on the bed and McCann walked out of the room.

He walked back in after the dinner which he enjoyed himself because Justin wasn't going to eat after that. When McCann walked back inside , Justin was curled up on the bed, asleep. His cheeks shining with drying tears and his face as red as tomatoes.

McCann sighed, picking him up and off the bed. Justin was light like an enfant but McCann wasn't sure if it was because Justin's actually small or he's really buff. Maybe both.

McCann placed Justin on Justin's bed. He sighed, deciding if he wants to kiss Justin's head or not, and decided not to. He was covering Justin with his blanket when Justin unconsciously grabbed McCann's hand, hugging it into his chest. McCann hated the feeling of guilt that ate him alive but after what happened few years ago, he couldn't bring himself to love someone. Justin didn't know that it wasn't McCann's fault that he couldn't bring himself to love someone and Jason wasn't planning on telling Justin. It hurt Jason to see Justin suffer because of him but McCann didn't have it in him to love someone again..

So he pulled his hand away from Justin's warm chest and hit the lights off, walking out of the room and closing the door behind himself.

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