Not you, your body. ( Jastin & Zustin Versions)

17. History repeats

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  " You're having twins"

Jason went into the bathroom and locked himself in once they got back home from hospital. Justin sat on the bed, staring at the bathroom door. He was not sure if he should be happy or concerned because he was happy to have twins, a girl and a boy according to the doctor but his husband didn't seem too happy about it.

  He was laying in bed when Jason came out of the bathroom. His face was red and Justin had never seen him cry until his face is red, not that he had cried more than two times in the time Justin had known him. The first time being the time when he confessed his fear of losing Justin and now being the second time.

   " Jason" Justin spoke, but he didn't know what to say so he sighed and looked down, rubbing his small bump.

  " I'm not going to say anything. I know that you're not going to get rid of the babies and I won't force you to anything. " Jason mumbled, not looking at Justin's face. " But when they die and take you with them, I won't have a choice but to grab a knife and Pierce my heart with it. I went through this one time and I barely survived, Justin. I don't and I won't go through the say hell again and I'd rather kill myself because I love you and I love you more than I loved her. And I loved her more than the universe. " Jason gulped, sitting on the bed.

  Justin's eyes filled with tears but he looked up at Jason when he said something that he was confused about. Justin knew that Jason had something that he didn't want to talk about and he knew that it was the reason that Jason was the monster he was before he changed. Jason had not mentioned about it once and Justin was eager to know what made a beautiful man like Jason McCann a monster from hell.

   " Justin, I'm going to tell you something. Something I've been avoiding to talk about for years because it hurts like hell to talk about. " Jason said in a serious tone.

  Justin looked up at Jason's ocean blue eyes. They were dark and dull and Justin felt the pain Jason felt. " It's up to you to choose if you still need to keep the babies or not. "

  Justin nodded hesitantly.

  " Before I married you,-"

Jason was in love with a girl called Ariana Grande, they were so in love that they got married at the age of 20.. Jason being only 19 , a few months younger than the girl.

  In few months, she got pregnant. They were so happy, expecting their first child and it turned out that she was having twins.

   A boy and a girl.

   Jason was more than happy, he decorated a room for the babies, deciding names and buying millions of toys. He was like an eager puppy as he kept a smile on his face 24/7. He was so beautiful that Ariana felt her heart flutter whenever Jason smiled with that million dollar smile of his. He wasn't the monster he now is, in fact, he was a fluffy little teddy bear.

  He had millions of expectations as he ran into the hospital when he heard that his wife was in the labor.

  But all he could see was the dead bodies of his wife, daughter and son.

  His whole world collapsed that moment and he cried, cried until there's no tears left to cry but it wasn't enough. When crying wasn't enough, he grabbed a knife and sliced through his arms. His older sister took him to the hospital when she saw him laying on the bathroom floor with blood pooling around him. And he was unconscious.

  Since he woke up, he didn't do anything, didn't talk to anyone, just stared at the wall and didn't even move.

  In few months, he was back in the life he used to live but he wasn't the smiley bunny anymore. He yelled at everyone and he became a monster who's heart is a cube of ice. He couldn't love, he feared love. Love left him hurting and he wasn't going to let love fool him again.

  And Justin came into his life, and Jason started to feel something that he was very familiar with, something he used to do. He felt love, when he realized that it was love, he wanted Justin out of his life. But Justin was too perfect. Jason wanted him. If he wasn't going to love Justin, he at least wanted his body because he was perfect in every aspect.

    " That's why I treated you the way I treated, because I feared love and I didn't want to love you. I deceived myself by saying myself that I only wanted your body but  I knew I loved you. I loved you more than Ariana and I couldn't love anyone or anything else as much as I loved you. I was scared to accept it. I didn't wanna lose you like I lost my wife and children but when I heard that you had cancer, I didn't want you to die without even feeling that your husband loves you. I changed for you baby. I just don't want the history to repeat itself. I'm scared it will happen again" Jason sobbed as Justin hugged him to his chest.

  " Now I want you to make a choice. I know it's hard. But if you really love me, you won't make me go through the same hell alone"

  Justin was speechless for a while before he opened his mouth to speak.

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