Arduous

22

Y'all writing a book is hard so I apologize for how shitty it is. I need to replan because the way it's going is not how I wanted so I apologize. But stick with it because It'll hopefully get better. Thanks for reading this far. Ok now enjoy this dramatic chapter.

Warning: mention/ actions of self harm.

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Harry Styles

I look down at her confused before I look at where she is looking. But then I see it, the shirt I am wearing has a blood spot on it towards the end of it. Fuck.

How do I tell her I tortured someone then I went out and killed someone right after?

I won't is how I will.

I look at her again and see her eyes filled with confusion and a little bit of worry.

"I cut my finger earlier and it must have gotten on there, I'll go change." I reassure her before planting a reassuring kiss on her lips. She eyes me skeptically before nodding. I get off the couch and make my way to my room, silently cursing myself for being careless.

I get to my room and walk into my bathroom, turning on the shower and taking off my clothes while it warms up. Once the water is boiling I get in and stand under the waterfall shower head. The water raining down my body causes my muscles to slowly relax.

"Mummy!" I yell while clutching my precious drawing of me and my mum in my hands. My curls bouncing on my head while I run through the small house to try and find my mother.

"Mum?" I call out confused as to why she wasn't answering. She always does. She usually pops her head out from the kitchen to greet me when I got done with school. But this time she was nowhere to be seen.  I walk up the creaky stairs and go to her room. I slowly open the room and see it empty. I huff before walking into the bathroom where I see my mum. Her body slumped on the toilet seat. Her head hanging by her shoulder, her lips open and a light shade of blue. Her arms on either side of her, one with a needle in it. Her eyes are closed and her chest isn't moving up and down.

I gasp and drop the picture I spent majority of the day on, not caring because my mummy is in trouble. I rush over to her and grab her head, trying to get her to talk to me. I feel my eyes well with tears and I say her name over and over again. I start screaming and Anna rushes up the stairs and runs into her bathroom. Her backpack drop from her shoulder when she sees me.

She runs over and shakes her trying to get any sign of life out of her. I back away into a corner and watch the scene. I watch as she calls the cops, I watch as she takes the needle out frantically, I watch as she turns on the shower and takes the shower head, spraying our mum with cold water that gets everywhere. I watch as the paramedics rush in and try reviving her before looking at a cop and shaking his head. I watch as one out of the two people I love get put into a body bag.

Anna walks over to me, tears strolling down her face but what is supposed to be a comforting smile is on her face. She holds me as I sit there, not moving for what felt like hours, staring at the spot my mother was just in. The smell of her fills the air only making the silent tears become more heavy. A policeman comes in and takes Anna to ask her some questions while I stand and grab the drawing. It is now damp from the water. My stick figure is perfectly fine, only a few colors are running while my mums is completely messed up. You can't even tell it was supposed to be her now. And in this moment I feel something snap in me. I feel more hatred for the world than ever.

I crumble the paper and I wipe my eyes and sniffle once more before stomping out of the room, feeling broken but masking it with anger and telling all the cops I am fine.