Jizzie | Hand on Heart

Chapter 12 | All my tears?

Vidcon was over, and I was officially ready to go into hibernation.

But, no rest for the wicked.

Or Meri apparently.

She woke me up at 5am this morning by harassing buddy and causing him to go on a bender around the house.

Then as soon as I thought I'd got her settled down, the squirrels of the world were calling and Meri decided to wake the whole neighbourhood up by barking none stop for twenty minutes.

And the cherry on top, nature put a hold to the squirrels call and Meri was whining and crying to go outside.

By then I was well awake, and far gone from being able to go back to sleep.

Joel was dead to the world, oblivious to what had happened.

After I'd fed Meri, and given buddy a scratch, I settled down at my computer.

I went to the familiar photos in an encrypted folder, and typed in the password.

It was overkill, but I couldn't risk anyone finding out about my past.

In the folder were pictures of my life before the accidents, and screenshots of articles about it all.

The first picture was unlike the most of the others.

It was a collage I'd made for Charlottes birthday, but I'd never been able to give it to her.

And in the collage, we had all been smiling.

No one had died, nothing out of the ordinary had happened.

And I definitely wasn't lying to everyone around me.

Only my family and Jessie new.

My mum had found love again, with my stepfather, who made it easy to pretend nothing had happened.

I told everyone he was my biological dad, to avoid loose ends for people to tug on and unravel my lies.

All the other pictures were raw.

And only the first and third pictures had Charlotte in them.

The collage, and a screen cap of an article written about her.

"Who's that?"

I snapped my laptop closed, and it made a worrying sound, but that was the least of my problems.

"What are you doing up?" I say, trying to divert the conversation.

"I heard Meri earlier, but it took me a while to get up." He fills in, "but who was that on your computer screen."

"That was my...." my eyes dart around the room, looking for an answer, he could not know about Charlotte, all it would take was a quick google search.

"That was one of my cousins." I bluff.

"Oh, cool" Joel replies, pouring a glass of orange juice.

I bite my lip, my finger gripping the computer.

"Are you okay Liz?"

"What?! Why would I be okay." I reply awkwardly.

Joel gives me a curious look, it makes me squirm.

"Lizzie what's wrong? Are you hiding something from me."

I grind my teeth, "no!"

Joel smiles, "just checking, you look like you've seen a ghost." He jokes.

I laugh to the best of my abilities.

Joel busies himself with making breakfast, while I sneak off.