Jizzie | Hand on Heart

Chapter 17 | Fight the tears?

My first day back at school since Joel ended it.

I knew this was going to be one of the hardest days of my life.

I hadn't spoken to any of my friends besides Jessie and I was petrified to think that they would be just as angry as Joel.

All worries of my past flew away as I walked into school.

Jessie met me by my locker, and I looked up for the first time that day to meet her eyes.

My gaze faltered as I saw Oli standing beside her.

He had been my first friend here, and knowing that he hated me would tear down any resolve I'd managed to build up.

After what seemed like ages of staring at him, he gave me a sad smile, before hugging me.

My knees went weak and the only thing holding me up was the strength of his embrace.

It took all my might not to cry, I wanted to try and stay strong today.

"Lizzie I'm so sorry." He whispered, "I hate that you didn't feel like you could tell us."

He pulled away and looked me in the eye.

"Oli I'm so sorry I did it. I thought I could ignore it, move on from that past. But I shouldn't have lied to you all."

"I completely understand. It was your decision whether you wanted to tell us or not, and I get why you wouldn't want to talk about it. It's your past, and if you want to shut it out that's your choice."

"I wish Joel could see it that way."

Go the f*ck away tears.

Oli eyes betray his sadness, "I'm sorry Liz. I wish I could make this all better for you."

I shake my head, "I shouldn't have lied to him. He should be mad at me, I was selfish."

Oli hugs me again.

"I haven't spoken to any of the others about this situation, so I'm sure they'll formulate their own opinions."

I brace myself, not looking forward to it.

"I'm with you."

I thank Oli, before he dashes off to his locker before the bell rings.

I don't have my next lesson with Jessie, but I did have it with Callum, Scott and Lauren.

Jessie and I say our goodbyes and she gives me a good luck squeeze, before I trudge to my lesson.

Taking my seat at my normal desk, I see that I'm one of the first here, but Scott is sitting to my left.

I look up at him, and he meets my eye awkwardly.

"Hi." I whisper.

"Hey."

At least he's talking to me.

"Look, Scott I'm so sorry, I-" at that moment the bell rings and students flock in so I don't get a chance to finish my sentence.

The teachers walks in, and takes her seat.

I'm waiting for her to take the attendance, when a note lands on my table.

It's going to be okay
- Scott, Callum and Lauren

I look up at all of them and tears start pricking in my eyes.

I smile at them, my whole body trembling with happiness.

After class ends, everyone makes a mad dash for the door.

I slowly pack up my stuff.

"Hey Lizzie."

Lauren, Scott and Callum are standing in front of me.

They don't say anything, but wrap me in a warm hug.

I feel safe, and happy, almost able to forget everything.

"Thank you guys so much."

"Listen." Lauren starts, "we don't know in full what really happened back in America, but we," she motions to the boys, "decided that no matter what it is, we're with you. Because it's all in the past."

They all beam at me and we hug for a final time, before the bell rings.

By lunch I've pretty much got an idea where everyone stands on this.

Oli, Jessie, Lauren, Scott and Oli all seem to have taken it relatively well.

I saw Yammy and Koil in between lessons, and they refused to meet my eye.

That almost broke me.

Tiff sent me a text saying that she wasn't in today but she's with me and wants to support me.

And Oli informed me that after speaking to them, Red and Ashley are pretty mad.

Reds always been very straight forward, and he feels betrayed that I lied to him.

Ashley and Yammy think that I didn't trust them enough.

Obviously Hayley is going to take Joel's side.

I hate this divide, and what I've caused, and I wished with all my heart I could redo everything.

I hate the sides.

Lunch comes and I'm immediately grateful to see Jessie motioning me over.

She's sitting with Callum, Scott, Oli and Lauren.

Ella joins us, informing the group that she doesn't want to take sides as she hasn't been part of the group for long.

Moments after, I see Sapphire, Alana and Aaliyah.

They take a seat at the end of the table.

Sapphire and Aaliyah smile at me warmly, they have no reason to be affected by all of this as they were there.

Alana, who has been cold towards me since the accident, actually musters up a small smile.

Despite everything that's gone wrong, her smile reassures me that I can fix this.

If only I could figure out what my dad was doing.

Marcus's warnings have made me even more sure that I need to formulate a plan as soon as possible.

I've already hurt my friends enough, I don't need some potentially deadly mafia men thrown into the mix.

Jessie and I are going to be following up on our very few leads after school today.

I'm lost in thought so I don't realise that the table has gone deadly quiet.

"What?" I joke, "are you all realising how bad my hair looks because I haven't dyed it recently?"

Jessie's eyes widen and I finally turn around.

Just in time to see Joel walking into the room.

My breathing stops, and I don't blink for a second.

His once loving eyes met mine and I felt a shiver run through me.

He looks at me for one moment longer, with an expression of anger and disgust.

My own saddened one watches as he walks right past us, and goes to sit with Yammy, Koil, Hayley and Red, Ashley joining them a few seconds later.

I watch everything crumble around me and I squeeze my eyes shut, begging myself to not cry.

Instead, I focus on our leads.

We're finally going to get answers. Tonight.

***

Joel's POV next!
Sorry for leaving the chapters on this again without actually showing them investigating, but I wanted to get this part done before the more serious parts, as I don't want to be jumping between them.

I'm so glad you all seem to be enjoying it so far!
Remember to vote, and comment as it really motivates me.
And I hope you're all safe at home in these tough times 💕

- Feather In The Wind 💫