Jizzie | Hand on Heart

Chapter 27 | Overcome?

*trigger warning* (ft. Overdose)

"His sister."

"His sister." I confirm, "you have met her."

"I know, I'm just trying to wrap my head around this situation." Jessie confirms, pacing across the room while I sit cross legged on the bed.

"This would make a great movie." I say, trying to lift some of the tension.

Jessie laughs, strained, her eyes narrowed.

"Say it."

"Say what, I don't need to say anything." Jessie babbles.

"Say. It."

"Do you think Joel knows about this."

Ah, the million dollar question.

"You can say his name you know, it's not the plague, I can handle hearing it."

Jessie doesn't look convinced, but I continue on anyway.

"And maybe he does, maybe he doesn't, and I'm leaning towards the latter. We don't even know what it means for that matter, so there's no point jumping to conclusions."

"Why do you think it's in there?"

"If I had any idea I'd share."

Jessie thinks for a moment, "Carlisle?"

I freeze, cursing myself for not thinking of that.

I scramble across the bed, grabbing the book and punching the number into my phone.

It rings while I anxiously gnaw on my lip waiting for answer.

As soon as it picks up I put it on speaker, "Mr. Dray, I need to ask you something."

"Who is this." He says slowly.

"Lizzie."

"Oh of course." He clears his throat, obviously slightly uneasy, "how May I be of assistance."

"I found something in the pages of the book, it had a lot of names, most of which I didn't recognise, except one."

"Thea." He interrupts me.

"How did you?"

"You're friends were at the house looking for you, I spoke with them before I left, I believe one of them is the brother of Thea."

My breathe catches in my throat, no it can't be.

Jessie sees me freeze, continuing on for me, "here? In America."

"Well yes? Is there a problem?"

"They just, aren't supposed to be here." I choke out, tears welling in my eyes at the simple thought that he's here.

"Back track, how do you know about Thea." Jessie cuts straight to the point, filling in the blanks that I no longer cared about.

I stand up woodenly, stumbling towards the door, flinging it open and coming to a stop on the railing.

I can faintly hear Jessie still talking to Carlisle, but I no longer care, kicking the door closed behind me and sinking to the floor."

I expect them to, I welcome them even, waiting for the tears to fall, but they never do.

I'm all cried out, I can't cry over him, and maybe that hurts even more.

I try and force them, desperate to feel something, anything, but I can't.

Then it happens.

Something.

But not a welcoming feeling.

Instead of gripping my emotions, I'm overcome with a sharp pain in my stomach.

I know what's happening, I know exactly what's happening.

I'm exhausted, and starving, and had been since we came here.

All the adrenaline towards finally getting answers subdued that pain, but now it had all come to a crashing halt.

Knowing that Joel was here, letting the adrenaline subside in favour of feeling emotions had made the pain only that more prominent, and I couldn't move, paralysed with fear and pain.

I tried to lean over to quell the sharp thorns in my stomach, but the very action sent a shooting pain up my back.

Now the tears fall.

My vision blurs and head pounds as I frantically wave my arm around, desperate for something to hold, to regain my grip on reality, but I come up short and feel my consciousness slipping.

I make one last feeble attempt to stand, but don't get past sitting up as my back seizes up and I scream with pain.

Maybe I should've eaten something.

Maybe I shouldn't have taken all those suppressants.

I thought it would make it better, that it would help, it should've helped.

Maybe I'm too broken for them to help.

My final thoughts burn in my brain as blackness overcomes me, and I drift off into what I only hope is eternal peace.

*~*

Only three times in my life have I been in an ambulance, once when I was six, and decided that I was the next Tony Hawk, making the rather rash decision to try and skateboard over a bike ramp that our neighbour had left out in there garden.

Due to my lack of balance and apparently at the time common sense mixed with absolutely no experience in skateboarding, I fell flat on my face and broke my nose and cracked my head open on the concrete.

The second time was with Charlotte.

I still remember what happened.

She was dying in my arms, as I begged her to stay with me.

Calling the ambulance was not a thought that came to mind, however someone walked by and saw the state, calling both the police and ambulance.

I fainted shortly after, and was taken to hospital with her.

Charlotte was proclaimed dead at 11:52PM, while I was still unconscious.

The doctor had said that she'd been pretty much gone from the moment she hit the ground, her head took a nasty hit and the gunshot wound was restricting the blood flow, to the point where nothing could really be done.

I don't remember anything of those trips in the ambulance, and I gathered I wouldn't remember this either.

My vision was blurry as the bright lights surrounded me, the sense of panic that came from being in such an unknown place came and went quickly as exhaustion and dull sense of pain took over again, whatever pain medication they'd shot me up with not doing much to help me.

I heard the sound of paramedics bustling around me in the confined space and Jessie's voice.

My eyes didn't open fully, still a bleary haze barring me from fulling waking up, and I give up trying to fight anymore, allowing my consciousness to slip away.

***

This chapter was a long time coming, I tried to keep it more as a subtle theme throughout the books as it didn't want to focus on it too much and make it too surface level! But here it is, it was harder than I imagined to write this, but I hope you 'liked' it anyway (that feels like the wrong word to describe this)

Anyway!
Much love 💞

- Feather In The Wind 💫