Baby knows I don't always
get here on time
have things on my mind
and they're all addictions
so close, always almost
and I know you're
sick of me and I piss you off
there's beauty in everything
besides me
I think you care still
since you get jealous
The city emerges
after a long drive
near-abandoned strip malls
bedizened with neon lights
open signs, worthless restaurants
you take me to
half invested conversations
taking turns in the callus
say happy birthday
at 11 at night
And it takes awhile
to realize you were
only trying to heal
yourself through hurting me
watching as I hurt myself
the heat and scorn
of inevitable change
but I never could achieve
growth; we argue
we make love
we do drugs
we hurt
we burn
the wood splinters
sea-tide sprays
quiet oblivion
words turned
to mere hiccups
miscalculated blots
to dirty the purity
of page
if you come home
I swear I can change
but you're so, so used
to watching history
repeat itself
