Vile Games (book two)

5 - you fell out of love, didn't you?

song for chapter:
out of love - alessia cara
| when did you fall out of love |
(highly recommend + put on repeat)

ethan's pov
at the party

I sat on the outdoor couch, letting my eyes scan across the backyard of this frat house that I was unfamiliar with.

it wasn't that impressive honestly, there's just a few lights hanging over the pool and a couple of kegs. i'm pretty sure grayson has thrown better parties than this.

a majority of the people at this party i've seen around campus, but I haven't cared enough to actually go out of my way to be friends with them.

the only people I choose to associate myself with is froy, and I guess grayson and raven. not that I really talk with them much.

I won't lie, there's a lot of girls walking around laughing together in their swim suit tops even though it's nearly fifty degrees and trust me, I see them. but, that guy I was in high school no longer exists. It's like i'm too lazy to carry conversations with them.

in all honesty, apart of that is because of jaylee. she was the best i'll ever have, nothing compares. I don't want to have to restart all the way over with someone else, hints why i'm too lazy to talk to girls. it simply just won't get better than jaylee.

but I can't let myself think about her that way, not anymore. yeah, she will always have a place in my heart, but I need to let go. after eight months of pure bitter pain and doing everything in my power to get over her, I'm finally taking a step.

seeing her in person a couple days ago at the festival after eight months, terrified me. I was nervous that the wall I had built around myself would have broken, but it didn't.

I know how sorry she is, I know. but, I changed. I don't know if it's for the better considering I'm not a disloyal fuckboy anymore, or if it's for the worse since I literally keep all of my thoughts and emotions to myself.

I know she will be at this party tonight, and I know I have to talk to her. It just won't go as she planned. no, I don't want to hurt her. that's the last thing I want to do, but she needs to hear it so we can both move on.

my thoughts were drawn back into reality from two girls walking past me, stumbling obviously because a small amount of beer fell out of her cup, pouring onto the floor next to my feet.

I quickly moved my feet out of the way so that the drink wouldn't spill onto my shoes, then I looked up to the girl who's drink it came from.

both her and her friend stopped walking as she gasped, her eyes widening as she looked down to the floor. quickly she looked back up to me, "i'm so sorry." she apologized, letting a small smile form over her lips.

I stood up from the chair, straightening out my shirt as I took a step back. "you missed." I laughed lightly as I looked down to my clean shoes. "it's all good, don't worry about it."

she looked back up to me, the corners of her mouth curved upwards showing her dimples. not saying anything else, both her and her friend started to walk away.

I could feel the uninterested half smile on my face fade away as I turned towards the open door that lead back inside to the house.