My mate - Accept or reject

*Chapter 16* - It you I want

3 days later

3 days 9 hours and 43 minutes, that’s exactly how long I have been in this damn hospital bed. They believe that since I was in a coma for a week, without any reasonable explanation so they are observing me to ensure that nothing is wrong with me that they haven’t discovered. Nothing wrong, I've lost Amy, and no one can tell me why, but for some reason, I no longer have contact with my wolf, the doctors examined me all over, but haven’t found an explanation for what've got Amy to disappear, they just tell me that what happened, like I didn’t know it. This will sound like I'm some kind of schizophrenic, but I miss the other voice in my head, Amy has as long as I can remember, always been there, she was a part of me, and now I apparently have to learn to live without her. Apparently, I’m no longer a werewolf, and I know that this will sound helpless, but it really feels like I don’t know who I am anymore, I feel like have to find myself again and I don’t even know where to begin, I no longer know who I am, and I don’t feel that there is any reason to find myself as if I'm worth less because I no longer have my wolf. The one time I had expressed my insecurity towards Lucas, he had been angry that I thought that it changed me so much, he assured me that even though Amy was no longer a part of me, then I was still me. But to be honest, it's easy enough for him to say it’s not him who suddenly is a stranger among her own kind, I'm still a part of the wolf society, but I don’t feel that I really belong there anymore. I get disconnected from my mind when I hear Lucas exclaim.

"Emi, don’t think about that anymore, I know you worry about how to move on without Amy, and I know that you think it's easy for me to say, but I know that you will get through this and I will be by your side all the way through."

He says, and I look surprised at him, first because I hadn’t even heard him come into the room, but also because of his words. With a little voice I said as I looked down on the blanket that lay over me.

"But I don’t expect you to, I can’t ask you to be with me, I’m no longer ME."

I see how Lucas angrily grits his teeth before he slowly and gently sits down on the bed next to me and grabs my hand as he slowly and gently caresses. 

"Emi, you're my mate, and that means you are mine forever, but it also means that I'm yours forever. My feelings for you don’t change just because you have lost your wolf, I will not lie, of course, Lurius is sad that he will never run with Amy again, but he agrees with me that we belong with you , it's you we want. So don’t try to push us away because of something that none of us have any control over. Of course it will change everything, but I promise you that we will get through this, together, I don’t allow you to push me out of your life, fate has put us together, and I am happy, even without your wolf, you will still be the sweetest, gentlest and most wonderful woman that exist, and I will never let go of you. You are what makes my life worth living you are the light of my life, don’t take the light from me because we are challenged, everyone go through tough times, and this is ours, but I know that we can get through it, and will come out stronger on the other side. You just have to believe in it, believe in me."

This causes me to break down and I throw myself into his arms, and tearful muttered.

"But I will no longer be suitable as Luna for your pack, I was not sure I was before, but now I’m certainly not Luna quality, what kind of Luna will I be when I don’t even have a wolf?"

I notice how Lucas stiffens at my little speech before he once again relax, and slowly pull back a little to look me in the eye.

"You are perfect as our packs future Luna, you are born with a compassionate ability that makes everyone feel comfortable with you, and your warmth and friendliness are some of the qualities that make you a perfect Luna. And what does it mean if you are a werewolf or not? Clarina is only human, and do you feel that she is worthless because of it? "

He asked, and I felt the anger rise inside me when he mentions that I look down on Clarina because she is human.

"Of course I don’t look down on Clarina, she's my best friend, and I know that she will become a fantastic Luna when the time comes ..."

I would continue, but Lucas put a finger over my lips and cut me off.

"That’s exactly what I mean, to be Luna doesn’t mean that you're a werewolf, it's how you are as a person that means something and make your pack proud to call you their Luna, and you princess, is a wonderful person, and will be perfect to stand by my side and lead our pack in the best possible way."

I smile at him through my ​​tears, and give him a gentle kiss.

"I'm sorry, sorry that I'm so insecure. But I just feel that I no longer are the same as the one the moon goddess put you up with, I am no longer the same person as the one she chose to be your mate, what if I can’t be the mate you need. "

"I understand your feelings beautiful, but none of that is true. I know it's a big change you have to get used to, so of course it affects you. But for some reason, it was supposed to happen, and the Moon Goddess knew this would happen, and she still chose you to be my mate, and I am very grateful of her, and I will always be by your side, let me be by your side, we'll figure this out, and you will find back to yourself."

I smile at him before I again is in his arms, and just enjoying our closeness. I can’t believe that I've got a mate who is so loving and understanding, I still feel that I aren’t a good match for him anymore, but his little speech makes me doubt my own judgment, what he said made ​​sense, the Moon Goddess did nothing unplanned, so maybe there was a purpose in this, maybe Lucas was right in that the Moon Goddess felt that I could handle the responsibility as Luna even without my wolf, I didn’t know. What I did knew was that when I was with Lucas, I couldn’t imagine a life without him, so I have to get over my insecurities, I wouldn’t let this ruin the good that I had found with Lucas. The silence was interrupted when the doctor came into the room.

"Well Emily, it doesn’t seems that there will be more surprises, so you can go home, but promise me that the next few days you’re a taking it easy so you can get used to the changes your body has gone through. And if there are any symptoms that we haven’t seen, then you come back to a check, and that no matter how small it seems, if something feels off, then came by and get it checked."

He said with a serious look at me, I smiled wryly and nodded.

"Of course, Doctor, I'm just glad that I’m allowed to come home."