Broken

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Song:: Who You Are By Jesey J

Chapter 18

*Jake's POV*

"Babe.." I say as I knock on the door. Lissa has been locked up in our room all week, no food, no water, just her and our room.

"Please... Go away..." She says, I can hear her crying.

It breaks me inside to know she's like this. I just wish she would let me in to help her.

*Lissa's POV*

After I lost the baby, I was broken. I cry all the time, my life feels incomplete. I can't handle this, this is too much for me. I stand with my phone in my hand. As I'm about to call Andy, I hear Jake outside the door.

"Babe.." He says, lightly knocking. He doesn't understand the pain I feel inside.

"Please... Go away..." I say, my throat feeling rough.

I punch in Andy's number, and the phone starts to ring. I almost hang up, when her voice rings through the phone.

"Lissa, are you okay? You haven't been answering my calls." She says.

"I know... I um.... I'm sorry, about the calls." I say as I start to break down again.

"Lissa what happened? Are you okay?"

"No, I'm not. I... I lost it."

"Oh my god Lissa, I'm coming over right now." She says as she hangs up the phone.

I drop the phone, and then I slide down the door, hugging myself. I haven't slept, I've been up thinking about everything that could've happened if I was pregnant right now.

I can tell that I look like crap, I have been wearing the same sweats and jacket Jake gave me all week. My hair has been up in a messy bun, my eyes burn from all the crying, and I'm pretty sure that my body has lost about 10 pounds.

I hear a knocking sound coming from the front door. And I hear it click open.

"What are you doing Andy?" Jake asks her as she walks in and towards the door. When she's close enough. I stand up, open the door, And I just fall at her, my crying never stoping, my constant heartache pouring out more then ever.

"Shhh, it's okay babe." She says in a soothing motherly way.

"What am I going to do?" I ask as I sobbed against her chest.

I could feel Jake watching us, Just trying to deal with me. He might be helping me right now if he ever agreed to through the good and bad times, oh wait, we're not married.

I'm 21 and I feel like dying. I feel like I don't deserve this pain.

"Come on hun, lets get you cleaned up." She says as she drags me into the room, locking the door.

She start the shower water, making it nice and cold, She gets everything ready for me while I strip down to just my underwear and bra.

"Come on babe, get in, I'll wait for you when you get out so I an do your hair and make-up. Then we're going out and we are going to get a drink and talk." She says as she leave me to shower.

I step in, the cold water bringing goosebumps to my skin. I can hear the door open, and her set something down, and plug something in.

Then she turn on the song "Who You Are" by Jesey J. I start to sing along, tears silently leaving my eyes.

I stare at my reflection in the mirror:

"Why am I doing this to myself?"

Losing my mind on a tiny error,

I nearly left the real me on the shelf.

No, no, no, no, no...

Don't lose who you are in the blur of the stars!

Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,

It's okay not to be okay.

Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart.

Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,

Just be true to who you are!

(who you are [11x])

Brushing my hair-do I look perfect?

I forgot what to do to fit the mould, yeah!

The more I try the less it's working, yeah

'Cause everything inside me screams

No, no, no, no, no...

Don't lose who you are in the blur of the stars!

Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,

It's okay not to be okay.

Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart.

But tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,

There's nothing wrong with who you are!

Yes, no, egos, fake shows, like whoa!

Just go and leave me alone!

Real talk, real life, good love, goodnight,

With a smile that's my home!

That's my home, no...

No, no, no, no, no...

Don't lose who you are in the blur of the stars!

Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,

It's okay not to be okay...

Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart.

Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,

Just be true to who you are!

Yeah yeah yeah

Just as the song finishes, I get out, wrapping a towel around my anorexic, cold body.

I look in the mirror and I almost cringe at myself. My cheeks look caved in, my eyes have huge bags under them. And Jesey J is still playing.

I almost start to cry, but then I compose myself, straightening up. Don't be weak, you will never be a weak person.

I get dressed in black leggings and a white crop top the says selfie on it. I put on some sunglasses and throw my hair up into a tight bun.

It's not going to be easy, but you'll make it. I know it.

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812. 812 reads. guys. First off, I love you so much, you don't understand how much this means to me right now. second off, can someone get me my gun? I'm not even done with this story and it has so many reads. I honestly love you all to the ends of the earth. Your the best readers there are. seriously, stay amazing. Stay strong. Stay beautiful.

I love every single one of you! ❤️❤️

-grimm_twins

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