Hearts and crafts {under major editing}

Chapter 17: This could be the end of you and me

I know people have worse situations than I do right know. Most people would probaly want to be in my situation right now. People could be starving, homeless,abused,hunted. I could go on and on about all the more importent problems on the earth but the thing is....I'm a human. I exist and sometimes its okay to walk away from your problems. If you always face your problems head first, what happens to your head. So I spared my head and decided to walk away. I took the trail along the forrest and stopped thinking about my problems. I just cleared my mind and honestly it was nice. It was nice to just relax and be...me. Just O'l Jamie Parks.

I put in my ear-buds and blasted "Sexy Me" and hummed along. Today was a less busy day and I woke up early so I had some time. I started jogging to get stuff off my mind I focused on my breathing and legs and just kept re-directing myself but since I'm un-athletic, my jogging session didn't last too long. I made my way back to my cabin to take a cold refreshing shower. I took off my sweaty cloths and jumped into the shower taking my time. I didn't bother with make up or nice cloths, I just put on my amercain eagle sweat-pants and campus-crew sweatshirt. I crawled back into bed and grabbed my novel, which I haven't touched since I packed it. It was a rom-com about a bad-boy who turns good to catch the wallflowers heart.It was sweet but sadly un-realistic. Later on I walked the short walk to the snack shack to get a tub of cookie dough ice cream. I just wanted to have a nice mope-fest. I scooped the ice cream in my mouth and drank my calyspo triple-melon lemonmade while reading the cheesy novel all wrapped up like a burrito in red flannel blanket. I hugged my pillow and stretched, I just moped around and had a nice, lazy day. Around noon I dragged myself out of bed to go to help set up for lunch.

As I carried the plastic dishes and old cutlery out to all the picnic tables inside the mess hall I thought about the best way to go about the situation. I could apologize and end it that way but I've fought for so long I just can't do that. I could play a rad prank on him or get revenge but I dont want to stoop down to that level either. I mean he did apologize but sometimes a sorry is not enough. If we really wanted to be friends he would be trying harder, not just grabbing my wrist and pleading. He would be writing me little notes, baking me goods, or just be thinking of something more creative than 'sorry'. I'm just done. I can't keep saying I'm okay, keeping my head up. I'm overthinking everything. I just need time. Time that's all. One simple thing that I sadly can't get here. I need to go home. Be with other people and have me time. Me. All about me. Moi. Me, Myself, And I. Its not selfish. Its just making sure I'm able to help others.I'm trying to hard to make everything okay when it will never really, truly be. But thats okay. That's the thing. I'm okay with okay. I make my way back into the kitchen to get the subs and the bottles of water and got to making sure every one got one. Once I was done I grabbed a sub and a bottle of water. I made my way back to my cabin, locked the door and shut all the blinds before eating the delicous sub. I sipped the water and read my novel before something caught my eye. It was my almost emty suit-case. I placed the novel down carefully before I ran my hand over the scratchy black material. I unzipped it and lifted the lid cautiously. I saw the picture of my Mom,Dad, and I. I was about seven in the picture. I had a tooth missing and was wearing a orange and yellow sundress. My dad was in a blue polo and biege pants. As for my mom her hair was tied back in a pony-tail and she was wearing a off-white dress. I never realized how home-sick I was as I put all my cloths into my suit-case. I picked up a purple tee that said ''Whaaaa''. It reminded me of Justin. I shook my head, getting rid of those thoughts as I packed up my camp tee. I realize it's only a three days before camp ends but I just have to go now. I picked up my lucky black and red pen before writing a note. It read:

Hey. You probaly realize I left. Camp this summer has just been too hectic and I dont know if I could handle Justin, and all my responsibilities and I'm sorry if I just made these last days harder, you know with one less person but.... I need to do this. I'm perfectly safe and will text you (Grace) before and after my flight. Say bye to Mr.Holte for me and...yeah. Thats it.

-Loads of love- Jamie.P

Once I was finished everything I stuck the note on my cabin door and headed off to get a taxi. Then I realized I didn't have enough cash for the taxi so I snuck into Grace's cabin and stole thirty bucks. I checked to make sure I had my emergency debit-card to pay for a flight since I didn't have a car and since it's a six hour drive I did not want to imagine the walk. Plus I didn't know the way. I walked pass the basketball court and saw a lone basketball in the middle of the court. I dropped my suit-case and gently picked it up.

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Waddaya think of this chapter??? Yay or nah??? The next few chapters might be short but it has an amazing ending👌. Hope you liked it!!!

Fran and Ella