Written by SONJERRR
●Highly recommended●
COVER
Your cover is slightly confusing. The water blends a little to much with the title. Also, your author name is hidden away. I suggest making your title and author name much more bolder. So its viable. However, I like how if you look closely, you can see little glimpses of snowflakes which is cute.
SUMMARY
Aye this description is really well written. The way you've described the angel is excellent. It gave me the sense that he sounds like an interesting character. I love how he's a mixture of good and bad because your always hearing of Angel's only being good so its quite interesting to see a change. No spelling errors from what I've read. It's a really good description, it catches your eye and pulls you in.
CHAPTER ONE
First paragraph is well written, you've used some good descriptive words. Good choice on adding the point in between the paragraph to show it's a different scene. Hasumas mother sounds like a cool character. I like how she says "I chose to feed your growling stomache" It gave me a sense that Hasuma and her mother don't have such a great bond so I'm wondering how that will develop further on in the story. Ah I like how you gave us a tiny bit of a backstory with the mother. A description of what Hasuma looks like would be great. It would be nice to know what the characters look like that I'm reading.
I'm not a big fan on the character swaps constantly. It would be sleight if you did it now and then but constantly is annoying.
OVERALL
There's nothing wrong. It's well written, good spacing etc. You've done really well on this story so you should be proud of yourself. I honestly enjoyed reading this. The last part definately shook me, the way you described the body is fantastic.
Author notes, you didnt have any apart from the last chapter, bit disappointing because you have a great personality from what I can tell.
I feel like you should add author notes in your chapters. Your chapters are way to long, you might want to consider shortening them a slight bit to avoid, making your readers bored. Theres not much else I can say because it's really good. It seems you've edited thoroughly as there was no spelling errors so well done
POSITIVES
●Writing
●Plot
●Description
●Characters
NEGATIVES
●Cover
●Chaoter length
●Author notes
9.5/10
♡Keep Believing And Keep Going♡
Sarah
YOU ARE READING
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