Written by: ShirozouElric
ORIGINAL COVER
The colour of the writing blends to much with your background. Your authors name is to close to the edge making it seem as though you've chopped a lot off. The background is quite interesting especially with the range of the colour green
NEW COVER
Same again....the colour of your title blends with your background. Also, the skull is wonky. You should make your author name slightly smaller. So it doesn't look to clunky. Love the red at the top, that's a nice touch.
SUMMARY
Okay, I wouldn't put your cover artwork at the top as its annoying and pulls you away. You should put it at the bottom. You use a lot of commas, you may want to tone it down. Your description is long and quite boring. You may want to tone it down and put interesting stuff in it. Something that you know for a fact will attract the reader. Maybe a question that you think we would want the answer to? But to find the answer we would have to read.
OVERALL
I actually enjoyed reading this, you're good at describing things which is good. There's not much I can say other than it's great. The only things I can say you need to improve on is your engagement with your readers. Longer author notes are okay to do, so do some. Right your chapters are long which WILL bore your readers. I think the only time you should do a long chapter is when something really interesting is happening. Keep it simple and consistent, dont give us a short chapter and then a long one that looks more like a college essay. A good update schedule is vital, not having one will make less people want to read your story because they're going to think that you barely update. I really like how you give us a glimpse into every character and not just one. I look forward to reading more.
POSITIVES
•Summary
•Plot
NEGATIVES
•Author notes
•Cover
•Schedule
•Chapter lengths
•Engagement with readers
*
Sorry it's short, not much I can pinpoint on as there aren't any spelling or grammatical errors*
7.5/10
♡Believe you can do it♡
Reviewed by: Sarah
ESTÁ A LER
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