Winter's Dead Bride

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Saturday 31 March, late-afternoon, Land of Never-Ending Autumn.

Everyone was mourning on the streets, honouring Teí for his deed. He was being buried under the willow tree in my garden as the continuous rain kept falling. 

Five whole days, it had rained and slow melodies were played on the violins as the whole world seemed to mourn alongside us. I was surrounded by everyone from the Seasons, silently praying for him as his protected body was lowered into the soil. As I watched him disappearing right in front of me all over again, I began hysterically crying, unable to stop as my eyes became bright red. I was being comforted by everyone as they tried to assure me that everything would be alright and that I was lucky to get to see him every day. But they didn't know how much guilt would arise inside me when I looked at his tombstone every morning and was cruelly reminded that all of this was my fault in the first place. I'd start going crazy and would keep falling on my knees in a deep apology as I regretted everything. Even so, I had insisted on having him buried there because then I could feel his presence... Even if he haunted me, it'd be fine. 

I wasn't ever going out of the gates... I kept murmuring the words engraved into the headstone, wishing that it was me in his place instead... He didn't deserve this. He did no wrong... I reached out and touched each individual letter, smooth under my touch. I smiled a little as more tears welled up in my eyes, wanting so badly to be in his arms again. Instead, it felt like a hindering barrier was placed right in between us, making me feel deeply frustrated. I trembled, opening my mouth to try to speak. 

"Teí...would, wo-would you still get annoyed if I called you Seventh Minister or Prince Teí? Will, will you ever look at me with your dreamy eyes again and tell me that, that you loved me?" I questioned, trying to block out the people's wailing behind my gates.

I swallowed back more memories as I let go of it, feeling guilty with the ring still on my finger... After all, his name wouldn't be written on a stone if it wasn't for me... Why did Fate have to work it out so well? First, it let me become a murderous beast that terrorized everyone's dreams then it introduced me to the one who wanted to get rid of me. After that, it allowed us to fall in love, slowly but surely in love. Furthermore, it caused me to go on a wild goose chase that was just a suicide mission. But afterwards, it decided to just sit back and twist a few knobs so that we could be separated all over again. Merciless. It did not care that he was my only last bit of hope after I had lost everyone nor did it care that he allowed himself to be vulnerable to me... But who's to blame except me for putting myself out into the world anyway? If only I did nothing...

"Teí...how could you have loved me when I despise myself?"

— 

Thursday 5 April, early-evening, Land of Never-Ending Autumn.

The birds would still chirp with unknown happiness.
The skies would be clear as coloured evening clouds pass by.
The Winter and its Citizens would all be cured...
Everything seems to be alright — except for my shredded heart.
I feel like a dying candle, doing no good to anybody as I will desert them in complete darkness.
I feel as if I have no real air left to breathe as I'm suffocated inside my own body.
It's quite shocking when you realise how important the things you let go of were...
But... Time, this wicked time, just forbids you from keeping it.

***

"T-thank you," I told the postman, accepting the large wooden box that the Emperor had insisted that I obtained.

It had all of Teí's most important things inside and although I tried to deny it because of the torturing memories that they would carve into me, he still insisted that I took them as he only found it right to give them to me. I took it into my workroom, passing Ferrell as he disinterestedly chewed on the tasteless grass. The box was very heavy but I knew that it was far too precious for me to give up on and start dragging instead. I leaned against the door handle, using my elbow as best as I could to open the door.

I lifted up the box's hood and nearly started crying as I found what was inside. Everything within was simply a reminder of him as I parked at the table, taking each thing out carefully, one by one. I looked at each recipe for the antidote with a heavy heart, remembering how hard we had been working on it. 

Together. 

I reached his more recent ones that he probably tried when I was still taking the doses of the antidote. I felt myself hunch over in tears as I saw each scribbled out word, each failed attempt, each second try before he gave up again. He had worked so hard on each one but his theories made sense as he knew that they wouldn't work. I read through each one, thinking of his pen that must have been writing in frustration. I bit down on my lip to stop myself from making a sound but the tears still fell and I desperately tried to wipe them, wanting to imagine all the good times again and smile. It felt like each word crushed me as I read the comments at the end of every recipe. He had clearly been trying his best...but even though it was next to impossible, he still didn't give up on me... I smiled through my tears, letting my hands look around the box for something else.

"Thank you so much," I breathed, knowing that my heart wouldn't be able to handle it anymore as I felt it shatter inside me.

I was blinded by bubbly tears as I sobbed, randomly taking out a big, deep-blue book from the box. I curiously blinked at it, wiping away the tears, a little surprised to see the majestic item. I had never seen it in his workroom before... I cautiously turned over the cover, expecting it to be a normal storybook but nearly dropped it as my eyes scanned the first page. I forced myself to snap from the shock, catching my breath again. It was difficult to describe what I felt...perhaps confusion, curiosity, and shock all rolled into one. On the page, written in beautiful cursive handwriting, it read:

"Azalea... Winter's Dead Bride".

And if that wasn't enough to cause my death, underneath it read:

"Possessed by the Royal Highness, Queen Chrysós."

My fingers were trembling at this point, already eagerly turning to the next page as I prepared myself for what was to come... I befell upon a page filled with the cursive writing but on the top, it said: WARNING AND FOREWORD.

"You must be fully prepared for what you're about to read because what you are about to read is the real story of the revived bride of Winter. My name is Shíhomí Chrysós, a mother to six darling children, an adopted but lively child who I named Foxe and a mysterious young, charming boy who I had found alone in the burning woods and strangely enough he was surrounded by a wildfire. Don't even start questioning my senses but I couldn't leave him there so I single-handedly rescued him from the blazes even though he had no burn marks...— anyway, enough of my boasting. You must consider yourself blessed to have even found this book but if you're unwilling to uncover secrets that may scar you then please drop this book.

Shíhomí Chrysós."

I didn't even ponder twice as I flipped to the following page, entering a world that I had never known to exist...