Jade is restless as she approaches the stage with the three girls by her side. According to her plan, after this performance and Q&A, she is going to take a walk with Perrie, just the two of them. It cannot be long since they are flying to Denmark today, and luckily, there is no more than a single question she needs to ask. Jade keeps telling herself that it will be alright, that no matter what, she is going to have Perrie as a friend, but it is not helpful. She wants more than just a friendship.
Jade had stayed up for most of the night, struggling to fall asleep because of her worries. She could not decide if asking Perrie to become official is the right decision; so many things will make this potential relationship hard. She considered the disadvantages countless times by midnight, and eventually got to the advantages every time. It was all very confusing and Jade felt like she cannot contain everything that is happening in her head. So she did what she does whenever she is faced with a big decision - she made a list.
Around three AM, Jade left the bed she shared with Perrie at Perrie’s hotel room, and quietly went to her own room. She took out her notebook, which she always brings in her suitcase, found a pen on the nightstand, and began writing. The list is divided into two parts. One is everything about the group and this potential relationship which scares Jade. It details every risk Jade could think of, from the damage that will be caused if the fans found out to the future of Little Mix's friendship. Next to every risk, are written ways to avoid it; most of them which were suggested by Leigh-Anne yesterday.
The second part of the list is about Jade's personal fears about this relationship. It is very honest and raw, and she does not ever want anyone else to read it. It is about how she does not see a real future to it, how scared she is to end up broken, and how intimidating it would be to completely lose Perrie at the end. Unlike the first part of the list, Jade does not have a way to cancel out these worries. She left this part blank. All she can do is hold onto the fact that it might all be worth it if she is going to get to call Perrie her girlfriend. She keeps this list, folded into a tiny square, in her pocket for the rest of the day so she can look at it whenever she is having doubts again.
During the Q&A, Jade tries to focus on the questions and on the fans, though she is distracted every time she senses Perrie looking at her. She cannot help but get excited about these looks and their maybe hidden meaning, then tells herself that the girls look at each other all the time and that it is nothing special. She catches a few glimpses of Perrie as well, hoping to meet the blonde's gaze as she is unable to look anywhere else for too long.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
