Into the Oven

The Mask

Slip it on in the morning.

Feel the familiar safety cover you.

No one can tell that it's not really you.

"Good morning!"

"How are you?"

"Good. Great actually!"

Walk in the school hallways seeing everyone talking and being happy.

Remember that you're not and will never be one of them.

But it's okay.

You have the mask.

Laugh at your friends' jokes.

"Is something wrong?"

Tug the mask back up quickly.

"No, why?"

"I thought you looked sad for a second."

Sit at lunch and have a conversation.

Smile and no one will notice what's underneath.

A sharp comment from a friend rips through the mask.

Duck your head and go to the bathroom.

Check that no one is around before taking it off.

Use tape to seal the crack in the mask.

I'm sure it can hold until tonight.

The same friend making a joke about you causes the tape to fall off.

But it's okay.

Only the corner part is ripped.

Go home and talk to your parents.

Say your day was fine and you had fun.

When your parents say they wish you socialised more the mask starts to fracture.

Eating at dinner and making polite conversation.

"Why don't you do more around the house? You're always hiding in your room."

The mask is barely holding together.

It's night and you're alone in your room.

You can take it off.

Use glue, tape, staples, anything to stop the mask from falling apart.

The mask holds for several days until when you're alone with a friend and she asks, "Is something bothering you? I feel like you're hiding something from me. You don't have to put up a mask with me."

That phrase shatters the mask.

"I'm fine," you say.

"You're not," she says. "Are you so afraid that no one will love you or care about you if they see the real you?"

Pick up the pieces and hold them carefully.

"Who would want to see the real me? It's easier this way."

Start to tape the mask back together but she stops you.

"I would."

Throw the mask in the trash.

Let people see the real you.

~ Crumb

AN: I've really enjoyed writing this kind of stuff. If you have any requests or ideas leave a comment, please!