sweet wrongs

11

mikes pov
-

i woke up crying for what felt like the tenth time this week. i havent spoken to will in a month and he hasnt spoken to me. maybe its for the better.

i deeply care for will, i really do. the last thing i wanna see is him hurt. believe me, when i saw his tear stained eyes when he came over for dinner, my heart broke.

it isnt my fault that i couldnt talk to him. its my fathers. a couple nights before the dinner with the wheelers, both of my parents sat me down and had a talk with me about how me and will have been too touchy for being just friends.

my mom was stuck with the vision that being gay was okay. she even said that she was "down with the rainbow" whatever that means.. but my dad on the otherhand was the polar opposite.

he had a one hour talk with me about how faggots will burn in hell for all eternity and how im one of them.

but the thing was, i wasnt gay. i tried to explain to him how i had a girlfriend and how i wasnt a queer. he wouldnt listen.

but will made me feel something.
he made me feel weightless and he made me happy. i havent ever felt this way around anyone before, not even el. maybe i wasnt gay, but more of a willsexual.

we faught about this. we faught for so long to where he thought that violence was the only solution. whip after whip, marks were left onto my back, my chest, my bottom. you name it, its probably bruised.

he was the reason that i had been so distant from will. he's the reason why we cant be friends. we kissed, so what? what do a few little kisses mean? friends do that all of the time. dont they?

my dad never had been the violent one. he had never really been the one to open his mouth.

a lot of things suprise you, i guess.

-

"you need to apologize to will." nancy said, suddenly appearing in room.

"what do you mean?" i asked her, confused.

"you havent talked to him in a month, mike. plus i saw the way that you treated him at the dinner last month. he's your best friend." she said, sitting on the edge of my bed.

"something happened, nancy. i cant. he wont forgive me." i sighed, laying back onto my bed.

"then make him. make him forgive you. whatever you did couldnt have been that bad." she said.

"it was..." i said, looking down.

"damn it mike... what on earth could you have possibly done to make him avoid you for a straight month?" she asked.

"you want the long version or the short version?" i asked, getting comfortable on the bed.

"long."

"according to dad, will and i have been extra touchy touchy for his liking and he thinks that im gay." i started.

"well, are you?" she asked.

"gay? pft fuck no. im not a fag." i said "anyways to back that up, at steves party awhile back, we were dared to kiss and it got pretty steamy but thats it. it was a friend kiss, nothing else. then when he came to visit a week after, we kissed again."

"that sounds pretty gay to me" nancy replied

"shut up, nancy. anyways we kiss twice and he thinks that we're some kind of couple or something? its kinda weird but he was my best friend so i wasnt just gonna abandon him." i said

"anyways back to where dad is talking to me about being too touchy touchy with will... basically he gave me an hour long lecture on how gay people arent living by gods word and how gays will be doomed to hell." i paused

"he told me to stay away from will but it was kinda hard since he was staying over for dinner one night. so we just havent talked." i finished. i had basically just lied through my teeth to nancy. yeah, i did twll the truth in some parts but not in all.

"apologize to him. have you taken a second to wonder about how he feels?" she said, standing up and walking over to the door.

"and for the record," she said, halfway inside of my room, "being gay is okay."

i sighed to myself as she finally officially left the room. was being gay really okay? i didnt believe so. even if it was okay, im still dating eleven.

maybe that'll have to change.