sweet wrongs

13

mikes pov
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trigger warning: mentions of suicide
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my whole ride home from wills house was like a dream. TODAY has been a dream. i mean, breaking up with el was a little saddening, but it was for the best.

me and will can be officially unofficial now without and guilt. the boy i love is actually mine. will is mine. i thought to myself.

yesterday, i was having one of the worst days of my life and today, the love of my life confessed his love for me. it couldnt get any better than this.

"mike, i need your laundry!" my mother called up to my room. "in a minute!" i yelled back down at her.

before taking off my pants, i reached down into my pockets to make sure i hadnt left my key tot he house in pockets. i pulled my hand out with a piece of paper. oh right, it was the paper that i found on wills floor beside my backpack.

i opened up the crumbled up paper to see a diary entry.

june 29th, 1986

dear anyone,

im sorry, i dearly am. ive tried and ive tried to stay alive but i just cant. my best friend, also known as the boy i was in love with cant bear to speak with me. i dont even know why. i thought we were okay. we held hands. we kissed.

i was stupid to think that michael wheeler could ever love me back.

things arent going so good with my mental health either. ive tried to talk to my mom about it but i know that it would just stress her out.

if you're reading this, im sorry. things will be better after im gone.

sincerely, william byers.

what i just read couldnt process through my mind. i hurt him. i hurt him really bad. was he going to hurt himself? is he going to hurt himself. swirls of thoughts formed in my head, causing me to rush to the phone in the kitchen.

i quickly dialed wills number, putting the phone to my ear. after a few rings, i got worried but then the sound of the phone being picked up calmed me down.

"this is joyce byers, can i help you?" ms. byers said over the phone "ms byers, it's mike. is will there?" i asked anxiously.

i was scared out of my mind. what if something bad had actually happened to him. i would never forgive myself. "oh yeah, honey. he already went to bed but i can wake him up if you need me to?" she responded.

i took a deep breath and released after hearing the words escape her mouth. "no, it's fine. thank you for telling me. g'night." i replied thankfully before i hung up the phone.

i walked to my room and i laid down on my bed, staring up at the ceiling. if i hadn't have gone over to wills house today, he might have been dead. the thought of losing him scared me now more than ever.

but, everything is fine now. he'll be okay and so will i.

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july 31st, 1986

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it was officially the last day of summer. this past month had been pretty quiet, considering everything that happened last month. i always saw will at least every other day but we hadn't really hung out with the rest of the group that much.

it's just been the two of us. and i was okay with that.

"will?" i asked as i turned my head towards him.

"yeah?" he replied, curiously looking over at me from the other side of the couch. "are you scared?" i asked,  looking down.

"of what?" he wondered, half smiling.

"of what people are gonna think of us." i said, sighing. "you don't really see many gay people around here and it's not exactly a normal thing to be."

will laid his head down on my slouching lap and then looked up at me, "yeah, i'm scared." he whispered

"me too." i said, looking down at him. "we don't have to tell people."

"yeah.. but i wanna touch you" he said innocently, "i wanna be able to hold your hand and act like normal people together."

"me too, will" i sighed, "but we can't." i frowned

"maybe someday..." he said and frowned before i interlocked our fingers together, and bringing our hands up to my lips and kissing his.

"we're gonna get through this."