Actually there was one other time i felt this way.
Back when I was getting sober.
Back when drugs where the center of my life
Getting sober was the hardest thing to do.
I even tried to kill myself.
In many ways you are a drug.
I'm having the biggest fights with myself now as before.
I keep asking the same questions
"Ok yea, now I'm clean but what now? I still feel like shit. I still feel stuck. I still want to get fucked up because at least when I was fucked up I could forget for awhile."
I keep making the same promises to myself.
The same deals with myself.
You are a drug I need to ween off.
But I already knew that.
Now I'm going through withdrawal.
I'll get cold sweats again.
I'll get angry for no reason at all.
I'll fight with myself.
I'll try to use again.
Ill isolate myself again.
I'll try to kill myself again.
Youre going to be the hardest drug I've ever had to kick.
This time I will have to do it all by myself.
No NA
No therapy.
No friends.
Just my tears and my sins.
I dont know if I'll be ok after this.
But I'll try.
"But my feelings for you are forever."
YOU ARE READING
I'M Bullshit
RomanceI'M BULLSHIT! EVERYTHING IS AND WAS MY FAULT. IT WAS ALL ME. ALL ANGER SHOULD BE DIRECTED AT ME.
