I'M Bullshit

Need I Say More?

I put everything into this.
This won't change anything right?

There is something I do want to send you. Only for you.
It's very dark and defiantly not suited for this.
Maybe I'll post it or just forget about it.

If you'll ever want it, I won't know.
Just ask I guess.

You hate me.

You probably reread out last text and over analyze it the same way I do.
But then again I read them bec7ase in my head I play out scenarios in which I said things differently

Maybe you showed him.

Actually I'm sure you did.

You need to be reminded as to why you left right?

Show him these?

He might make you see how much you should hate me.

Who knows maybe you'll both have a big laugh about how much of a fool i seemed to look like when I wrote this.

You need more reasons to stay away right?

I mean...
It's mostly rambling, repeating everything over and over again., and begging.

Something I think about is you telling me, "ha you never tried to fix things before."
Something along those lines.
I forget.

I mean I did show nick these.

These little stories about a ship sinking.

...well I showed him mine. Because you deleted yours.

Oh before I forget. Nick don't talk to me anymore. He started fading after i sent these to him before I posted them.
I scared him off too!
Understandable.
I'm meant to be alone.

"I taught him well." Huh.
Maybe that's what you'll say.

I'm jealous. Obviously.

I deserve to be in pain for jealousy.

That's what I get angry about most I cry about it alot too.

Lmao I fucked up with what I wanted to say alot the last time I got to talk to you.
I went from "I never cheated on you" to "actually I did"

I twisted up so much and shot myself In The process.

Everything is pretty fucked Huh?

Actually that's just me.

Thanks for letting me live with these regrets.

Hopefully I'll just smoke more cigarettes and just couch up a lung and die.

Or fall asleep with a cigarette in hand and be burned alive.

Most of this probably doesn't make sense.

August 7th is my birthday.
Don't know why I'm telling you.
I just want a surprise.
A painless death if you please.
Any type of death really.
Just send death to me
He is an old friend.

**"I'm a creep. I'm a loser."