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✔ 36

Taymor
"Jamell and i-"my words halted as Kentrell walked into the church. He walked to the very front still maintaining eye contact with me. I narrowed my eyes at him feeling my anger start to rise boiling hot in my system. Oh so now he decides to show up? I bit the inside of my cheek trying to calm myself. This wasn't the place nor the time to deal with him.I breathed in diverting my eyes from him even though my heart was racing wildly in my chest." Jamell and I go way back...."I started clearing my throat halfway." I remember the first time I met him. I was working at my grandfather's garage and he so happened to need a mechanic...."my mind drifted to that very day." The first thing he said when he saw me was ,'Damn shorty you got big lips' and at the time I didn't take it so well. I fixed his car with a whole atitude and when I was done he stopped me saying 'can I follow you cuz my momma told me to follow my dreams' I punched him in his balls and walked away."some people laughed and it wasn't even that funny." But no that wasn't the last I seen of him. Melly became a constant in my life. He at one time was my reason for waking up in the morning ready to face whatever came at me. Jamell Demons is my first everything." My eyes watered." Seeing him laying there lifeless hurts me. A lot. It makes me feel like a failure and-"i cut myself off. I just didn't feel right opening up to this strangers. "It hurts but we can't change it. Like Chloe said may he rest in paradise."I stifly walked off the podium going to sit back down. Jamie and Chloe came back sitting next to Kentrell.

"Sweetie you wanna say some words?"

"No aunt."I wasn't really prepared to hear his voice but it brought shivers all over my body. My heart still hadn't settled down and my thoughts were all scattered. I tuned everything off. For my own sake.

~®~
I threw the handful of dirt into the hole my hand shaking but my soul felt worse.  A blanket of guilt was weighing me down. There was nothing anybody could say to dissolve that. I fell on my knees staring at the wooden box six feet under."

"I'm sorry...i'm so sorry."I choked on my own sobs. This is what I didn't want to face. That I would be at yet another funeral of someone who ment a lot to me. I mean I wanted to do everything in my power to help him get through his illness. He was too young to die. Now I feel like I failed him. There is nothing worse for me than feeling like a failure. It all brings me back to when my grandpa died.

I managed however to pull myself together the best I could just skimming over the rest of the funeral until i was staring at nothing more than a pile of dirt and flowers. The headstone would be put later on.

"Tay it's over let's go." Nick tagged at my hand his voice sounding oddly nervous.

"Y'all go ahead. I need a minute."I said my eyes glued to the ground.

"No let's just leave please...."he dragged out making me face him. He was shifting impatiently on his feet.

"What's wrong with you?"

"We need to talk to you.....asap! It's important."he looked desperate. Everybody else had left. It was just us left here or so I thought.

"Mr Demons huh? Or is it Mrs Demons?"I heard the familiar Louisiana accented voice. Chills ran down my spine for what reason I don't know. I was suddenly nervous,my stomach felt quisy and my knees weakened." Sorry for your loss."I managed to turn around at that cut sarcastic statement.

"Can I help you mister?"I raised my chin defiantly even though what I wanted the most was to cave into his arms and just let him hold me. My gaze met his and for sure I almost collapsed. I missed him so much the realisation of it felt like a punch straight to my guts. My eyes watered remembering every single second I prayed and hoped he was right by my side. Along with that pent up longing for him came anger. I was angry at his lanky stick built ass who so happened to be breath takingly sexy right now in all black.