The Ill-mannered Door (humorous sci-fi)

24.1: Questions in the Dark

Time passed, and I began to worry a bit about what might have happened to Derek. Certainly, he should have been back by now, either alone, or perhaps more likely at sword point.

I pondered this for a bit and couldn't help but wonder if he had been killed in his attempt to overcome the remaining guard. Could he have been run through? Was he lying dead in there? What would we do if he had been killed?

The thought suddenly occurred to me that since the destruction of the door on the island, I was cut off and might never see my home again.

The only other door back to Earth that I knew of was locked up in Derek's flat here in town, and only Derek knew the combination to the lock on the door. Well... perhaps knew the combination. Might remember it at some point anyway. But with him dead, I would be trapped for the rest of my days here on this planet. Okay, perhaps not days, but the rest of my day, at least.

Things had moved so quickly that I realized that I had not really had much time to ponder things until now. I was trapped on a strange planet in my bedclothes and without my slippers!

Oh, what would become of me?

What was happening back home?

Was I losing my job? More than that, did I truly care if I did lose it? I wasn't sure.

For that matter, was Derek losing his job back home? Did he even have one? What on earth did he even do for a living, and how did he even find himself on this planet?

If there were two doors to Earth, were there other doors that led to other planets?

Had Derek been to other planets? He certainly acted like he was from another planet, though technically he was, and so was I, for that matter.

Most importantly, what else might be in those two large duffle bags that he always trucked about with him?

These questions and more raced through my brain as I stood in the flowerbed beside the door clutching my bat. I had far too many questions and precious little answers. Oh, where was Derek?

I tried to edge closer to the king to ask if he thought we should go inside after Derek, but the king just edged right away from me. He obviously wasn't taking any chances. Well, he couldn't keep that up forever. Eventually, his guard would drop and then those slippers would be mine again. Oh, yes.

Speaking of guards, the one I had knocked out with the bat was starting to stir and began to make muffled groaning sounds. I was reasonably sure that my knots would hold, but his groans were beginning to get a bit louder, despite the towel that I had shoved in his mouth.

I bent down and whispered to him, "You'd best be quiet, or I will have to thump you again."

Against any good sense of judgment, he continued unabated. So, I hefted my bat and promptly rang his bell. After that, he was out like a light.

Oh, please, don't look at me like that. He had asked for it! I warned him, hadn't I? Yes, I had had every right. I certainly couldn't have him attracting unwanted attention to us if another patrol happened by, now could I? So you can just stuff your pretentious sensibilities in a sack until you've been in my slippers. Gah! They'd be mine again. Oh yes, just you wait and see.