The Ill-mannered Door (humorous sci-fi)

32.2: Fly Like the Wind

The familiar shores of the island where I first entered the world were barely in view when we spotted a swirling maelstrom of light in the sky above its highest peak. But, before we drew much closer, that maelstrom contracted to a point and disappeared.

"She's gone through! We need to hurry!" Derek shouted back at us from where he stood at the front of the ship.

"We're already going as fast as we can!" Barry shouted back at him from his place on the upper deck at the back of the ship.

For my part, I had set up my bed of ropes again on the deck and was trying to get some rest. We'd been doing a great deal of running about and I hadn't slept the night before. That lack of sleep was now beginning to catch up with me as the sun was setting.

Thankfully, there was plenty of food and water available on the ship, and we had eaten a hearty meal as we began our journey to the Lonely Isles. The troubling part of that was the fact that with the meal introduced to my system, my bowels seemed to be waking up, and the only thing remotely resembling a bathroom was a chamber pot. I most certainly did not relish the idea of attempting to use that for the first time with the ship pitching and rolling as we raced through the sea.

We were going through that wormhole over the island, and Derek said that we would come out the other side of it just above my home back in England. So, I swore to hold out until I reached the safety of my own loo, and no matter what Derek had to say about it, I was stopping at my home. I most certainly had business to attend to there, and I needed to see if Isabella was safe as well. Not to mention the fact that I needed desperately to change out of the pink, frilly dressing-gown that was currently my only garment and get into some of my own clothing.

I then realized that I was a bit too comfortable reclining on my rope bed, which was giving my bowels ideas that I did not approve of at all in my present circumstances, so I got up and walked to where Derek still watched the approaching island.

"This is likely a painfully stupid question," I said to him.

"Well, have at it then," Derek replied.

"How in the world are we going to get through that wormhole?"

"Easy. We're going to fly the ship through it."

"Oh, good," I said, and then just stood by staring at him. And blinking, and also breathing. I kept doing that. It was a habit really, and good to keep one up and kicking. What wasn't going quite as successfully was me somehow logically connecting the two incongruous thoughts of a sea-bound vessel going through a wormhole which happened to float above the highest point of the island. So, I stuck to what I knew and kept up the breathing. That I could handle, and I figured the rest would sort itself out eventually.

It wasn't long after that, as the ship drew near the island, that Derek seemed to notice all of the staring, blinking, and breathing that I was doing.

He said, "Come on, it will be easier if I just show you, and we're close enough to start the process now anyway."

I followed him to the point at the center of the ship where he had mounted Muriel's silver cube.

"This is how we're going to get the ship through the wormhole," Derek said, running his hand over the cube and apparently pressing a few points on its surface.

There was a great rushing sound from the direction of the island and I looked to see that the swirling maelstrom had reappeared in the sky and was expanding to its original size.

The ship lurched and I grabbed hold of the mast to steady myself as the ship seemed to climb a large swell. But then the feeling didn't stop.

"All right, what's all this then?" I said, making my way unsteadily toward the side of the ship. Peering over the gunwale, I saw that the sea was a good five meters below us and getting further away by the moment. We were flying! Yes, I know how crazy that sounds, but I saw it with my own eyes, man!

"That's how," Derek said, coming to stand beside me.

Now, I must admit that my mind was still struggling with the idea of a large, three-masted sailing ship floating through the air, but after all the business with doors to other planets, wormholes, and meeting the former empress of a galactic empire, the scientific part of my mind just sort of said, 'Oh, what the hell,' and decided to take a much needed holiday. The rest of my mind was just sort of giddy at the prospect of flying through the air on a ship and going back home through the wormhole.

"Look, Derek," I said as the ship flew over the beach and headed inland, continuing to rise, "I know we are in a terrible rush to catch the queen, and you can leave me if you feel you must, but I need to stop at my home. I have a desperate need to use the loo. My own loo, mind you. And, I really can't go around anymore wearing this--"

Derek interrupted with, "You need to check on Isabella."

"Yes," I admitted quietly. "Yes, I do."

"She did save us from the dungeon, so we owe her that at least. We'll stop, Thomas. You have my word," Derek said and then left to go below decks.

I looked out toward the wormhole. We were much closer now, and almost level with it in altitude. A few moments later, Derek came back carrying his two duffle bags and placed them on the deck.

He said, "We'll be over your house when we emerge on the other side, so you'll need to go down by rope. Go grab one of the longer coils that you have over there."

I fetched one of the less frayed coils of rope and rushed back with it.

"How much do you know about rappelling?" Derek asked.

"Well, I'm not proud of it, but I have repelled my fair share of people over the years."

"No, no," Derek said. "Rappelling. You know, down a rope?"

"Oh, do you mean abseiling?" I asked.

"Well, there's no ceiling involved, but if that's what you want to call it when you lower yourself down on a rope, then yeah."

"Yes, that's what we call it. I know essentially nothing about that."

"Wonderful," Derek said and then sighed. "All right, go grab another length of rope, the shortest you can find, and we'll rig something up, eh?"

I nodded and ran off.

The coils of rope that I found initially were all long ones, and I was still searching when Derek shouted, "Hold on to something, everyone, we're going into the wormhole!"

I turned and looked just as there was a bright flash and the front of the ship began to disappear into the swirling light. I ran to the nearest mast and clutched it for dear life. I had no idea what would happen, but I wasn't about to find out without a solid piece of wood in my grasp.

Then, when the wormhole was no more than a few meters away, I closed my eyes tightly to keep out the intense brightness and hoped for the best.

A moment later it felt as if the whole world lurched. My stomach lurched with it in much the same way that it will when a high-speed lift in a tall building begins its rapid descent to the ground floor.

Despite my best efforts, my recent meal made a reappearance the moment before I passed out.