The Ill-mannered Door (humorous sci-fi)

29.2: In the Garden of Exile

"Oh, no! I am not wearing that ridiculous thing!" I said, trying to keep my voice down, but one must be forceful in situations like these.

"Look," the king began, "she already explained that she doesn't have any other clothes. This was the best she could come up with for you."

"Well, that's right out," I said, pointing at the pink, floral print dressing-gown he was holding out for me. "I'll put my own clothes back on before I wear that!"

"No, I'm afraid you won't be doing that."

"And why not?" I asked from where I still sat in the soapy water of the horse trough.

"I've burned them," the king said matter-of-factly as Derek came back, dressed in a fresh pair of jeans and a plain, blue t-shirt, still carrying the duffles from whence his change of clothes had no doubt been pulled.

"Well, what about Derek?" I pleaded. "Surely he has something in those bags of his that I could wear instead?"

"You're not wearing any of my stuff," Derek said. "All my clothes are too big for you anyway."

"I have no fear of loose clothing, Derek, but wearing that thing terrifies me," I said pointing at the frilly dressing-gown.

"Sorry, but you're just going to have to man up, Thomas," Derek said with a smirk and the king chuckled.

My chances of manning up in that pink, floral print dressing-gown were about as good as those of a corpulent man on a pogo stick escaping a minefield. But, it was obvious that Derek wasn't going to budge, and my skin was beginning to get all wrinkly as I sat in the tepid water of the horse trough. It appeared that my proverbial goose was well and truly cooked.

"Fine!" I shouted, snatching the offensive garment from the king's outstretched hand.

Now, if it hadn't been for the time constraint involved with our impending doom and the need to find the bomb in order to halt the aforementioned doom, I would have persisted. For as I mentioned before, if I am anything, I'm persistent. However, we were running out of time, or it was running out on us, so I had no other choice.

"I hope you are both feeling rather chuffed with yourselves, because I am never going to live down the humiliation of this," I said, cinching the belt around my waist and walking off in the direction of the house.

"Oh, I don't know, you look quite lovely," the king said, and both he and Derek had a good chuckle.

I glared at them as they followed me toward the door to the back of the house, then said, "The both of you can get stuffed."

The door opened before I reached it and Muriel motioned us to come inside saying, "Come in, dears, I've put out some tea and biscuits for us in the parlor."

The smell that wafted out of the open door was everything that the odor of the time heretofore was not, and I was drawn inexorably inside.