The Ill-mannered Door (humorous sci-fi)

39.3: Valley of the Monuments

Derek yelled, "Like hell, she is!" as he sprinted toward the center of the ship and went to where he had mounted Muriel's silver cube. Then there came another whooshing sound and I turned to see the portal beginning to close.

I wasn't sure he could see from where he was standing, so I shouted, "The portal is closing, Derek!"

"That's the point, eh?" He shouted as he ran back toward where I stood at the front of the ship, watching the swirl of the contracting portal.

The queen's ship was very close to the wormhole, and it looked like she would make it through before it could close, but with a final wink, it was gone. The wormhole, not her ship, which crossed uneventfully through the space where the portal had just been moments before.

"Yes!" the king shouted from his place on the upper deck. "All hands, prepare for boarding!"

Some of the sailors began to ready the grappling hooks and boarding lines that would be used to lash our ship to the Esmerelda, while others prepared their weapons--a host of wicked-looking daggers, swords, and hand axes.

Derek then removed what looked like some kind of battery pack from his rifle and swapped it with another one, causing the rifle to make a brief humming sound after he slapped the new one into place. He then went about strapping on a knife and donning a vest, which looked to hold more battery packs and other things I couldn't identify, before finally slinging his rifle across his chest once more.

I looked at him expectantly and he extracted the baseball bat from one of his duffles and held it out to me, saying, "Look, I don't have anything more dangerous that I really trust you with, and I don't really trust you with this, especially after the way you tried to brain me with it last time..."

He shook his head and looked about ready to change his mind, so I grabbed the bat and nodded. Then asked, "When the boarding happens, what should I do?"

"I need you and the king to take some of the sailors and disarm that bomb, but hang back at first. Let the rest of the sailors and me cross over to the queen's ship first, then come behind in the confusion. This isn't the kind of boarding I'm used to. It's going to be way more up close and personal," he said, quickly drawing his knife and flipping it in the air before sliding it back into place. "But I'll keep 'em busy enough for you guys to get below decks to find the bomb. That's our first priority, then we secure the queen and call it a day. No sweat."

I couldn't help but wonder just what sort of boarding Derek was used to, but based on his preparations and that of the crew, I figured there would be more than a little sweat involved. It didn't seem like a good time to mention that, however, so I merely stood by and watched as he patted himself in a few places and then nodded before zipping up his duffle bags. He left them behind on the deck and headed toward where the men were assembling near the middle of the ship.

As he walked away, he looked back at me as I stood rooted in place, clutching the bat with white knuckles, and he said, "Whatever you do, don't swing that thing near me, eh? And I better get that back."

I nodded soberly and watched for a few moments as he joined the group of sailors and started organizing them. Then, noticing that the Bounty would shortly be drawing alongside the Esmerelda, I realized I'd better be off to find the king. The boarding was about to begin.