infuriating (colby brock fanfiction)

chapter seven

i wake to the sound of voices outside of my room. i wipe my eyes, adjusting to the light of the sun that has risen during my slumber.

i reach for my phone, checking the time and my notifications before climbing out of bed and into normal clothes. i grab a pair of jeans and a blue top with my hometown stitched on it. my mother made it for me before i moved to LA with tara, as a going away present. we were never really all that close but the present meant a lot to me to this day. i wear it when i am feeling overwhelmed as a little piece of her to remind me of my sanity. i mentally note that i need to call her today, as it's been a few days since we've spoken.

once i am dressed and my hair is brushed and pinned back, i walk out of my room to investigate who and where the voices are coming from.

i see devyn sitting on my couch with tara, and they're conversing about jake i assume.

"he's just so cute but sometimes i think he doesn't want to tell people about us because he doesn't want to be serious," she rants to the girl with the completely made up face and cute blouse on. devyn seemed like the kind of girl who was always prepared for a red carpet. i envied her beauty but tried not to think too much of it. i don't want to be jealous of my new friend.

before saying hello, i rush myself into the kitchen and make a bowl of cereal. i feel rather weak today and i don't think i can handle much before eating.

i stand and eat instead of sitting in the living room, not ready to socialize with the two girls just yet. i scroll through my phone and read replies and dms on twitter until i am done with my food.

when i wash my bowl out and place it in the dish washer for me to do later, i am reminded of yesterday's events. i stood right here, colbys hand on me and my heart racing. i shake myself from the weird day-nightmare and exit the kitchen as soon as my mind wanders off.

"hello, devyn!" i greet her finally. the girls are now silent and focused on their phones but they both look up and greet me when they notice me. devyn asks me how i am and i offer her a quick and easy lie by saying i am good. i am not good right now, i am confused and i still feel so weak.

we talk about the latest in their lives and i neglect to mention anything about mine. nothing has happened since the pizza night that doesn't have me swimming in a pool of colby, and that's the last thing i want to talk about today. i wish to spend my day ignoring his existence and giving myself a break from the anger and fire he has been making me feel. i only met him two days ago, and i am already exhausted because of him. not only mentally but physically as well. i slept horribly last night, i could barely keep myself in my own dreams. i tossed and turned for hours, lying awake and listening to music.

my morning flies by in a flash, full of girl talk. we discuss devyns ex trying to talk to her again, and jake being weird about going public. i feel silly comparing my problems to theirs. all colby did was touch me and suddenly i am a mess of anger and attraction. i have had a few crushes in my life, but i promised myself early on that i'd never pursue them until i was ready. and the way colby is making me feel makes it clear to me that i am not ready yet. i mentally agree to stay away from him for now on, not letting him get any closer than he is now. he is going to get some sort of hold on me if i don't cut it off early on.

"well, i'm going to go to jakes house soon, are you going to stay here with andro?" tara speaks to devyn, not bothering to ask me what i want. she knows id rather sit in bed and weep today, but she offers the possibility of me going out to keep that from happening.

devyn declines, though and states that she has plans to go out with a few of her friends already. anyone else might be disappointed or even ask to join her, but i am glad i can have some alone time today. i planned on it yesterday, and instead ended up seeing the last person i wanted to see.