Nathan Northwood is simply living the perfect life every teenage boy dreams of. He is rich, handsome, captain and star player of the basketball team, could have any girl he wants and is basically the king of EverGreen High. However, Nathan wears a c...
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NATHAN
I knew a trick that helped me every time I needed to act like I was okay. If I told myself I felt fine, I would feel fine.
After the weekend, on Monday morning, I was having breakfast with mom and dad. I told myself I was fine and I felt fine in front of my parents.
Having a meal at any time of the day with my parents was my least favorite thing in the world. All I did was pretend. All we did was pretend. Maybe that's why I had become a master at the art of pretending. I had two very good teachers who perfected the skill effortlessly.
Dad was asking the usual questions he asked every time he came home from his business trips twice a month. "How is the team? How is it looking this season? Do you have control over your team as captain? Have you proven to be a trustworthy leader? Are you keeping up the straight As? Have more college scouts spoken to you after the games?"
I kept nodding and answering yes to pretty much every question. I knew my dad well enough to have learned that when I answered what he wanted me to answer, he was satisfied. And when Kevin Northwood was satisfied, the ground beneath my feet stopped shaking.
Dressed in one of his expensive black suits with the blazer draped over the chair he was seated on, he was holding a glass of juice in his hand. A sharp glint of light from the chandelier hanging on the ceiling reflected on the smooth surface of his golden watch tied around his wrist. His identical, but narrowed blue eyes studied me carefully as if he was looking for a flaw. Something that needed to be polished, perfected.
I tried to focus on my food, but mom had made waffles with the housekeeper, which the Demon in my head did not let me touch. I eyed the two waffles on my plate and swallowed hard. My throat was dry, my hands cold, and my neck on fire.
So I looked at mom, which was worse than looking at the waffles. Mom's pretend smile mirrored my own as she tried to create a conversation between the three of us, but she couldn't even get dad's attention for a single second.
While mom talked about the new recipe she was going to try out on her cooking channel, dad tore his gaze from me and started scrolling through his phone while nodding absentmindedly to mom's words. He never looked at mom. He either studied me or his phone, but never a mom. He had lost interest in his accessory (also called wife) that he liked having on his arm to keep up a good image.
So we sat like this, pretending that we were a normal family when all we were was just a broken vase about to crack completely, barely holding the flowers inside together.
~
I had always wondered what it was like to walk through the school corridors or down the street and just blend in perfectly, to feel comfortable in your skin. No stares, no judgmental eyes, no expectations.
