Sienna Asma

Morbid Humor

Sienna

I pace back and forth as I wait for my men. I've been alive and here for officially twenty four hours now, and now I'm meeting Matt and Alexis. The guys didn't want to tell me how they reacted to my death and frankly, I didn't want to hear it. Just seeing how devastated my men were is enough to put the aftermath into perspective.

"What's going on, Dean? I have to meet Grey in a few hours." Alexis' lovely voice reaches my ears and a smile creeps onto my face.

Matt comes in first with a blindfold on and Dom leading him. Alexis also comes wearing a blindfold and Dean gently pushing them. They look exactly the same, but different. Like they aged. Of course physically they did, but I can't help but their aura is mature. Like me dying made them lose some innocence. But, Matt is smiling as is Alexis. I'm glad my death didn't do too much damage.

"Surprise!" Dean shouts as he whips off the fabric. Dom does the same to Matt and both of their eyes fall on me. Disbelief plagues Matt's face while sadness is on Alexis'. With Alexis' eyes uncovered, I can see the bags under them. Their eyeliner can cut someone and gold highlight, I think, we only had two makeup sessions, shimmers in the corner of their eyes. Matt's eyes don't have the usual sparkle that defined him. He looks tired... and traumatized.

"Hey," I give an awkward wave not sure how to do this. I don't know if a hug would be appropriate. I also don't know how to explain what happened. One moment I was dead, the next I'm alive. That explanation wouldn't go over well with the two people before me.

"I'm insane," Matt whispers, rubbing his eyes.

"Yes you are," I agree. "But not in the way you think."

It goes silent and I look at my men for help. They look just as panicked as me and I give my attention back to Alexis and Matt.

"Is it really you?" Alexis asks taking a step forward. They stops a few inches away from me.

"Yep. Skin and bones." I pinch the fat on my arm and jingle it a little.

"You're serious?" Matt walks next to Alexis too. "You're alive?"

"Well," I reach out and pinch him on the side ,"You're not dreaming." He winces and I give him a smirk.

Matt tackles me in a hug that has us both going down. Alexis jumps on top of us and I grunt as I'm crushed between the big bodies. "I'll be dead soon if you keep this up," I joke.

Alexis inhales sharp and pulls back with tears in his eyes. My eyes meet Dom's and he shakes his head slightly.

Now is not the time.

"Sorry," I murmur. I never know when it's okay to joke about death. The guys would probably say it's never okay to joke about death. Cole would probably call it morbid humor.

I wrap my arms around them and try to squeeze my love and affection into them. They mean so much to me. I feel terrible about leaving them. The two people in my arms have been through so much and yet they continue fighting and staying alive. I can't believe I was ready to give up and die.

But now I'm ready to take like by the... wheel? Horns? Reins? I don't remember how the saying goes. But I'm going to do it and I'm going to live.

"You can't leave us ever again," Matt cries on my shoulder.

I smile sadly and rub his back. While I'll try my hardest to stay with them, I can't stop the doubtful feeling in the back of my mind.

Not a feeling, a voice.

*

"So I confessed and she said she didn't like me that way. We're still best friends and she even hooked me up with her sibling. They're non-binary like me and it's amazing. Grey and I were supposed to have a date but tonight is so much better. They'll understand. They're so kind and caring. I can seriously see us going far." Alexis play with their food while they gush about Grey. Apparently, they had met them after Sara rejected Alexis. There's no hard feelings and things seem to be working out for them. I can see it in their glittery eyes and the constant smiling.