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sitting at the kitchen bar typing away on the computer trying to finish up some paperwork for your office job when you look up to catch your boyfriend, calum, fondling a knife, brushing his finger tips along the blade.
"babe?" you speak up with hesitation.
"what if i do it?" calum asks as he turns around with glossy eyes looking down at the sharp object placed in his right hand.
"what" you say with even more hesitation then before with a glimmer of concern. calum has been battling some mental issues for quit some time, but never has ever thought about suicide. he would hurt too many people and he knows that.
"i have so many eyes on me. so much pressure to be this perfect role model. so many people rely on me. who do i have? who can i put all my pressure on when i need help carrying it?who?no one." calum spits out.
he continues to rub his fingers along the knife.
"baby.you have me. your family. luke. ashton. michael." you try to explain with tears rolling down your eyes.
"what happens when i'm gone.who will you have?you need other people to depend on too. you need to learn to be independent. there's only been an us, but why don't we try something else. a you. where there is no me" calum speaks.
these words are flowing out of his mouth so fluently as if he's rehearsed it a million times. your thoughts are getting foggier by the second trying to take in everything that's happening in this moment of time.you watch as calum take the knife and bring it up to his neck. the sharp point of the object centimeters way from cutting him right there.
"calum stop i love you too much everyone loves you!" you scream through the salty tears flowing so fast you can taste them.
you're now standing at the other end of the kitchen trying to inch closer to calum but he only keeps backing up.
"i love you. you need someone better. you need someone who isn't a burden" calum says tearing up.
"no i need you! i only want you! you can't do this!" you are screaming for bloody murder.
the feeling in your heart is so empty. you feel as if he's already gone. you know there is nothing that you're going to say to make him not do whatever he is about to do. he's too stubborn. calum take the knife and with one sweep of the blade he falls on the floor. the scream you had let out right as his body collapse sounded so painful as if you were the one getting sliced. your heart felt like it was ripped out of you. you fall to ur knees trying to get a breath. your body is shaking and you can't get a concept of anything that just happened. you crawl as fast as you can over to your lifeless boyfriend. reaching out to grab his hand you felt a hand on your hip trying to shake you.
