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laying there in an empty bed. your boyfriend calum had gone on tour a few months ago and won't be back for a few more weeks. you always sleep better with him by your side and you haven't gotten much sleep without him. you lie there in silence and the only noise being the ac. staring up at the ceiling in your pitch black room thinking of just calum.
you wanted nothing more the calum.
a normal night with him always seemed so special thinking back on it when you're alone in your bed.
whenever he turns to his side and rest his head on your shoulder or when he lays on his back and you can rest your head on his bare chest and fall asleep to his heartbeat
his heartbeat always calmed you down when you couldn't sleep because you couldn't stop thinking of the thought of how stressful the day was or how stressful the next day could be. you always focused on his heart. you would always think of how you own that heart. his heart beats for you. you've stolen his heart and you don't ever want to give it back. then you would trace his tattoos
his tattoos made him special. your fingers would do a little dance around them when you got anxious. you wouldn't even have to look at the ink on his skin because you knew them by heart. tracing them would bring you back to how much you love him. you're not sure why but it always did.
you would fall asleep every night holding onto his arm like a teddy bear. his arm was like your security blanket. whenever you would get cold or scared you would squeeze his arm and hold it night. you held onto his arm as if it's the last time you'll ever be able to hold him again.
now without him you think of how nothing is the same.
you try to listen to your own heartbeat.you really concentrate and try to listen or feel the pulse in your own body but you only grow more anxious.
you try to trace your own tattoos but the only one you have is on your ankle.
you try to hold on to your own arm but you only have one other arm to grip it and it becomes more of a stretch then a comfort thing.
things just aren't the same.
sleeping isn't the same.
your heart aches for him to just be back in bed with you. just so you can listen to his heart beat or trace his tattoos or hold onto his arm.
the things you would give just to never sleep without him again.
