His Nerd

Chapter Forty- Eight

I AM NOT DEAD HELLOOOOO 

Okay...yes...I am aware you are angry but like can I say..

um...I love you?

Okay real talk, I'm a full-time college student,right? I have 5 classes plus a job and honestly, the first few weeks of school were a pain in my ass. I already have pre midterms + 5 essays to write not adding the group project and part-time job I have

In essence..ya girl is always contemplating life

but guess what? We trynna get that scholarship ya know? 

I don't want you guys thinking I don't care for the novel or you guys anymore because I assure you, it's always on my mind. I just haven't had the time and quite frankly, I'd rather make ya'll wait a little extra than post a shitty chapter

Also...many of you were very sweet and kind with asking for updates but to the one's that sent me nasty messages because I haven't updated.. 

I still love you and I get you're upset, I would be too. But please weigh in the reasons and always be kind..there's no need for such behavior 

THAT BEING SAID....

OH I KNOW YA'LL BEEN WAITING..

CHAPTTTTERRRRRR FORTYYYY- EIGHTTTT

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       I'm not certain about a lot of things but at that very moment, I knew beyond a fact I was without a doubt cursed

I don't know who my fairy God mother is or any of that but like...she ain't doin a very good job I thought sarcastically as I saw the man who stood infront of me 

For a moment, I forgot about everything and just stared at him

It hadn't been that long since I've last seen him but when my eyes connected with his , it felt as if I hadn't seen him in years

I spent many nights in my bedroom rehearsing what exactly I planned to say to him if we ever were to see one another again, yet when my eyes connected with his..

everything was forgotten as my mind remained in a blank state

"Do you know him?" Sam spoke, breaking me apart from my daze

I blink my eyes a few times before adverting my attention to Sam and pathetically nodded my head

"y-yeah," I said shakily, "something like that" I responded hesitantly looking towards Blake

No one uttered a word after that as Sam became more aware of the obvious tension that was circulating the room

I can't tell you what happened next

One minute I'm in between Sam and Blake and the next I'm sprinting out the door to God knows where feeling my breathing quicken 

I know

I'm a fucking pussy

All this time apart, I've practiced self assurance, self reflection, self love, self dependence, and yet with just one look, everything I have mentally prepped for went away like thin air

I don't understand it

is this love? 

Am I blinded by love or insanity?

I quickened my pace feeling my throat dry up as I ran as fast as my legs would be able to carry, trying so desperately to escape my head, the pounding noise of my shoes that hit the ground matched the pounding in my head almost in synchronization