|Chapter Twenty|

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"K-Kenny! No, no, no, no, no! Please don't leave!"

Strike one. turns out when you juggle things, make sure they aren't knives, because if they are you can end up like Kenny.

"What happened!? Please, I-I don't know how too help you, please tell me how to help!"

Strike two. It didn't take long for Kenny to die again. But this time from coughing up blood. He would say it was Hanahaki but that was a little too romantic.

"Quick, someone, call the emergancies!" 

Three strikes you're out. Somehow, someway, he was shoved onto the top of a very hot oven stove and had him head kept down by force.

Three times in one week. Three, whole times of excruseating pain. Okay, so the first one was his fault, but the others were not! And now, Kenny locked one of the bathroom stalls, feeling the urge to blow his brains out. One more round of Russain Rulette won't hurt a thing! Right?

He fiddled with the trigger, tears streaming down his face. He couldn't seem to move his hand or arms properly and his moves were shaky. Kenny's vison blurred, tears turning the world of color into shades of grey and pale blue. The gun, old and rusted, had been buried deep into his pockets making it unnoticable to the untrained eye. He always carried a gun with him.

"Mother fuckers!" Kenny screamed accendently dropping bullets from his hand, the cases making a 'clink' sound before rolling away. "Won't anything just let. Me. Die!?" He slammed his fist aginast the side of the stall, anyone who was in the restroom before had surely left.

Kenny burried his face in his gloves, sobbing uncontrolably. The gun had slipped from his hand and onto the floor. The gun his the ground and this set off the trigger. It went off with a 'bang!' but only shot out a blast of air. There were no bullets. Perhaps that was the upsetting part for Kenny.

"Why would you let me die!?" He screamed upwards at the roof. "I don't remember being worse than all the other fucked up people on Earth, so why do I have this power!? WHY!?!"

The immortal had a panic attack in the middle of a class. The walls just seemed to move inward and close in on him, the desk and chair suddenly taller than usual. It was like Kenny's vison was distorted and even the thought of looking at something and knowing it's real sounded preposterous.

"Damn it... I even miss Cartman... I'm fucked."

Knock knock

He stopped his weaping long enough to pull his feet off the floor and onto the toiolt seat so no one could see his feet from outside the stall. "E-exuse me...? I heard someone crying... Is everything okay...?"

Kenny regretfully reconized the voice and kept scilent. "I know someone's here, I just want to help any way I can..." The immortal stayed quite.

He pulled down his hood in the slightest so his voice could be unmuffeled. "Go away." He said shakilly. The person outside the stall didn't go away. "Are... Are those yours...?" 

A shoe from the outside pointed to the gun and the round of bullets sprawled out on the floor. "No, the guy before me left them there and I thought he dropped them!" Kenny snapped out of no where. 

"I'm coming in."

"N-no, don't do that please!" Kenny begged but the other was already on his hands and knees, trying to crawl throught the space inbetween the cold bathroom tile and the stall door. Butters pushed himself off the ground and brushed himself off. "K-Kenny...?" He said in disbelife. 

Kenny sadly chuckled letting the tears fall down his cheeks. "I told you not to come in... That's a very risky move in a general you know." He joked, despertly trying to devert the topic to anything but him. Butters reached down and picked up the weapon carefully. He checked to see if it was loaded and picked up the bullets as well. "Were y-you?"

Butters voice cracked like an old brick wall under pressure. "Buttercup, I-I-I swear I can explain! Please, give me a chance!" Butters pressed his back aginst the door, slowly falling to the floor, knees to chest, gun in arms. "Please, there is a more or less reasonab-"

"Did I do something wrong...? Could I have done anything to help...? Anything at all?" The blonde clutched the gun tightly, fingers curled around the cold metal. "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, don't think about yourself like that! You prolong this from happening, you make it better!" Kenny explained letting his worry show in his words.

"But not good enough."

Butters let water fall from his eyes as he wiped the tears on his sleeves. But as soon as he would erase them, they'd be replaced by new ones. Kenny stewed in his regret and guilt. He never ment to hurt his love and he knew there was nothing he could do about it now. And Butters was right.

He did want to die. And he would continue to kill himself until he stayed dead. It would take a lot more than one silly crush to convece him other wise. The depressing part was, Butters had more than the nessisary potental to fill that gap. "I'm sorry... I should have been a better friend, I should have known!" Butters sobbed. He couldn't help it. It was in his blood to be emotional.

Kenny scooped Butters up from off the floor and pulled him into a tight hug. "Don't ever say anything like that about yourself again, do you understand me!? Anything I do doesn't matter and it's certainly not your fault. I'm the one who should be apologizing if anything!" Kenny cupped his Buttercup's cheeks, brushing the tears off his face.

Warmth rose through Butters's face, turning him a bright red. "You're the one in the bad situation, how did the roles switch?" Kenny looked down still holding the other. "Well," He started. "It's better this way. With your problem first."

"It's not."

"It is."

Butters closed his eyes and sighed. "How's that...?" He asked. "Your problem is easy to fix while as my problem takes more time and effrort. The solution to your problem is simply to look in the mirror and realize you are the most wonderful thing that ever happened to me. You can't not be the best person in the room."

Wonderful? That sounded... wonderful. "T-that's not true." Butters denied, not believing a word that was spat out of Kenny's mouth about him or how good a friend he was. Kenny gulpped, a lump forming in his throat. "Then how come it was so easy to fall for you?"

"W-what?"

"I love you Buttercup. I really do..."

.

.

.

.

.

Butters jumped up and out of Kenny's grasp hurriedly. "T-that's imposable! You can't love me, you just can't!" Butters panicked pulling on his hair. "I do, but you don't have to say anything, please don't freak out, I shouldn't have said anything, I'm so so sorry!" Kenny's voiced croaked and the cried. 

The blonde unlocked the stall and ran out the door, dropping the gun and bullets into a trashcan along the way. Kenny's heart clutched as he felt the weight of his confession. Butters didn't love him back... If he did they'd have a totally gay speech and then kiss. Not run away with your gun.

Kenny sighed letting the rest of his tears slip by and slowly pushed himself off the floor. What was even the point now? He reached into the trash bin and pulled out the weapon that was dropped inside. He loaded in one bullet. "Ms.Peacock, libary, with the knife. Uno reverse card so now that equals me." He pulled the trigger. And for the first time in years...






He flinched. 

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