Only Above the Surface

The Binge

Thank you for 5k 😭 I just saw it omg

Like a bittersweet routine, Jimin found himself where he always ends up after being cheated on: sitting in a McDonald's playpen trying to fit as much of a Quarter Pounder into his mouth as he could. His stomach was already bloated to the max and aching painfully but he ignored it. It'll be gone soon anyway. Jimin wiped his runny noses on his sleeve, he wasn't sure if it was from crying or because of the onions on the burger.

"Ah, Sir, the play area is closed to—" An employee says from below the plastic racecar Jimin was currently sitting in. Jimin snapped his head toward to worker making the young man gulp. Jimin's eyes were wild and dangerous, his hair was unkempt from constantly pulling at it for the last hour, and he had ketchup running along the corners of his mouth giving him a red, clown-like smile. He looked like a wild man on the verge of murder. Or a rabid raccoon.

The McDonald's worker slowly backed out of the play area, eyes never leaving the crazed man in case he decided to attack.

Finding himself alone again, Jimin returned to munching on his burger. Which happened to be his fourth burger. He wasn't sure what to do from here. He thought about calling Jin but felt like such a bother to him that he decided not to. How many times has he called Jin to help him get through a messy breakup? Too many that it made Jimin feel like a burden. Maybe he was a burden. He thought he had a kickass personality, a nice ass, and face but he could never seem to keep a man faithful. Were men really shit or did he turn them to shit? What was he missing? Why couldn't he be an alcoholic instead of bulimic? Was there something wrong with him? Did Taehyung even care about him at all? Would he miss him if he was gone? Maybe he should've joined in like that bitch wanted just to make her know that Taehyung's favorite place was inside Jimin. But what if that wasn't Taehyung's favorite place? Jimin scoffed at the thought, he'd seen Tae's sex face enough to know his ass was top notch. Yet, he still had another person warming his bed. If Jimin was gone Taehyung just need to snap his fingers and a bitch would come running. What did Jimin have to offer? A dead end job with a shitty boss who sexually harasses him on the daily? No apartment, no family and now no car because it was just repoed an hour ago. He had nothing. Just another wet stain like his ex said.

These were dangerous thoughts and Jimin was quite aware of that but that didn't stop them from coming. Jimin looked down at the half-eaten burger in his hand and sighed. He wasn't "hungry" anymore. His binge was done but now the regret was beginning to set in. The fear of gaining weight, of all the calories he just inhaled; the thought of his clothes becoming tighter sent panic straight to his gut. He needed to get rid of it before his stomach could digest it; before the fat could settle.

He threw the burger into the paper brown bag and stood only to immediately double over in pain. His stomach felt like it was on the verge of exploding. He groaned as he rolled himself down the playpen's triangle stairs and onto the floor. The pain continued to worsen, Jimin swore he never felt this bad after a binge and he started wondering if he overdid it this time. It felt like his stomach was bubbling, kind of how you used baking soda and vinegar for those shitty middle school volcano projects but this time Jimin wasn't sure which end the explosion would happen.

He tried to stand again but collapsed onto his knees, he wasn't going to make it to the bathroom. He felt the bubbling just below his gag reflex and slapped a hand over his mouth in the hope that he could hold it in.

His legs gave out every time he tried to stand so he was left to crawl to the glass door of the play area. Jimin looked up through the glass door to see the employee from early shaking his head with his arms crossed over his chest.