Only Above the Surface

Too much.

Guys, I'm so freaking sorry this took so long but I've been going through a lot of personal stuff at home and it's overwhelming ): for an introvert, you'd think I'd love quarantine. I fucking hate being stuck at home and my family....well a lot of shit has hit the fan lets just say that and go 👉 I'll be updating more now since everything has finally gotten into a routine but I'm sorry it's been literal months since I last updated.

Please love me ):

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Jin felt his stomach sink, this was not what he needed. Jimin was still talking but it sounded foreign to the older male. Without thinking, Jin pressed the end button and shut off his phone, throwing it into the backseat. He couldn't believe what he heard.

Buckie was dead.

Buckie, the grandfather everyone wished they had. Buckie, the one to take in stray animals and give them all the love a pet could ever want and need. Buckie, the one to take in rough-looking, troublesome kids and give them the affection they desperately craved. Buckie, the makeshift cowboy with a heart of gold was dead because of a fucking heart attack. The fucking irony. Maybe Buckie's heart grew three sizes that day and his poor body couldn't handle it because what human body could hold a heart filled with so much love to give? It wasn't fucking fair.

Buckie was like a second father to him. Jin started working at the bowling alley since he was twenty and connected with the older man right away. It was always a simple side job that he should've quit a long time ago but he didn't want to break Buckie's heart. Buckie had taken a liking to Jin as soon as he saw the tall gangly boy because he looked so much like his late son, Sojoon, who died in a freak accident during his military service. This happened years before Jin started working at Buckie's but he always sympathized with Buckie's need to see Jin as his son and in turn, the older man became a father figure to him. To hear that he died...

Jin could feel the tears gathering in his eyes and he let them fall, not bothering to catch a single one. His heart felt like someone was squeezing all the blood out of it. He didn't want this; didn't want to think about this.

It was too much.

He left like a circus entertainer holding up rotating plates on sticks across his arms and if he focused on one, another would tumble and break but right now they were all falling and Jin couldn't catch one. He didn't know what to do; he didn't want to do anything.

It was all too much.

His chest felt like a mixture of numb and an explosion all at once. It wasn't fucking fair! Buckie didn't deserve this. He deserved to go in his sleep; restful and content. Buckie wasn't even that old! He was pushing 60 but Jin knew people who lived till they were 95! Buckie still had so many years left to live and now Jin would never see him reach that age.

It was too much.

Why did life shit on the best people? Buckie was a good person, dammit! Jin didn't want to cry, he hated crying. But here he fucking was. He couldn't control the sobs that raked through his body. He doesn't know how long he stayed there crying in his car, praying this was some twisted joke but he knew it wasn't. Jimin wouldn't joke about something like this. He knew he wouldn't, but, God, he wished it was some sick joke.

Too much.

Everything was too much.

He just wanted to be numb.

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Jungkook was working on documenting a few receipts when his phone glowed with an incoming call from Taehyung.