Castaways

twenty-seven.

S i e r r a

How could they do that to me? My boyfriend and my best friend? My boyfriend and my best friend! 

Slamming the door to Mike's guest room, I plopped down on the bed and went through their possible thought processes. 

I honestly didn't know what to do. If this happened a week ago, I knew what I would do. I would break up with Luke, and avoid Angelle at all costs. It's high school, it's not like it's that hard. But now?

We're not in high school anymore. So what now?

Three knocks pulled me out of my train of thought, and I instantly shut down again. "Go away," I said, knowing it was Luke or someone else about to yell at me.

"Sierra, please," I was surprised to hear Ashton's soft voice come from the other side of the door. 

"Ash?"

"Yeah, it's me. Look, I just wanna talk. It's just me, no one else. Can I please come in?"

I thought it over for a minute and decided that I was always able to talk to Ash, and never having to be afraid I would be judged. I stood up from the bed, and, taking a shaky breath, opened the door. 

"Hey," Ash said, giving me a soft smile. 

"Hi." 

"Can... Can I come in?"

I nodded slowly, opening the door wider for him to step inside. He joined me inside and moved to the center of the room, while I closed the door. 

"Are you okay?" He asked, hands in the pockets of his black jeans. 

"What?" I asked, because well... I wasn't expecting that. 

"I know everyone's been focused on everyone else... Makayla, Luke, Calum, Angelle... But no one's asked you. So I'm asking you. Are you okay?"

And then everything hit me. The anger and betrayal dissipated, and the sadness hit me. 

Unbelievable. 

I am unbelievable. 

Yes, they did something horrible, but I was more horrible. If I hadn't lost my best friend before, I certainly did now. 

"No." I finally answered him, trying to tamp down my emotions. "I... Why did I do that?" I looked him in the eye, and I could feel tears escaping my own. He wasted no time crossing the room and attacking me with a hug. 

"Hey,  it's okay." He rubbed my back soothingly, and I pushed him away because I didn't deserve it. 

"No, it's not! How could I do that? How could I say those things to her? I don't even recognize me anymore! God, I'm such a bitch!" I realized, wiping my tears away. 

"Yeah." He said, and I looked up at him because damn, he's full of surprises today. 

"Excuse me?"

"Yeah, you were. But it's okay. You had the right to be a bitch. You had the right to be angry. Did you go too far? Yeah, but she will forgive you." He pushed me over to sit on the bed, while he sat beside me. "You're her best friend. You did something stupid, so did they. Not doing anything stupid things doesn't make you best friends. If you can forgive stupid things, that's what makes you best friends." 

"How do you know? Have you ever been in this situation?" I asked because I wasn't so sure I could be forgiven. 

"Not exactly."

"What does that mean?"

"I'm gonna tell you something I've never told anyone."

"Ok."