Feeling bad is perfectly okay and telling someone your problmes i a great start. It's always better to say it out loud. EDITED ———————————
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"POV: YOU'RE AN EMOTIONAL TRASH CAN" //familiar?//
You are that typical loveable person, who everyone needs in their lives. You were full of happiness, energy and love. If someone was feeling down, they could go to you and you would always cheer them up. You always showered your friends with love and affection one of the reasons why everyone liked you. You were like an energy source, a goofball, a bit weird yet still love-able. You were always kind, always happy, always there to help.
Yet in the inside you were full of it. A lot of things were built up and every little thing, every drop of hatred was filling you with anger. You've been down for a while but you hid it. You lied, you told them it was nothing. They always thought you cried over silly things, for example the main character died in you favourite series or you fell down the stairs, or you were just crying because of happiness .. but they were all just excuses. If ever cried it wasn't becasue of one thing, but multiple problems building up and over-flowing.
It was hard to keep it under control. All that pain, that emotion bubbled up inside of you, waiting for a release. You never lashed out on anyone before. You kept everything hidden, you only cried for real when you were alone. But even if people saw you cry you'd just make up a lie.
If you keep pouring water into a glass, either way once it'll be full; no matter how much you pour into it, no matter who pours the water, it's going to flow out. In every direction and there is no way to stop it.
After these years of letting others take advantage of your kindess, you got sick of it. You were sick of people robbing you out of your energy, letting others bring you down, helping other people but it wasn't mutual. When you needed help, when you were down and when you asked for help they ignored you and this broke your heart even more.
Your boyfriend noticed your change, he noticed that something was wrong.. but practice matches were coming up and he didn't have time for you and your silly things. You understood his decision, you understood he choose volleyball over her girlfriend's "little" problems. So you faked a smile and told him it was okay..
But you knew if you didn't tell anyone your problems you're going to blow. Just like a bomb. At first no one will notice it, it's ticking quietly. Out of nowhere it explodes and everyone is hurt.
You approached Iwaizumi full of hopes, knowing he will help and listen. But Oikawa got jealous over his own best friend. You tried to reason him but he only told you that you are putting more pressure on his shoulders and he can't deal with it now. Talk about toxic relationships.. It made your blood boil even more with anger, he was being childish and petty but you obeyed nonetheless, you stayed away from Iwaizumi.
