The Secrets of Cedar Creek

46 : Cinderella

Time flies quickly. We make our way into the main hall to eat dinner. Halfway through the meal, Sylv shows up – but keeps his eyes trained on the food and hasn't looked up at me once.

Adrian sits handsomely by my side and get's along great with May's boyfriend, Kane. He seems a little bit clueless to the fame, much like I am. Avalon and Jackson sit next to each other opposite me and flirt obviously under the table. It makes me cringe.

Then, for a split second, I look around for Paige.

The thought stabs me in the gut, making me wince and nearly kneel over in pain – if I wasn't already sitting. I can't believe she's not here. Six months later and it still shocks me, it still hurts so, so much.

I look back to Sylv and for a second, Jess's bleach blonde hair reminds me of Paige. I think, for the fraction of a second, that it's Paige. I bite my lip. Maybe Sylv's upset for the same reason I am – maybe he's imagining her here and wincing at the fact that she was taken from us.

Jess places her hand on his arm, probably noticing that he's off or upset about something. The gesture makes me feel sick to the core. Enough to knock me right on edge.

I grab my purse.

Without looking Adrian in the eyes, I grip his hand tightly. I think my fake nails would have stabbed him if his tux jacket wasn't in the way. "I'm going to the bathroom. Be right – back," I breathe.

I make a run for the bathrooms.

.

.

.

The bathrooms are down a wide staircase – seriously could have been off a princess movie and could be the entrance to a castle. I sprint down them, almost tripping over my dress – which is too long and my heels too high.

I throw the bathroom door open and fall onto my knee's, violently getting sick in the toilet.

I hold back tears. I can't ruin my makeup. Not the makeup. I only brought toothpaste, not a whole makeover kit.

I kneel over again and dry heave. My throat aches.

I lean on the toilet bowl for a while and sit there, focussing on not crying. Please don't cry. Please don't cry.

The overwhelming feelings make me think about finding something sharp and digging it into my skin. Old habits die hard. I push the thought away and smack myself in the head.

When I finally feel strong enough, I walk out of the stall and look at myself in the mirror.

The makeup covers where I would usually have dark circles under my eyes. I can blame the redness in them for fake lashes agitation. It's believable. My lip gloss is all gone.

I reach into my purse and brush my teeth a few times. Then I reapply my lip gloss and I look good as new. Shame I don't feel it.

Breathing into my hands, I check one last time that my breath doesn't reek of vomit. Ew. Why am I so gross and why does this keep happening to me? The sound of footsteps reaches me and I realise I've been gone for a while – I should probably get back. I'll just pretend there was a line or something, even though everyone has been going to the other bathrooms closer to the dance floor.

I make my way back up the grand staircase and look up at an overhanging chandelier. This place is spectacular, and it makes me feel almost like a queen or something. At this rate, I'd better suit the jester. 

Then my foot steps on something cold and I realise my shoe fell off.

I huff with annoyance and take a look behind my shoulder, spotting my shoe about five steps down.

Just like the real Cinderella.

Then I see more shoes, beside my shoe. I follow the shoes up dark panted legs, up a dark shirt, up to a dark stubble, up to deep, dark brown eyes.

Without saying a word, Sylv picks up my shoe and walks up the steps. He kneels in front of me, and I instinctively put out my bare foot. He slides the slipper on.

Then he stands up on the step below me. Our chests brush against each other. He's still taller than me, even on the step below.

His breath comes out fast, hot and angry in an aggravated puff. He grits his teeth. "Who's that snobby dickhead you brought?" he lets out in a quiet, low voice.

I rub my lips together. "That's Adrian."

His eyebrows furrow as he intensely scrutinises me. He scans my whole face and I feel my heartbeat get faster and thump against my throat. "He's using you, Rose."

"For what?" I growl. "You know nothing about him."

"You're only lying to yourself, Rose. He's using you, just like Scott."

My cheeks burn. "How dare you." I step forward, forcing him off balance and he steps down to the step below. "How dare you show up here with Jess – of all people - on your arm, then say that no guy could ever actually want me?" I hit his chest, forcing him down another step.

Something burns in my lungs and I wonder if all the ash I've inhaled is finally going to choke me.

He grabs my wrists. "You know that's not what I said."

"But you did." I rip my arms away. "You're so f*cking arrogant, Sylv. I don't even know why you kissed me the other night. Was it just to rub it in my face? Were you just rubbing it in that I've f*cked it up too much now? Was it just to show me what I've lost?" I can't contain my anger as I keep pushing him down the steps, one by one. "Did you even forgive me? Or was bringing Jess just your elaborate way to punish me for accusing you? What the f*ck do you want Sylv?"

Then we make it to the last step and it pushes me off balance. I gasp and trip on my dress. I fall into him and he steadies me, holding me out. But as soon as I'm steady, he lets go.

"You're the f*cking arrogant one, Rose. You're the one that shows up in my hospital room at midnight and does the whole damsel in distress act. You're right – maybe I haven't forgiven you and maybe I just felt sh*t because you were crying in front of me. Because you're f*cking right. You're f*cking right! It hurt when you said that sh*t and I still haven't forgotten about it." He's panting when he's finished and I feel a hammer knock the wind out of me.

I feel sick again – but I know I've already got everything out of my stomach.

"I f*cking wish you left me in that fire," he finally says, with a final breath.

I grit my teeth so hard I feel like my jaw might snap.

His eyes reach mine and I think I see regret in his eyes. But what does he regret? The sh*t he's said? Or just the kiss?

"And if it's not about Paige – don't f*cking speak to me. Stay the f*ck away."

I drop down onto the bottom step – feeling too weak at the knees to stand. I lean over my knees and hug them close to me. He strides off behind me up the stairs, and I listen to the angry patter of his steps. How do I keep doing this? How do I keep making things worse?

I should just chase him up those steps and beg for him to take me back. But I know I can't. I know, because I'm so weak that I can't stand.

But because I'm f*cking persistent, I try, then feel faint and fall down.

I black out for a second. But the second is too short and I'm conscious again. At this point, tears are streaming down my face. Atleast I could hold them back while he was in front of me.

Then I hear more footsteps behind me.

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this chapter always makes me sad to read..

to whoever's still reading this, thankyou. i don't think you understand how much it means to have someone care enough to read this far.

thankyou,

aurora