In The Strong Girls club book, we tell a lot of stories about our lives and open up about things we go through.
We give a lot of advice, but still receive questions on many things and still have a lot of questions ourselves on putting that advice to...
Any sexual touching between a child and adult is sexual abuse.
But sexual abuse does not have to involve penetration, force, pain, or even touching. If an adult engages in any sexual behavior (looking, showing, or touching) with a child to meet the adult's interest or sexual needs, it is sexual abuse.
Sexual assault is an act in which a person intentionally sexually touches another person without that person's consent, or coerces or physically forces a person to engage in a sexual act against their will.
Sexual abuse/assault can leave you with questions and doubts such as your clothing or behavior, or even if you were aroused when it happened means that it isn't actually abuse.
This couldn't be further from the truth.
If you did not consent or are have been sexually touched by an adult as a child that is sexual abuse/assault period.
The first thing to know is this is not your fault.
Sadly, sexual abuse/assault happens everyday on a global scale, and it is never the victim's fault.
You are not alone though it may feel that way, and you are not to blame for anything done against you.
The next thing to know is you can get help.
To speak up about sexual abuse isterrifying to say the least, but to keep suffering isn't fair to you.
You deserve to heal.
And to heal means to get help.
Step 1: Contact RAINN
If talking to someone in person about the sexual abuse is just too terrifying, talk to RAINN.
You can go to RAINN.org right now and speak to a certified trainer anonymously in a message chatroom that will help you figure out resources and steps to take in your healing process.
Step 2: Tell someone you trust and take it slowly
If you are ready to talk to someone offline, tell an adult that you trust what has happened.
You can start by telling them bits and pieces if you like then see how they respond.
For example you can start off by saying something like,
"Someone in my life has been doing things that make me uncomfortable/I'm not okay with."
If they don't respond in a way that makes you feel confident enough to tell them more, try to tell another adult you trust.
If the person that has sexually abused you is your parent or guardian, and your other parent or guardian is absent or aware and not taking action, try telling a school counselor, a teacher, or another trusted adult in your life.
The fear of ruining your relationship with this person or their reputation is very understandable.
But one way to combat this is to imagine this happened to someone you love
I'm sure you would encourage them to speak up.
You deserve to do the same for yourself.
Step 3: Find someone that listens.
Do not giving up on telling the truth just because some people don't believe you.
Keep telling until SOMEONE does and helps you take action.
If you are afraid the sexual abuse is going to get worse upon telling someone, RAINN really can help.
If you are an immediate danger or have had your life or the life of someone you love threatened though, please call 911/the emergency number for your country as well as RAINN.
The aftermath
Some relationships in your life will not be the same.
Being honest and laying everything on the table will change things most certainly.
But telling the truth and seeking justice can protect you and others at risk from the perpetrator.
Speaking up gives you the chance to stop them from hurting you or anyone else ever again.
