Destroying a Monster (Xavier)

F$&ked Up

                                          Xavier

The next morning, I woke up to my head pounding. I looked around to see that I was in the living room. What the fuck happened last night? I tried to think back but my head was hurting to bad. I stumbled up the stairs to my room and flopped into bed. I felt like something was missing but ignored it and went back to bed.

I woke up to a light knock on the door. I ignored it for awhile and it stopped. Then I heard footsteps pounding up the stairs and  someone began banging on my door.

"Xavier, wake the fuck up. I know you're in there." Anger took over at whomever was on the other side of the door. I got up yanking the door open.

"What the fuck do you want?!" I said grabbing who ever it was and throwing them back into the hall wall.

"Move, you jackass." I noticed finally that it was Chase. He pushed into my room turning on the light. "Fuck! You idiot!"

"What the hell is your problem?" He never talked to me that way!

"Where is she? Mom called me last night she said Rose heard screaming then saw Aubrey run out and when she got over here she was gone. Now her car is in the drive way and we have no idea where she went." I paused taking all that in. Aubrey left? I thought back to last night ignoring my head. Fuck, I remember now. I ran my hands over my face trying to wake up.

"I kicked her out." I said carelessly.

"You what? Why the hell did you do that I thought you..."

"Liked her? Just like everyone else! Well, just like I told her, I don't. I'm not her keeper and I'm tired of everyone thinking I am!" Now I remembered everything. The fight at the bar me yelling at her then me finishing another six pack and passing out on the couch.

"Dumb ass. Where is she?" I shrugged.

"I don't know, home probably. Whatever she will be fine now."

"Oh really? Cause I just left her apartment, and the coffee shop, she's gone." I froze looking over his face.

"You're lying."

"Wanna bet?" He yelled. "I hope your happy.
Everyone officially knows you are heartless. I hope you know what you did. That girl was good for you, and you are to damn proud to admit it. Don't you dare tell yourself you don't care about her. You know you do but you are to scared so you chose the easy way out, you pushed her away." He turned to leave then looked back. "Not that you 'care', but what ever happens to that girl is on you." He turned stomping off and slammed the front door.

I turned punching the wall beside my dresser. What had I done? Why did I kick her out? At the time it made sense. I couldn't have her that close. She had turned my world upside down. I didn't want to care. I didn't want it to matter what happened to her but it did. No matter what I told myself, it would mess me up in a different way then when my parents died if something happened to her. Because now I had a chance to prevent it. I could protect her, I wanted to protect her. And it scared the hell out of me. I never thought straight when it came to her and now I had done the dumbest thing of all and left her fully out in the open. She was vulnerable and it was because of me. I was so determined to prove to everyone that she meant nothing to me and for what? To prove nothing had changed? Well, it had. I threw on clothes and ran out the front door. Chase was there leaning against his bike.

"You finally get your shit together?" He asked.

"You going to help or talk shit the whole time?" I shot back.

"I was thinking both." I rolled my eyes.

"Start calling the guys."