Destroying a Monster (Xavier)

Monsters Realization

Xavier

Seeing her apartment broken into made my stomach turn. I knew they were after her but thinking that I had been so stupid as to kick her out made me sick. I couldn't tell her about my past, I didn't have to guts to look at this beauty woman and tell her every sin I had committed. I wasn't brave enough to risk her leaving me  again and it angered me that she made me feel weak. She cared for me because she saw me as someone who had a rough past and was misunderstood. She didn't know the monster inside. True I had lost my temper around her but only mildly. She would never see the true demon inside if I could help it. She would surely run and that is why I was determined to leave her be after this. She shouldn't have to see the darkness.

That night around nine, about fifteen of the guys were at the house. I decided against going out so most of them stayed and drank at the house. Aubrey stayed upstair while they were here and I was thankful. I stayed with the guys for awhile but every now and them my mind would drift towards the girl in my room and before I knew it I was calling it a night. I went to my room to find her curled up in my bed with her hair spread around her face on the pillows. I sat beside her on the bed moving a strand of her hair from her face. Her eyes fluttered open and she looked up at me. She simply smiled and then closed her eyes again. I felt myself do something I hadn't in a long time, I smiled.

The next morning, she woke me up around five so she could get to work. I was not a morning person.When we got to the shop they were just opening. I sat in my normal spot in the corner. I didn't ask any of the guys to come with me, mostly because no normal person was awake at this time.

"Here," She came over to me with some coffee. "I know you don't like getting up this early, I'm sorry." I took the mug from her.

"Thanks"

"And thank you for... keeping your distance from the customers and not scaring people off." I smirked.

"Well, the old lady still looks like she's about to faint every time you come near me." I said looking at the little woman looking like she was watching a horror movie and waiting for someone to jump out with a chainsaw.

"She just worries. I should get back to work."
No one seemed to notice I was there. They were in too big of a hurry getting their coffee and running to work. By nine everything calmed down and only a few old men sat outside reading the paper. Aubrey was talking to the old woman when I walked up to the counter. The woman froze and Aubrey turned confused then saw me and smiled.

"Hey, you want food?"

"Whatcha got?"

"Muffins, scones, cinnamon rolls..."

"That will do." She shook her head rolling her eyes walking towards the back. I watched her as she got a plate down and started putting food together for me. I felt the woman still watching me and started getting frustrated. "What?" I snapped. She jumped and looked away.

"Why won't you just let her be?" She whispered. I'm not sure if I was meant to hear it or not.

"I tried." I said quietly trying to not scream at the woman for questioning me. She saw how this was my fault just as I did and for some reason that made me want to hate her. "She is safe with me. I don't expect you to understand that but it's true." She surprised me looking up at me.

"Is she? Who can be safe around a monster?" I clenched my teeth as anger ran through me. I didn't need this woman telling me everything I was already afraid of. I wanted to kill her telling me to leave Aubrey. It was the same thing I had been telling myself only this time I was trying to argue against it. Hearing someone tell me I would hurt her made me realised then that she was going to be safe with me. I would never hurt her, never again would I risk anything happening to her. That wasn't going to be the problem. The problem was going to be that even though she was safe from me not everyone else was and eventually she would see the dark side and that's when she would run.

"I would never hurt her."

"You already have." Well that kinda stung. I felt that guilt come back from the first time I hurt her, and the second time when I could have easily cause her serious harm or two nights ago when I saw the tears running down her face from my words. Her face ran through my head and I squeezed my hands into fist wanting to punch something.

"I'm trying." I whispered feeling defeated.

"Here." I looked up seeing Aubrey come back and hand me food.

"Thank you, Angel." She smiled. The door to the coffee shop opened and we all looked to see the pastor of the first baptist church walk in. I moved behind the counter towards the back where they cook as he walked to the register.

"Aubrey," He smiled. "I didn't see you this past Sunday, you know we love to hear you in the choir." I didn't know she sang.

"I'm sorry, Pastor Grant, I didn't make it."

"You will be there Sunday?" She hesitated.

"I'll see what I can do." I sighed and the pastor looked up noticing me for the first time. He seemed to stand straighter but gave me a small nodded.
"Well, what can I get for you?"

"Let me see." He looked over the food in the window before ordering. He didn't stay long and when he left, Aubrey turned to me.

"No" I said knowing exactly what was about to come out of her mouth. I would go to work with her everyday but there was no way I was stepping into that church.

"I didn't say you had to go."

"You know I'm not letting you go alone."

"You don't have to go."

"Damn right, and neither do you." She huffed and walked around me to the back and started getting ingredients out. That was easier than I thought. She didn't talk for awhile just baked ignoring me. I walked behind her but she ignored me. I reached around her taking the spoon she was using out of her hand and put it on the table. She sighed heavily.

"One of the others can go with me." She said still turned towards the table. I didn't say anything. Why was it so damn important? She turned to me and looked up with those big damn blue eyes. I sighed looking over her face. The bruise on her face was fading but was still very visible. I felt that same anger starting to build up again. I wanted to tell her no but i didn't trust her to just go anyway.

"I'll think about it."