The Romanoffs

Chapter 8.

I pull myself off of Nadei, trying to snuggle myself back to my side of the bed but he's not giving up so easily.

"Nicole. I want to know everything about your life. Tell me my love, who hurt who? Who left you? Who created you? Everything"

I look down at my hands and pull the bedsheets closer.
"What if.....what if you don't like what you hear?"

Nadei large gentle hands find my cheek and he turns me to face him. Tears already forming at the thought of reminiscing. My past is a memory, a chapter I closed a long time ago.

"There is nothing in this world that can stop me from feeling this pull I have towards you."

"Ok, you fucking smooth talker don't say I didn't warn you...." Nadei chuckles as I adjust myself preparing for my speech.

**WARNING THE FOLLOWING MAY CONTAIN SOME TRIGGERS FOR THOSE WHO SUFFERED ABUSE, DRUG ABUSE, OR ALCOHOLISM.**

"You know as a little girl you grow up thinking you have a perfect life. Perfect loving providing parents, siblings, big family. Then one day you realize the things you thought were normal.....are fucked up"

Nadei sits up further and I watch his eyes just stare at me. Clinging onto my every word.

"You start to remember certain things like a.....why is my dad always locked in his room with friends at all hours of the day. There's a lot of people coming in and out of our home....why did I use to hide in the closet so much when I was scared of something or....someone..." I pull my knees to my chest and wrap my arms around them.

"Certain smells trigger things for me. I never liked the smell of cigarettes, there's something about it that makes me gag. It....it just triggers me. Being called a little girl, disgusts me. My parents they had their demons and the people they brought around....they were the demons as well. I learned young enough who my father was, he ran the streets and everyone respected him and us. A little girl shouldn't know about the bad in the world so young, I shouldn't know that those "men" weren't friends but clients. I shouldn't fear someone coming into my room so I would hide."

My voice cracks and Nadei pulls me into his lap, but my knees are still glued to my chest.

"Moya Printsessa" he whispers while kissing my hair.

"As I got older I started to hide things from my parents, stealing money, stealing my dads' drug stash. I don't know maybe I was desperate for attention or maybe I wanted it all to stop? Soon I fell into having a completely second life. I was a good girl according to the books, my grades were fine, I didn't get into trouble in school, but by 13 I was drinking anything I could find and hiding it with the smell of peppermint gum. By 15 I was.....I was just a mess. Eventually, I spent more time at my grandparents than home, that was my true home. Then I lost them. I started to lose everyone, friends left, the family broke apart, no one was happy or faking it. Everything was about business. So I walked away and never looked back."

Nadei trails his fingers up and down my spine.

"Your parents & siblings my love. Whatever happened to them?"

I chuckle because I don't know. "After I lost my sister I left everything behind. I could care less, Ariana said they were dead but that's just what I told her. Because in my heart my whole family is dead and I'm alone. I have no one" I bring my hands to my face and the tears just combust.

I feel Nadei wrap his arms around me and squeezing.

"You will never be alone, as long as I am alive you will have me. Do you hear me, my love? I am your family, I will never leave your side. I need you as much as you need me."