The ice is Black

17| Ensaaf

The unsaid set of words
Finally slipped from the tongue
A feeling unexpressable,
A wish unfulfilled, a soul lost

I am making my way somewhere
where the pragmatic believes,
are replaced with the pessimism
Overtook by this nothingness

With this strange feeling of unwillingness
reality yells at me. While the truth
is caged behind the bars
this surrounds me with the emptiness

The words are too scarce to share
Just as the affection lost behind egos
and Just as the death that is ignored
while being too busy to live

Seeking justice
amongst the worldly illusions
I realized my sinful body
is too unjust to my soul

The peace was alwauys there, right inside me
Only if I set out to feed my soul
and not the body, I found that
I always knew solution to the inner turmoil

Justice for soul // Akasious

***
So, while you seek justice for your soul I’d like to tell you about my meeting with justice and I guess there is no need to greet you I am not in mood these days.
I met Justice the other day and we had a great discussion. It felt like I and Justice are old friends. I searched for her everywhere except the court room because I knew Justice could be found anywhere but not the court room. It’s always so rare to find her over there but to my amazement when I finally went to the court room she was sitting there, alone.
“Hey! girl I looked for you everywhere and you are here” I asked cheerfully walking near her.
“Oh! Really you should have looked here first anyway why were you looking for me?” replied justice carelessly.
“I wanted to meet you since I was upset about a recent case” I told sitting beside her.
“Which one?” she questioned changing her posture.
“Akgul’s rape case” I mentioned without hesitation. Humans are usually reluctant to speak out loud in the public what is true but I don’t think there is any shame in talking about what needs a word.
“Oh! Yes but don’t worry today is the final hearing of the trial” said Justice in a simple yet curious way. 
“Yes and what are you doing here? Is Akgul gonna get you” I asked intrigued by the ideology behind her words.
“May be yes. You got to wait and watch with me here during the case proceedings” she said as if she already knew the decision of the trial.
“Oh! Sure It’d be great you are served rarely in the court rooms. After ages I’d see this happening if this is so” I exclaimed with wonder.
“Stop humiliating me Life. Court room is my home and by saying this again and again that I am not found here you are portraying me as if I am some kind of cheap, bastard who wonders alone in the streets and has nothing and has never returned home in ages” she said angrily.
“No you are not. It’s humans that don’t make court rooms worth your presence and I am sorry if I hurt you” I replied concerned about her anger her wording for herself was harsh but to be honest whatever she said was true cent percent particularly if you visit third world countries.
“You are right perhaps but still I am found by the vistim’s side. When they cry facing injustice I cry with them, the injustice murdered me so many times  but you know what?” she asked.
“What?” I replied.
“Humans like Izzat Ameer keep me alive I am here today in the court room due to her” she said expressionlessly.
“Really? But Izzat is fighting the case against you, against Akgul” I remarked.
“No, you don’t know what I know you will learn that soon. I guess you were busy somewhere otherwise you would have known what Izzat is up to” said Justice taunting me.
“Yes I was in Pakistan meeting Culture, Tradition and Patriarchy” I informed her formally.
“Ewww...! They are the biggest enemies of me why did you go there?” she said with all the expressions of loath on her face.
“I just wanted to clear few things with them I am at good terms with them now” I said so that she may not say anything to worsen our conversation.
“Whatever I still hate them” she said not considering my response.
“It’s okay you can stick to your opinion about them I
won’t mind that” I said to end the baseless discussion about them.
“Wooo...! What a mature thought. Great to meet you Life” replied Justice expressing herself well.
“Anyway the judge is here let’s keep quite during the court proceedings” she said totally interested and involved in the court proceedings.
“Sure” I said.
***
The court proceedings commence formally and I started feeling sleepy as soon as it started. I told Justice I am taking a nap and then I don’t know when I slept for few minutes when I woke up this is what I see infront of me,
“So, Akgul how can you say that this guy is the rapist? Did you see his face?” Izzat is asking Akgul the victim who is standing in the witness stand.
Akgul shuts her eyes on this seemingly absurd question and barely speaks, “Yes. I clearly remember that this is the guy.”
“Why do you want to humiliate a respectable man in the society?” Izzat places another question when the prosecutor Hussain Jabeci stands up saying, “objection your owner she is going out of the way” the objection is however over ruled.
Akgul starts crying and Izzat feels evey cell inside her breaking. What is she doing? Has she gone mad? If she has planned to loose the case anyway why is she humiliating her?she reflects but gathers up courage to go on with her job she has to give up but not so without playing the villain card well, “you have no words right? Every liar is found silent when asked for truth” she remarks. Akgul sobs.
“Look at me girl. Speak if you have something better to prove your point” she says but Akgul keeps looking down the earth. She can’t look at the criminal standing infront of her.
“That’s all my Lord” Izzat says without presenting all the false proofs she had with her. Guller Sbanci and her son is stunned what she is doing exactly?
“Why didn’t you present that audio which we provided you?” says Guller Sbanci leaning on the balustrade.
“I don’t find it a solid proof. It’s inappropriate and an utter piece of shit and please sit down court is not over yet” replies Izzat carelessly.
“But they will decide against my son today if you don’t defend properly” says Guller Sabanci angrily.
“It’s ok we still have right to appeal” says Izzat even more uninterested in whatever she says.
Akgul’s lawyer stands up and goes near Akgul.
“So what was the time approximately when this guy entered your store?” he asks.
“8:00 PM” Akgul replies.
“What were you doing there” he again drops a question.
“I was packing up to leave for home” she replies.
“You run a little grocery store right?” he asks politely.
“Yes” she says.
“So many people in the town know you as well” he again adds.
“Yes” she responds.
‘They are with full preparation’ I said to justice.
‘Unhun Izzat Ameer is with full preparation in real her plans are smooth and pragmatic always.’ replied Justice and I kept quite ‘I really know nothing’ I thought.
“Did anyone see this guy entering your store that day?” asks Hussain Jabeci.
“I don’t know” she replies.
“He ever came before?” he asks.
“Many times” she replies confidently. She fears Izzat more than any woman on the earth. She hesitates looking at her. Such a beautiful, blonde, curly haired witch she is to her.
“He harassed you?” he again asks.
“Yes many times” she replies truthfully.
“In which part of the store you were present when the guy...?” he knowingly leaves the sentence incomplete.
“Basement. I was in the basement. I have only one worker in the store she was ill that day and I was alone in the store. I went there to place goods” she replies boldly.
“okay. Is there any CCTV camera in the store?” he questions again.
“No, not in the main entrance but yes in the basement” she replies clearly.
“Why is there camera in the basement?” he again asks.
“To avoid pilferage” she replies.
“Ohkay thankyou Miss Akgul. So Mr. Arsalan Sabanci” the lawyer turns with his harsh tone towards the suspect.
“Where were you at 8:00 PM on Thursday night?” he asks roughly.
“I was at gym” he replies baffeled.
“Gym?” prosecutor repeats.
“Yes gym as a matter of routine” Arsalan Sabanci replies.
“Oh! Any proof?” he asks.
“yes, you can check the entries at The Builders Gym on thursday” he says as a ready made cover story that he is provided by Izzat earlier.
“But one of the honest worker at The Builders gym says that due to renovation work the gym was close for three days including Thursday” asks the prosecutor.
“He must have some misunderstanding” replies Arsalan Sabanci looking at Izzat as if she will stand up and save him but everyone including me in the court can see that Izzat is not really interested in saving him.
“My lord many regular guys at gym are of the same opinion as we heard them in the last hearing. I have recorded few more statements in the video as well that I have provided to the court along with the CCTV photage of the basement on thursday 8:00 to 10:00 PM” says the lawyer as the Judge nods.
***
The video is played in the court room while Guller Sbanci leaves the room and the Akgul’s lawyer sits down saying,
“That’s all from my side”
“Very well done. I appreciate your professional skills” Izzat says to his colleague as he sits by her side.
“Thank you for helping me get that photage and stuff otherwise they had almost destroyed all the proofs. If you had no approach it would have been impossible” says Hussain jadeci to Izzat Ameer.
“The pleasure is all mine just don’t tell the girl. I want her to feel the victory” says Izzat.
The court room is full of buzzing voices like honey bees when the judge shouts order, order and says “Decision has been preserved and will be announced within an hour. The court is dismissed for now” and they all stand up to move out.
As Izzat moves out of the court room Guller Sabanci come near her and almost raises her hand to slap her in the face when Izzat holds her hand tight and speaks, “I never said that I’ll win it for you Mrs. Sabanci. You came to me and I accepted the case. I tried, and I failed and that’s what I have done all through my life. I never hesitate failing particularly when failure is the real victory”
“You bitch you ruined me and my son” Guller Sbanci yells at her.
“It’s ok you and your son will do better ultimately but that girl could have lost everything if she losses this case” Izzat replies as bold as she could.
***
The very next day Elif wakes up late. She and Adam Sbanci slept after Fajar prayer near 5:00 AM. Adam offered prayer but Elif went to sleep. Elif woke up in the afternoon followed by a bad dream.
“You okay daughter?” Adam says standing by her room door.
“Ah! Yes I don’t know when the night mares will leave me” she says straightening up on the bed as if Adam knows all her past.
“It’s afternoon daughter so you can say afternoon-mares” he chuckles while Elif laughs that how on her serious remarks he switches her mood back to delight. This man is real angel, the way he makes her laugh is simply amazing.
“You know?” she says.
“No I don’t know?” he replies.
“I wish I had a father like you. I wish I had met you before. You are so kind. All through my life I felt the dire absence of men figures. No father... No brother... And now no husband...” she says leaving the bed and folding the blanket.
“It’s alright daughter you have me now. I also had a dire need of a daughter and now God has answered my prayers. Look I have you now” he smiles and adds,
“Anyway your afternoon breakfast is ready. Come, fresh up and have it” he again mentions ‘afternoon’ sarcastically.
“Sure. Thank you. Just gimme a minute” she replies with a smile and moves to her bag to take out a good outfit. She changes her dress while Adam Sbanci goes back into the living room.
She freshes up and changes her dress. She enters the living room wearing blue jeans white shirt, red jacket and red scarf around her neck. The television is on in the living room and Adam Sbanci is reading the newspaper. He signals her to the table where he has placed lunch already. He folds the newspaper and keep it aside.
He sits infront of her on the little table. The blanket is still spread and the hearth is lit. The living room is warm and comforting. It’s the last week of December and winter is at its peak.
“Izzat Ameer is again on the headlines” he murmurs while watching the television sitting infront of her. She doen’t respond. She knows nothing about news and Izzat Ameer.
Izzat Ameer is not that famous among common people but those who follow news regularly, know her. As she is found in the headlines even after twenty years since she left Palestine because she never left speaking for the cause of Palestine.
“You don’t kow her?” asks Adam observing her silence.
“No” she replies briefly leaving the salad she was eating for a while.
“Oh! You want to know?” asks Adam Sbanci putting the sweet dish infront of her.
“Sure. I don’t think there is any harm in knowing about her” she replies as sarcastically the way Adam is.
“Well she has two introductions one is a public intro and the other is personal. Which one you would like to hear first?” Asks Adam Sbanci all set to share stuff about Izzat.
“I don’t know. Personal I guess” she replies.
“Okay so here it is. She is Derin’s best friend or you can say just friend. When she moved to Turkey with her son after losing her daughter and husband about twenty years back she took help from Derin for residence and stuff” he explains.
“Derin and I were in States so Derin asked her to stay at her parents home in Ankara. Derin’s parents had passed away by then in a tragic car accident and the home was empty” he paused.
“She stayed there with her six years old son until she found her own place and started earning. I don’t remember her as my student but I must say she is a brave lady.” he stops and Elif signals her to keep going. She is now completely engrossed in Izzat’s story.
“She raised her little son alone and the guy is an amazing human he keeps visiting me here. He is courteous and generous more than his mother. May be Izzat is a little cold as time has not been fair to her but I know she is a kind soul inside just harsh outside” Adam says and takes a glass of water as he puts the glass aside Elif asks, “What happened to her husband?”
“He was subjected to two life sentences in Israeli Jail but news is he has been freed recently. Still he has not approached his family. They have now real big differences and may be they would never like to meet Asad Ameer but I feel pity for him he is innocent. He is just portrayed as a killer in the media but atleast his family should understand that he is no killer” explains Adam. He is a great story teller in his own.
“Interesting. Well this story is so heart wrenching exile, helplessness, lifelessness, and death and what not this family has faced every worst thing possible in this one life” Elif remarks.
“Yes” Adam responds getting attentive to the television again.
“That’s why I really respect Izzat Ameer and her son. When Derin passed away they were the only two kind souls we knew in Turkey who received her body here in Istanbul since I had some visa and ticket issues so I arrived a day later. They travelled all the way from Ankara to mourn Derin’s death. They are really good human beings” Adam says after a while Elif was about to say something when he further adds,
“These days Izzat is in the news. Actually my Sister Guller Sabanci’s son Arsalan Sabanci is said to be involved in all kinds of criminal activities. I am not in contact with my sister very much. She is a politician and has good name in Ankara” he so truthfully introduces this dark introduction of his sister and her son that she thinks for an instant that he is too naive to do so.
“Oh! I know her. I heard her name once or twice when I was studying there and I remember she is not famous in Ankara. She is actually notorious for so many things” says Elif considering there is nothing bad in speaking the truth she knows since Adam is being really honest with her.
“Great..! Sad to know but I am not at good speaking terms with my sister. She didn’t even come when my wife passed away. Her son who is involved in gambling, alcohol and street crimes raped a girl few months back. Now the girl filed a case and media hype occured. Guller Sabanci took the case to Izzat Ameer and now Izzat Ameer is prosecuting the case” Adam stops for a while.
“And Izzat accepted it? I mean how come she do that?” Asks Elif creating the worst possible image of Izzat Ameer in her mind.
“Yes I knew she will accept it but...” replies Adam leaving the sentence in the middle.
“Pardon but I am hating the lady now” remarks Izzat.
“unhun dont hate her. First it’s her job. I am a law teacher and I know how it works. Second she might have other intentions behind it who knows” he explains.
“Still there should be ethics and moral values in every profession” replies Elif with immense hate for Izzat.
“You are right dsughter but trust me I am sure Izzat must have some solid reason to do so. We can’t say anything until the case is over” he adds.
“The point is she took the case which she shouldn’t have” she says briefly.
“Right still if you follow the proceedings till the end you will find out valid reasons behind it. The decision is going to be revealed soon today so stay tuned” Says Adam .
“Anyway leave it. Guess what?” says Adam observing her mood swings.
“What?” asks Elif.
“Her son is here in Istanbul. He met me the other day and has invited me on the symposium tonight. He is among one of the chief guests. I guess you should come with me. He is a competent psychologist you will love meeting him and his amazing ideologies” says Adam.
“Symposium?” repeats Elif finding it absolutely boring.
“Yes symposium or better if I say an international conference on Peace, Humanitarian aid and service” he tries to make it interesting for her.
“Topic is interesting. I a humanities student at Ankara Universtity and I like this kinda thought provoking topics” she says
“So you promise me that you will come” says Adam with childish innocence.
“Sure, I’d love to join you but I have to return home I am tired since I came from India yesterday. Now I want to go back home. I’d stay intouch with you and will try to catch up tonight but for now I gotta go.” Explains Elif.
“Sure its ok you can go back and take rest and I am always here to listen if you want to share anything just know that I’ll help you like a father” says Adam Sabanci with fatherly affection.
“Thank you very much father” she smiles and stands up.
“For what?” he asks.
“For making me believe in humanity again” she replies and turns to her room to take the luggage.
He pats on her head out of kindness and affection before she leaves.
***
She enters her big home. She is feeling better than before. Hatim is finally off her mind for sometime. She never knew it will happen so instantly.
As she finally finds time to take a look on her cell phone she finds Irem’s text that were more than fifty in number.
In few older texts she was asking about her well being. In the recent texts she was telling her about an international conference taking place in Istanbul. She was finally going to attend it. She said she has met AdAm once or twice in Ankara and that she adores his ideology. She would be finally there in the conference presenting her research work infront of his ideal personality.
Elif feels strange about the conference. Is it this huge a personality? She just refused to take interest that Adam mentioned?
After thinking for a while she types back:
That’s great I am here too in Istanbul just returned yesterday.
You can come and stay at my place.
In dire need of a meeting with you.
I’ll love to attend the conference with you.
On the other side when Irem receives her texts she feels amazed to know about her return but there is angre too that she didn’t inform her about her return. I will ask her once she reach Istanbul she thinks.
***
Miles away in Frankfurt Germany Aron writes back an email to his ideal, role model and savior:
Dear AdAm,
I hope this email finds you well. I am so pleased to have your response finally. Here is my side of the story. I killed my own father for all those innocent lives he kept taking away. I don’t know if it was a psychological trauma or what but I really killed my own father by adding poison to his meal.
He would have killed that innocent prisoner who is now more than a father to me if I hadn’t killed him. Sooner after the post mortem reports my mother realized it was me behind his death. My mother had so many years of marriage with him but she never loved him it was just a relation she was dragging.
She was an amzing mother. She loved me more than anyone on Earth. She sent me out of country and when here the military and police was so desperate to find the murderer behind my father’s death and two big suspects were me and my mother. She accepted the crime in the court room that she never comitted.
I had visa issues and I couldn’t return Israel before an year. She was subjected to assasination. I couldn’t go back to my normal life after that but your words, your articles and videos have made me feel like anything is possible. Moving on is always an option.
I want to meet you in person someday and would love to thank you for bringing me back to life.
May God bless you.
Regards
Aron.
The email is open infront of him on the bright desktop screen. He is in Istanbul and is spending his time before the conference night in reading and replying back to emails people keep sending him. He always has hundreds of emails piled up and he neveer spares a minute when he is not helping random people.
In these few years of experience, dealing so many clients offline and online he first time felt a strange sense of attachment to this guy. He found someone’s tragedy relatable to his or may be even bigger than his own. For the first time he felt like he wants to meet his client. For the first time he felt so blessed that really? really? His words and capabilities are good enough to help people move on such huge tragedies?
He starts writing back. He rarely types back large texts to his clients because he remains too busy to do so but he could not refrain himself from helping this guy.
Dear Aron,
The world is an illusion where everything is pron to decay except two things, God and the one God would like to keep alive.
Everything meets the end, decays into absolute nothingness whether it’s relations, goals, desires, dreams, and life but what retains is you and the intensity of your belief in God.
Believe and the world is never going to fall apart for you. Let yourself get lost in gratitude for things you have. Prepare yourself to always embrace goodbyes no matter how hard it is.
Aspire to inspire because at the end of the day that one thing you are whining over is a thing that was never supposed to happen so, it didn’t happen and it has no right to ruin your day, your month, your year and your life.
I’d very much love to meet a livor like you. All through my life I have met survivors and I have been converting survivors into Livors. You know what livor is? ‘One who lives’.
Live, not survive. Remember I meet livors with pleasure and honor while I only sympathise with the survivors and that’s how the world is. Be a livor and the world will feel imense pleasure in celebrating you and your victories. I hope when you next time try reaching out to me you may be an amzing version of a Livor and we would share a cup of coffee.
Regards,
-AdAm
***
Asad lands in Istanbul instead of Ankara. He couldn’t find tickets for Ankara so he accepted Istanbul as a good option. Aron is well off with so much his family left behind for him and Asad is travelling to meet his family on Aron’s expense.
Aron is such a kind human that he never made him realize how he has been helping him for such a long time but Asad used to feel it regardless. Asad wants to do this favor for Aron. He wants to surprise him by taking AdAm’s autograph for him atleast he could do this little for him. He didn’t know how he would manage to reach him but he wants to give it a try.
So he asks a passanger about AdAm in the passanger’s lounge and to his surprise the passanger is there in Istanbul to attend the same conference. She is a young girl in her early twenties and she says that today she is passionate and ambitious and what not due to that guy AdAm. His talks motivated her to evolve into something from nothing she told him.
“but its not easy to enter the conference like that. Are you registered?” She asks taking a sip of tea.
“No,” he replies.
“Then how will you enter? And oh! what are you doing here?” she questions.
“Can’t I get registered now? Ummm I just sat here to rest a while before moving ahead” he replies her both questions in a row.
“I don’t know may be if someone is absent they can accomodate you or if you have a strong reference or else it’s real hard.” she explains ignoring his response to the second question.
“oh! I travelled all the way from Palestine to meet AdAm” he says disapointingly.
“Really?” she turns to him with a jerk and notices his hand shaking.
“What happened to your hand?” she again asks.
He immediately moves it “oh nothing serious just tremers at rest” he murmurs.
“It’s okay you don’t worry we will find a way. It’s Irem’s promise to you” she says standing up after finishing the tea she was taking. She is a crazy tea lover.
“Thank you. I’ll be really grateful to you” he replies standing beside her.
“Why don’t you come with me at my friend’s place? She is really hospitable. She lives alone in the big house. her mother passed away about a month ago and she got married to an Indian guy about two weeks ago. Love marriage you know...” she winks and narrates so many things about Elif not knowing she got divorce two days ago.
Asad doesn’t really know where he is going to stay so he partly agrees saying, “I can have meal with you girls but what a middle aged man will do among two young girls. I’ll leave after the meal”
“Choice is yours but I promise you will love Elif’s company” she says in a friendly manner.
“Let’s get going conference will start within four hours and it’s 2:00 PM already” says Irem looking at her wrist watch.
“Sure” Asad follows her.
“You know I and Elif are friends for four years. She is such an amazing girl. She loves rubix cube and guitar” Irem again starts talking about Elif. It’s evident that she is quite excited about her meeting with her BFF for the first time after her marriage. They are now outside the airport looking for taxi.
Irem is about to speak something when Asad stops a taxi and takes her luggage to put inside the taxi.
After sitting in the taxi Irem starts speaking again. When she finds out Asad is not very much interested in whatever she is saying she finally asks, “why are you so quiet? Why don’t you tell anything about yourself?”
“I have nothing to share.” Asad replies staring outside the window
“Really? You are here for AdAm only?” she again asks amazed.
“No, I am here to meet my family in Ankara” he replies truthfully.
“Why your hand is shaking so badly? You have some disease?” she asks unable to help herself ignoring that.
“I don’t know never got it checked” he replies carelessly.
“Then get it checked” she says forcefully like an elderly woman that makes Asad smile.
“I am tired can we stay mute for sometime?” he says  closing his eyes while resting his back and his neck on the seat.
Irem looks at him I have seen him somewhere but where? She reflects.
May be I am just being stupid. There is immense sadness in his personality don’t know what’s his sorrow. She keeps thinking about him until the taxi stops right in front of Elif’s place.
***
Elif opens the door and welcomes her warmly. They hug each other tight for fair five minutes when she finds Asad standing by the door.
“Ummm Irem?” asks Elif as Iem is moving inside her house carelessly absolutely forgetting she brought Asad with her.
“Yes?” Irem turns and her eyes cross Asad standing by the door and she immediately feels immense embarassement, “Oh! So sorry Elif this is Asad, Asad this is Elif. Elif if you don’t mind I wanna tell you he is a Palestinian and has travelled all the way from Palestine to attend this conference. I offered him to come with me” Irem explains filled with embarassement.
“Oh! That’s great. Come. Come in. it’s my pleasure having you here” she says as Asad finally walks in embarassed and confused. I shouldn’t have come here he thinks.
“Please make yourself at home...” Elif adds and shows him the way inside.
“Please sit and let me know what would you like to have? Tea or coffee?”
“Nothing” replies Asad sitting on the couch. He is feeling restless.
“Water?” Elif asks looking at him baffeled.
“No” he almost lays down on the couch.
“Hey! You can take rest in the guest room. Get up” says Elif while Irem returns from Elif’s room after getting fresh.
“Oh! No, what happened?” asks Irem Ayan.
“I guess he is sick and really tired” says Elif and adds, “help me take him to the bed” she lifts him up on her shoulders and Asad half concious tries to walk with their support while Irem accompanies her and they take him to the bed room ah! Poor Asad. His condition is worsening everyday.
“Where did you find him?” asks Elif silently coming out after closing the guest room door.
“Long story short, on the airport” says Irem sitting on the couch.
“What? And you took him here” Elif’s mouth flew open.
“Again long story short he is here to attend the conference all the way from Palestine. He is a big fan of AdAm and he wants to get his autograph” says Irem adjusting her hair pin.
“Seriously? He is an elderly man and he is AdAm’s fan?” asks Elif amazed.
“Yes that’s what I felt by his words and AdAm is famous among all age groups” says Irem carelessly and adds, “Heyyyyy! You idiot you didn’t tell me that you are here. You are such a mean bitch. Tell me everything about your trip to India. how were your days there?” she keeps on placing questions and Elif felt as if someone has thrown the worst part of her life that she was pretending to move on right in her face again.
She is speechless and a lump of tears has again gathered in her throat not knowing what to say. She is making and rejecting sentences in her brain when the door bell rings. Elif finds it an exceptional escape from Irem’s questions and stands up saying “I’ll see”
It’s almost 2:00 PM when Elif opens the door and finds a post man standing there. After few minutes Irem comes out behind her when Elif doesn’t return.
“What’s there Elif?” asks Irem behind Elif. She sooner finds Elif crying with a document and she snatches it from Elif’s hand saying, “What’s wrong with you? Why are you crying?”
Readind the document Irem is stunned. In sheer disbelief she hugs Elif who is sobbing and whining like a three years old.
***
After an hour Elif is looking a little better. She is not crying anymore. It is just a divorce paper, divorce she already got why is it upsetting her now? she thinks. She has narrated every single bit regarding what happened to her in India still hiding her past inside her. She thinks her past is also humiliating and painful and no one deserves to hear her story until she finds a human being who will understand her grief without sympathising with her.
Irem is speechless that how did she bear all this humiliation and how come she took divorce from a guy who so very badly wanted to be with her.
“Elif, I can’t believe you how can one little fragile body bear so much all alone and still look so composed like you? If I were you I’d have broken into million pieces by now” says Irem resting her back on the couch in disbelief she is grieved to hear that. Imense grief like a true friend.
“I am so, so sorry to hear this all and Hatim..! He is such a bastard” says Irem and Elif keeps listening. She is deprived of words and tears. Feeling of nothingness is taking control of her all over again.
“You know what do I wish now for you Elif? May you find someone really better than Hatim and I’d invite him on your behalf to your marriage I want to see him feel the agony, you felt that day when his mother humiliated you. I want revenge.” says Irem filled with hatered for him.
“I don’t want to take revdenge Irem it’s not Hatim’s fault. He is still in my good books. Look he left me like a gentleman atleast and he provided me with every facility to travel from India to Istanbul” says Elif  well somewhere deep inside her she still loves him.
“Yes, he left you like a gentle man but couldn’t live with you like that oh! Come on Elif there is nothing gentle in not being able to protect your betterhalf.” says Irem angrily but Elif doesn’t respond she is again feeling like crying when she adds,
“Anyway if you get married again and may you find a better person than him please do invite him. I want to capture his face on the ceremoney” says Irem looking at Elif.
“Ah! You are a good friend Irem you were right about that instant marriage and my decision to leave for India” says Elif switching the topic from her second marriage since she has no plans to get married ever again.
“I never wanted my words to be true for you” replies Irem and she means it.
“Anyway your conference is within two hours let’s get ready” says Elif observing that Irem’s excitement for the conference has vanished after hearing her tragedy.
“I don’t want to go anywhere. I’d spend time with you here” says Irem all gloomy and upset.
“You can spend time with me in the conference as well I am coming with you. You should not miss this chance afterall you adore AdAm this much” says Elif now it’s time for her to be a good friend.
“But how will you enter? Have you registered already?” asks Irem.
“I have a reference so you don’t worry just let’s get ready we got to enjoy tonight” replies Elif excited.
“Sure Elif? Can you use that reference for Asad as well?” asks Irem standing up to get ready.
“Oh! Sure I can ask but he has not registered either?” asks Elif.
“Yes but he wants to go” replies Irem.
“He is such a mysterious character but anyway I don’t think he is going. He seems really ill” says Elif looking at Irem when a voice from behind Elif says,
“I am going I’ll be really grateful if you help me get in” says Asad standing tall and well dressed.
“Wow” says Irem unintentionally but Asad is looking such a well dressed, good looking man despite age he is handsome and dapper.
“Sure I’ll do that you don’t worry Asad and how are you?” asks Elif hesitatingly whether to call him by name or not but then she just says what she finds right.
“I am good as you can see” he says with a grave serious smile well placed on his amazing personality.
Both the girls excused him to get ready.
Elif rushes inside the room with Irem and says closing the door, “is that right to call him by name?” Elif almost whispers.
“It’s absolutely right. I mean how can we call him other than his name? Such a good looking, handsome man just ignore his shaking hand” says Irem with a childish chuckle as Elif laughs.
After nearly forty five minutes they are ready to leave. Asad is totally unimpressed and ignorant of their preparations. He doesn’t even give a pleasant smile when they arrive and are ready to leave.
Irem is wearing white top, white bottoms and red coat while Elif is wearing black jeans and maroon shirt with her black high heals and black head scarf. Elif is sober and decent while Irem is looking gorgeous and elegant both are their own version of feminine beauty.
Elif makes a call after sitting in the taxi. “Hello! Father” she says as soon as Adam picks the call.
“Yes I have just left home I have a guest from Palestine with me can you help both of us to enter?” Elif tells the whole thing.
“Yess daughter there is no problem. I am already here waiting for your arrival” says the pleasant voice on the other end.
Asad is staring outside the window. He is sitting at the front seat beside the driver while the girls took the back seat. He is clean shaved and his solemn demeanor speaks volumes about his amazing personality.
The car stops infront of the Royal Ciragan Palace hotel. The hotel building is huge and beautiful. Asad looks up to it and couldn’t help loving the mesmerizing beauty. As they move forward the ciragan Palace historical gate and the Ciragan Palace outdoor pool captured Asad’s attention and Asad couldn’t take his eyes off this beauty.
“Asad, Adam is waiting near the pool with the chief guest of the conference. Let’s get going. He spared a few minutes for us. You can take the autograph as well. Do you have a pen and paper” asks Elif moving swiftly with her high heels.
“Nnn-no” says Asad baffeled.
“Oh! It’s ok Elif I have it. After all it’s my presentation today and I am well prepared” replies Irem and adds “I just can’t believe we are gonna meet AdAm in person wowww. Elif where did you find this amazing human I can’t believe now we have a direct reference to meet AdAm any time” says Irem excited.
“Wait I am confused” Asad finally speaks moving beside the girls who are talking non stop.
“About what?” asks Elif.
“About Adam. You both are talking about Adam but I guess they are two different people” says Asad confused about his own statement.
“Yes you got us right. The Adam I am talking about is like my father. I met him yesterday for the first time. He has good family terms with the AdAm who is the chief guest” explains Elif as they are approaching near the pool.
“What? You met him only yesterday and he is your father?” Asad is even more confused these girls are realluy confusing.
“Long story save it for later” replies Elif with her steady pace towards the pool.
“Wait I’d like to clear you both one more thing. AdAm who has a great fan following has a real name which I don’t remember. Infact no one knows him by his real name. This name AdAm is his signature mark which is in real the abbreviation of his real name. He says this everywhere I’ll try asking him tonight whats his real name” says Irem with excitement.
“Whoa! Great, look there I can see its’s Adam” says Elif waving towards him.
“Yayy I can also see there is AdAm” Irem almost yells as Asad narrows his eyes at her. She calms down and says, “I mean the young AdAm whom you wanna meet.”
“I am here to take his autograph for one of my loved one otherwise I am not interested in this freaking AdAm” Asad is now annoyed listening so much about this guy from Irem.
Elif hugs the old Adam while Adam showers the fatherly affection on her while Irem immediately gets to catch AdAm.
“Uhun” AdAm says looking at all of them clearing his throat, “Okay uncle I gotta go inside. See you there”
“Aaahaha sure son sure I’ll see you around” replies Adam unaware of the autograph stuff.
“Wait” yells Asad. He is not interested to wait for him in the entire conference he want to leave if he gets the autograph.
“Who is this guy?” asks Adam while AdAm junior turns to listen.
“Yes” says AdAm.
“I want your autograph if you don’t mind” says Asad hesitating despite he is double than AdAm’s age. Adam notices his shaking hand.
AdAm returns and comes near him. Asad feels a sense of attachement to him but he fails to understand what is that. AdAm also looks at him as if trying to recall where he has seen this man but fails to relate his face with anyone he knows.
“I guess I have seen him somewhere” says the old Adam when AdAm junior asks him for the pen and a paper.
He asks, “name please”
“To Aron” says Asad.
AdAm stops for a while before writing and looks up to him and then to the pen and paper. He thinks if he is the same Aron who emailed him the other day? But he doesn’t question and writes,
Dear Aron,
Truth will unveil itself, only if you try to unfold yourself.
-AdAm
Elif reads the autograph standing by Asad’s side and feels impressed with AdAm. He is as young as she is but he has achieved more than she ever wanted to achieve.
“Hey! With due respect what does your signature AdAm means?” Elif couldn’t help asking and Irem is amazed that she is now finally finding him as important as she found an year ago.
“Ah! I am getting late but since you are...” he stops when he sees Asad moving back to leave but he doesn’t question anything. Asad is moving slowly.
“Hell-ooo you were telling us something” says Irem
“Yes, so I was saying... Wait you are the airport girl I guess. I don’t forget faces” asks AdAm looking at Elif.
“Oh! yes may be I don’t remember you” says Elif.
“Anyway you were telling about your signature” says Irem when AdAm observes Asad returning who has just taken a few steps away from them but he again ignores him.
“Ah! Your ballpen” says Asad to Irem and again returns.
“Well My real name is Adham Ameer” Asad’s feet cease but he hears him saying further, “My signature and popular name is Ad-Am which is in real the first two letters of my first name and the sur name” Adham frequently explains and turns to the main hall.
Asad immediately turns to see him but he has gone away far, far away. Asad’s tears are dry. He wants to see his son again, and again, and again he turns to the girls and changes his plan to leave. Now he would attend the conference in hope that he is his son.
“Hey! Young man” says old Adam to Asad.
“Yes” Asad hardly replies in a state of trance. Girls have moved forward and Asad immediately decides he won’t reveal his identity for now as people may recognize him.
“Won’t you come inside?” asks old Adam
“Yes sure” replies Asad and starts walking with him.
“So, where are you from?” Adam asks now he has got another victim for his never ending talks and tales.
“Palestine” replies Asad unconciously.
“Amazing coincidence. you know what you look so much like Asad Ameer” says Adam “Do you know him? He is a famous Palestinian activist” says Adam.
“Yes I know him replies Asad but he is a criminal now” says Asad to hear his opinion about himself.
“No, no, no you should not speak like that about him” says Adam.
“But why? He killed his own brother” Asad insists so that he can hear anything he would like to say about him.
“Impossible I don’t believe this story. There must be something really big behind it that made him do that. I really adore Asad Ameer” says Adam simply. Asad realizes that he has a fan base too, that he is not only notorious he got fame.
“But he is such a coward, he is hiding” says Asad he keeps placing every hurting statement he heard about himself after getting freed from the jail.
“Yes here I second you. You know his family really misses him. As you are also Adham’s fan I’d like to tell you a secret Adham doesn’t speak about it very often in public” says Adam.
“What’s that?” asks Asad really curious to know about his son look how pathetic is that for Asad Ameer he has to learn and understand about his own son from others.
“He is Asad Ameer’s son” Adam whispers while taking his seat in the big seminar hall filled with people.
“Oh! Really unbelieveable” now Asad is really enjoying being unknown to this innocent old man. I’ll tell him everything later after all he adores me Asad thinks.
“Yes and trust me you look so much like Asad Ameer. May Asad returns Istanbul soon. His wife has grown so lifeless and old without him. She desperately misses him everyday” says Adam as if he really feels for Izzat and her grief and this hits Asad hard but he stays silent. If this is so why doesn’t she speaks good about him in the public. Why she never defends him on the inteviews. Why? Why? Why? He keeps thinking and fails to understand.
***
Irem’s presentation went well and at the end when Adham is invited on the stage the hall has lot of love and affection to shwoer on him with a huge round of applause,
Adham holds the mic facing the audience. He never feels short of words neither he is feeling anything like that now and Asad? Asad doesn’t know how to react. How to feel this. How he came all the way from Plaestine prepared for every moment and everything that could happen here in Turkey but he never prepared himself for a moment like this.
After the applause setteled Adham starts speaking softly,
In the name of Allah who is the most merciful and the most beneficient.
Though most of you know me tell you I am Adham Ameer graduated and specialised in psychology. On this gracious occasion where we discussed so many things regarding peace, humanities and mental health I’d like to share words straight from the heart. I rarely prepare speeches by the way. He smiles and gives a brief pause. The aura in his personality and the air his presence on the stage created in the hall has mesmerizing tranquility to offer.
Elif is looking at him and he first time finds herself loving not the face, not the physique, the body but the soul, the soulful voice, the personality that contains truth. She is loving so much about this guy and can’t help praising, “He is amazing Irem”
“Told ya” says Irem winking at her.
It’s year 2034, and years ago Daniel Kahneman said in his book Thinking fast and slow, ‘We can be blind to the obvious, and we are blind to our own blindness’
I have been pondering on this statement recently and I find it so interestingly put together that I’d like to share that here. I hope you don’t feel bored with my discussion. Says Adham looking at his cheerful audience.
Nooo..! A gush of loud voice comes from the audience.
Well. He smiles and continues back to this statement I’d like to explain a little that we human beings know very little and so with this little or no knowledge for which we spend years to acquire makes us blind to our own blindness.
The day you consider that your knowledge is sufficient and you are well equiped is the day your soul dies. Don’t be blind to your own blindness.
Now, the first part of the statement says we are blind to the obvious. There are hundreds of things that happen in a day and what do we do? Do we take notice of every single thing that is obvious? No we don’t. In real we can’t. So we are blind to the obvious. We don’t bother that obvious blessing we are having for years until it disappears. We remain blind to it when it is there.
As a psychologist, a counsellor and trainer I’d like to tell you people today that life is once and for all, feel the obvious blessings, feel your life as a blessing too. Stop whining over your losses. We all have tragedies, regrets and sins but this world involves the survival of the fittest. The better you carry your weight, the better you carry your burden, the better you are.
I don’t believe in the modern day ideology that sympathises with the survivors saying ‘we are proud of you. You are a survivor’
Though surviving is hard too but, there is nothing worth appreciating in a survivor’s survival story. It was not his/ her freaking choice it’s just that he/she was destined to survive. Do all those survivors you feel pity for and get inspired to are livors too? He smiles and again gives a brief pause.
Living is an art, living is your choice. Surviving is no art and it’s no choice. So next time you meet a survivor please see are they livors too? How much they spend time in being happy and motivating others towards happy life by their actions and doings. See, are they actually living or are they just proud of their survival, blind to their own blindness they themselves don’t know there is nothing big in surviving.
Your choice comes where you choose to live, where your smile is wider despite all those tragedies, where your biggest fear is hurting someone despite all what you have faced yourself.
You all are survivors but are you actually living? When we talk about humanity are you actually helping people out of their tragedies by first choosing to live yourself? When we talk about peace have you discovered it inside you?
I leave these questions upto you and I hope you won’t take my words forgranted.
As soon as he stops the huge round of applause again surrounds him but Elif doesn’t clap. She is in a state of trance that how beautifully someone could show her directions to the right path? How beautifully someone without feeling pity for her could motivate her to do better.
And I adore Adham so much he is worth this respect and love. He deserves that because he aprreciates me. He really accepts me as a blessing.
***
One thing that remained in Adham’s mind even after the event was over is the fact that when he was leaving the stage he notices a man leaving his seat and standing up to clap for him.
He was the one whom he gave his autograph. This was the most he knew about him still he seemed to be the happiest soul in the hall.
“Look at my boy he nailed it like always” says old Adam.
Adham is now encircled with a huge group of people gathered to ask questions and take autographs most of whom were girls.
“Look at him I guess even rock stars don’t have this huge fan following the way he has earned as a psychologist” says Elif moving out of the big hall.
“True that” replies Irem walking behind her.
***
Asad stands up to leave when Adam invites him to his place. Asad wants to ignore it. He wants to go away from everyone but he can’t do any of it. He has to stay composed. The misery is about to over he thinks and agrees to join Adam at his place for tonight.
Adam says invites the girls and Adham as well so that they can have a great dinner like a family at his little, cozy place. It’s 10:00 PM. The girls immediately agreed but Adham seems busy.
He is barely getting anytime to spare for himself. Still surrounded by people. “Let’s get going. I have dropped several texts for Adham. If he finds time to see, he would not refuse otherwise it’s ok I can understand my son is busy” says Adam moving near to his little yellow car.
“Son?” asks Asad in bewilderment and an extreme sense of posession.
“Yes we have family terms. My wife and his mother were friends. He is such a well mannered chap. I call him son. I once said to him you can call me ‘father’ but he smiled back saying, ‘I’d love to but I can’t give this title to anyone except my biological father’.  I love him for this bold and blunt attitude. He has nothing to do with hypocrisy” Adam keeps on speaking if you ask him something but Asad is loving his talkative nature because he is telling him everything he wants to know. Adam is the old man deprived of people, good talks and discussions so when he talks he talks too much.
All four of them arrived at Adam’s place tired yet cheerful. Asad is feeling good too.
It’s 11:00 PM and Adam went straight into the kitchen to serve them hot steaks and bread crums with soup and salad. They all ate to their fill but Adham didn’t arrive during the dinner.
“I guess he is busy he won’t come” says Adam quite upset. H loves many people around him. He loves guests. He loves when people arrive at his place.
“It’s ok Father” Elif immediately gives him few comforting words.
“Though it’s not ok that he is not here atleast for me still I am tired and I want to sleep” says Irem boldly standing up, yawning.
“Sure daughter you can sleep over there with Elif while I and Aron will share my bedroom” says Adam immediately.
Asad looks at him thinking the girls would notice the name he took but they didn’t bother. Irem seemed really tired and Elif is busy in collecting dishes from the table.
Irem and Asad went to sleep while Elif helped Adam in doing the  dishes. They again talked a lot when Adam finally says,
“It’s 12:30 AM daughter you must be tired you should sleep” says Adam concerned.
“I am not feeling sleepy I’ll stay in the living room for sometime or may be on the terrace if you don’t mind. You can sleep” says Elif and Adam who is tired of the whole day and the age ofcourse goes to sleep without insisting her any further.
Now Elif is alone in the living room. Hearth is still lit. She has changed her shoes but she is still in her formal dress. The head scarf is not on her head anymore. Irem never bothers sleeping in any kinda dress but to Elif it’s really uncomfortable.
She hears someone opening the door near 1:00 AM. She doesn’t feel frightened instead stands up all alarmed. As she goes near the living room door it opens with a jerk and hurts her foot. She almost shouts when he holds her mouth tight signaling him with his finger, “shhhh...”
“Don’t shout please...” says Adham.
Elif’s eyes gestured roger. Her eyes fell on his hand in bewilderment,
He immediately took his hand back and whispers, “I am sorry I am late. I wanted to surprise uncle Adam but I couldn’t arrive earlier” says Adham with his innocent face.
“Its ok. He has just fell a sleep. You got keys?” Elif whispers back.
“oh! Fine I’ll see him tomorrow. Yes Uncle Adam is a kind soul he gave me spare ekys so that I can enter his place anytime I want to” he whispers again and goes straight into the living room and sits down by the hearth.
She is amazed by his character such a humble individual. He is blessed with so much talent, money, fame and what not and still he arrives at this little house to meet a loving old man. He sits down on the rug near the hearth, he meets her and others like he knows them for years. How can one be so humble and generous despite so many blessings and so many reasons to be arrogant? she keeps thinking. She is overthinking a lot these days but its ok indeed I have been ruthless on her.
“You will keep standing there or will you ask me dinner” he says with a smile worth falling for.
“Oh! sorry you haven’t taken dinner yet?” she asks politely.
“No, actually public and organizers didn’t give me enough time and as soon as I got free I saw uncle’s text and I travlled all the way from one end of Istanbul to another” tells Adham in a friendly manner.
“Oh! So gentle of you. Let me get you food” she goes into the kitchen and returns after a while. She serves him hot soup and chicked steak with salad.
She serves it all on the table. As he sit on the table she sits infront of him to accompany him.
“So waht do you do?” asks Adham while having dinner.
“Nothing” replies Elif sadly.
“Seriously nothing?” he responds as if he enjoyed her answer.
“Yes nothing” she repeats as if she didn’t like the question.
“Well those who do nothing actually are coping with a lot” he simply drops his opinion.
“Indeed” she almost whispers.
“Why do you look so sad?” he again asks.
“Who said that I am sad?” She asks carelessly she doesn’t want to advertise her tragedy infront of everyone.
“My experience is saying” he says but in real there is nothing like that it’s his tactics to make people feel better by just putting his hands on that sensitive nerve of theirs that hurts a lot. He directly ask people that why are they sad and rarely he receives a satisfactory response most of the people are always sad inside and they are pretending happines.
“Impressive” replies Elif.
“It’s ok if you dont wanna tell but still I hope you find a way out of chaos” Adham says sympathising with her not even knowing her grief.
“Thank you” replies Elif and adds, “I am just tired of this chase. one day I’ll tell my story to the world and the world will have to accept me with all my truth” Elif is broken and hurt and lifeless. She herself doesn’t know what is the point of living now.
“Let’s do this” he says while taking soup.
“do what?” asks Elif.
“A game. Called quick questions” says Adham taking another piece of steak to his mouth.
“What’s it?” she asks
“I’ll ask you a question. You will reply in one or two words. The game will end if you fail to answer briefly or if I fail to question up next” says Adham.
“Intersting. Sure let’s start” says Elif with joy.
“What are you chasing?” he asks while having salad. The question is unexpected for Elif.
“My dream”
“What would you do once you get there?”
“Live a satisfactory life”
“What is satisfaction?”
“Inner Peace”
“What is inner peace?”
“Ecstasy”
“What is ecstasy?”
“Happiness one gets after a long chase, a long run”
“You can’t be happy without running before? Right now?”
“No”
“Why?”
“I don’t know”
“What if you get there and you find it’s not like that?”
“It doesn’t matter what I find there”
“What matters then?”
“Whether I reach there or not matters, my satisfaction matters”
“I guess you just got the answer towards inner peace. Didn’t you?”
“Yep”
“What did you get?”
“That, the ice is black”
“What???”
The fork in Adham’s hand drops as he was about to take the last bite and he bends to pick it up from the rug.
“You lose. You failed to question” says Elif standing up to collect the dishes.
“Wait, I asked ‘what?’ and you didn’t reply. So you lose” says Adham putting the fork back on the table.
“Oh! come on ‘What?’ is not a question it’s just a questioning word so technically you lose” she says while collecting the dishes infront of him.
“Would you like to have tea or coffee?” she asks
“Are you gonna make?” he questions
“Yes if you want I’ll make for us” she replies
“Ok Coffee” he replies
“What?” she stops for a while thinking she doesn’t want to take coffee but then she scolds herself inside why should I leave my favorite things for a person who is no more here for me?Elif you are stupid you have no logical reason to avoid coffee.
“Yes, Coffee any problem?” he asks.
“No would love to make it for you. Will be right back” she says and leaves.
She returns with a cup of coffee after washing Adham’s dishes and cleaning the kitchen thinking that Adam would have to do it if she doesn’t and she really respects and loves him like a father in this little time span.
When she returns she finds Adham laying on the sofa. She looks at his adorable face and his perfect jaw line and his closed eyes. He has almost fell a sleep and he looks so cute. She places the coffee mugs on the table and she picks the blanket from near the table Adam has left and spreads it over him. She feels an angel in his personality how can someone be so humble? He slept on the sofa without any hesitation. He is so tired he even forgot about the coffee she thinks.
Elif sat on the floor near the table siping the coffee thinking about her life and circumstances. She places the cuo aside after taking coffe. Adham’s coffee has become a coffee glacier by now. Within next fifteen minutes she falls asleep. Her eyes open when she finds someone is waking her up.
“ElifNur” the voice is clear and obvious.
She opens her eyes and picks her head up from the table the living room is darkly lit. She looks around it’s Adham standing beside her.
“oh! What? What happened” she asks not knowing what’s wrong with him, her eyes hardly open.
“You can sleep on the sofa if you got no space in the room” he says.
“What? Oh! No I am sorry I just don’t remember when did I sleep here. You can take rest I am fine” says Elif.
“No, you are not. You were screaming badly a while ago” says Adham sitting near her. His drowsiness has vanished by now even though he barely slept an hour. He sits beside her with the blanket sharing it partly with her he says, “Thank you”
“for what?”
“For the blanket and the coffee” he replies this makes Elif blush.
“So you took the cold coffee?” she asks
“Nope I used oven” he replies taking the mug to his lips
“oh! Great. Anyway Pleasure” she replies avoiding eye contact.
“Ummm! Elif it’s only 3:00 AM and look I am feeling like I have been sleeping for hours” he chuckles.
“Same, when you woke me up I felt as if I have been sleeping for hours but it’s barely thirty minutes” replies Elif.
“You went into the kitchen I waited for you but you got late and I don’t know when did I sleep” says Adham in his soft, polite tone.
“Yes, I started doing the didshes I simply don’t want father I mean Adam to do so” she replies.
“You are a kind soul” he remarks he didn’t ask who is she to Adam, he didn’t question anything out of the way. He is generous, and gentle, and amazing.
“So, the ice is black hunh?” Asks Adham looking placing the coffe mug on the table.
“Yes” replies Elif looking into the fire that is still lit in the hearth. There is one bulb at the etrance, or the fire that is the source of light in the living room. This lowly lit living room with these two looks peaceful  and comforting.
“How?” says Adham he seems really interested.
“The world and everything in it is an illusion Adham.” she says and stops for a while as if composing her words in the best possible way “All those things which we measure on our self made scale of FOREVER are temporary, nothing lasts and nothing is the way we see it there is always another side or there is always something we don’t know about those happenings.” she starts adding swiftly her neck still turned towards the hearth as if she loves fire or may be she finds it attractive.
“Dreams break, people leave, we change, life ends and the ice? The ice Adham Ameer? It’s black.” she stops and looks at him who is sitting at her side.
“I like your ideology. Are you a student?” he asks.
“Yes” she replies briefly
“What are you studying?” he asks.
“Truth. I am trynna study truth these days” she replies.
“Amazing. So did you pass the recent exam while studying it?” he asks hiding all the expressions of impresiveness.
“I don’t know may be yes while seeking truth I met another disaster but...” she leaves the sentence in the middle as if not knowing what to say.
“But?” he questions.
“But I somehow managed to survive. I don’t know if I am a Livor as you said today but I am doing well” she explains not knowing why she is saying so many things to this complete stranger.
“You are just doing great Elif and trust me you are an amazing human. You deserve the best” he replies and he means every single word he is saying. He didn’t say that I am a livor that means I am not she thinks.
“Then why do I always get the worst?” she asks as if not meaning to ask but still left with no choice.
“People with bigger perspectives, greater goals and better aims go through the worst. You simply can’t be best at anything without going through the worst.” he responds and finds her silent and not convinced so he adds, “If you somehow managed to give your best at your worst then consider the job done. You did well and you deserve to appreciate yourself” says Adham. He is a true mood therapist. His words are simple but all those words are heart touching and kind enough to make her feel better.
“Do you love someone?” asks Adham in extremely simple way as if anyone can love anyone.
Elif takes a minute to think the man who used to occupy his mind when she was in love is not there any more. He only crosses her mid when someone speaks about tragedies, losses, hurt, but Love? No, he is not there when they talk about love.
“No” she replies briefly.
“Not a single person on Earth?” he again asks.
“No, my mother passed away a month ago. I loved her” she replies briefly.
“Oh! I am sorry to hear that but my point is if you haven’t found love yet it’s quite hard for you to seek Truth. Truth is where the love is. Love is pure and real and there hides the truth you are seeking” he says moving his hand from his hair. He is lavishly handsome.
“But how will I know the love I found is true? How will I know there I’ll find the truth?” she asks.
“It will guide you towards the Truth and inner peace. There won’t be any insecurtities, you won’t be unsure about anything and that’s where you would know it’s true love” says Adham. He is all clear about whatever he is saying as if he has experienced every single thing and Elif is all confused about her own beliefs and as well as his.
“You are quite a great personality Adham. Thankyou. Anyway why are you up? Shouldn’t you be sleeeping?” she asks out of kindness and embaraseement that she is taking musch of his time.
“Pleasure. Yes I am going to sleep. Sleep is nenver an issue for me I sleep wherever I find space and time” he says smiling.
“I guess you rarely find both” she remarks.
“Yes you can say” he replies briefly.
“You should sleep you had had a long day. I guess I woke you up” she says embarassed.
“It’s ok Elif. I have met many people like you who scream at nights, who are sleep deprived, who have had big, big tragedies but you are doing great girl and I hope you succeed in finding truth” He says standing up to go back to his sofa for a sound sleep.
“You will sleep on the sofa?” she again asks.
“Yes it’s not a problem for me. Uncle Adam’s home is so cozy and peaceful that sofa or anything makes me feel at ease” he replies.
“Indeed I second you. Okay see ya” Elif stands up and moves towards her room.
***
“You know Izzat Ameer a lawyer gets only one case in a life time that makes the career” says Hussain Jabeci after he has won the case.
“Yes” Izzat’s hand stops for a moment while collecting the files.
“It was this case in your career” he adds.
“And in yours also. I basically lost it” says Izzat again collecting her file from the table.
“You won it despite loosing. This case was a win-win situation for both of us. It was our that one career building case” says Hussain Jabeci.
Izzat smiles looking at him and takes the files and moves away.
“Her husband is such a combination of luck and badluck” Hussain Jabeci murmurs lost in her blonde curls from behind.
Well well well men will be men amd Hussain Jabeci is also a strange version of man. Anyway the case is over and I have nothing to do with this man now.
***
One fine day of 1st January, 2035 Izzat returns home filled with strange thoughts. Yesterday was the New year night and she and Adham never celebrate new year nights by attending dinners and parties and stuff instead they stay home and enjoy their own little party discussing one more year passed.
She hits a parcel placed near the door as she was taking out the keys from her hand bag. She looks at it and finds her name pasted on it with a Jasmine.
To Izzat Ameer. A girl who will never grow old.
She looks left and right there is no one around. She inserts the key in the lock and opens the door. She enters the house with a strange feeling. She used to receive good wishes, support letters, and a lot of love from around the globe for being an adorable, female activist for Paletinians over the years. She had a fan following which kept raising and declining in all those years she spent without Asad. So there is nothing new in getting a parcel then what’s new? Just stay put.
The strange thing about this parcel is the stamp on it which is about twenty years ago from Palestine dated, December 2007.
She stops before opening it and tries to recall where was she in 2007? What was she doing years ago? And she found out she was engaged with Asad Ameer, she was young and even more gorgeous. She recalls when Asad used to write her letters back in that time and she used to read them hiding from the family. She used to write back at times and at times she failed to answer but it was all peaceful and great back then.
She opens the parcel and the box is in layers she first takes out a box and finds out a bullet inside it. The note beneath it says, ‘The bullet Aali was shot with’. There is a small note beneath it.
Dear wifey,
Add it in the pendant you still wear everywhere in all those interviews where you never said a word for me. Where I kept looking for an ounce of love and defence from your side on my behalf but there was nothing. I am sorry I said at Ensaf’s demise that it’s last but no it was not I kept this bullet with me for long in hope that one day I’ll meet you and I won’t gift you roses, and chocolates but I’ll give you the bullet with which my brother passed away. I bore it all alone. I am still surviving a lot.
-Asad
He didn’t mention the bullet with which he killed his brother he wrote with which his brother passed away instead. There was something she felt for the first time. His side of the story which was missing all through these years, which she never thought to listen. She gives benefit of doubt to everyone. Everyone... but why didn’t she ever gave this benefit to her husband? she reflects.
She keeps the bullet aside and looks at the locket in her neck there is a shrapnel of bomb with which Ensaaf passed away, and two bullets with which her brother passed away. All those objects were well polished and impregnated into a gold chain no one could tell she is wearing death wherever she goes.
She created the first locket on her own and said ‘I wanna create life out of death’. People used to question her but she used to find it a good way of remembering her loved ones who passed away in the fight for freedom. Now the locket looked adorable and a part of her personality.
A tear drop falls from her eye while reading that note from Asad. Years passed by but the love between them is still constant.
She opened another box inside the comparitively bigger box there was again a small note ‘You forgot a few things in Palestine while moving here’. She opened it with shivering hands and it contained all those letters he wrote to her back in time when life was filled with beginings and ends were far, far away.
She opens one letter after another and the nostalgia hits her hard.
Then she opens another layer inside the box and finds a hard object beneath it. There was again a note.
‘I don’t know if you still remember the good old times but I hope this will help.’
She removes the khaki paper wrapped over it and there is a picture frame she left back in Palestine in which she, Asad, little Adham, Ensaaf and Aali were standing all cheerful and bright.
With a sinking feeling she places everything on her lap and cries for hours looking at them. Asad? Where are you? Why would you do this to me? Why don’t you come yourself? I miss you. I miss you everyday. I miss you in every single thing Adham does. He is a clear reflection of you. He has grown up such a gentleman. You would love meeting him. She sobs speaking to her heart out to herself but Asad is no where. He sent this parcel may be straight from Palestine but there is this feeling inside her that he is under the same sky.
***
1st January 2035, Ankara Turkey
Adham is in the hospital attending a patient when Elif knocks at his door.
“Come in” he says.
“Thanks are you free?” she replies and enters.
“Oh! Miss Elif Nur come on in here have a seat” he gives a welcoming response. Since that day he never left helping her out in any possible way he could. He respects women that’s what Izzat trained her about. He is blessed with every great thing but he is nothing to do with arrogance and this humble attitude is what keeps Elif intouch with him.
“Just give me a minute” he excuses Elif for the twenty years old girl sitting infront of him.
“So, I was saying this is how it all works you can still do great just give yourself some credit for coming this far” he is speaking kindly to this girl sitting infront of him.
“Thank you I’ll see you again” the girl stands up and leaves perhaps she could not carry out any further conversation in the presence of Elif or perhaps it was over.
“So what would you like to take Tea or coffee? And oh! where is your friend?” he says with immense respect.
“Tea” she replies “she was a little busy” but in real she didn’t tell Irem that she is going to visit Adham.
“Sure” he calls for tea and gets attentive to her again.
“So how are you doing” he asks.
“Well since I am seeking truth I told you I need to speak truth first and the truth is I am not doing well” she says quite upset.
“Why? What happened?” Adham asks his tone is concerning the way it is to everyone.
“If you don’t mind may I ask you something?” says Elif picking her head up.
“Yes sure” he replies.
“You have such an amazing qualification. I mean gold medalist, writer of various life changing articles, a great speaker and a trainer with really huge fan following what are you supposed to do with all these common people by sitting at a desk all day even on New year when people are having fun out there?” she shares her question as if it was disturbing her for days.
“Well this gives me pleasure. I find peace in humanity. I try to help people because that is how we can make this world a better place to live” he responds all clear about himself and whatever he do has logic.
“I wish everyone believed in humanity as much as you do” she says upsettingly.
“Why are you upset?” he asks his famous question.
“Wait I’ll show you” she says and starts fishing her hand bag and takes out the rubix cube that she carries with her everywhere and places it infront of him, “Look” she says
“What?” he says looking at it.
“It has been the easiest thing for me to do over the years and yesteday I couldn’t solve it either how can I resolve my life troubles” she says sadly.
“Now you can solve the life troubles better” says Adham.
“How?” she asks.
“Look at you. All these years you have been escaping life troubles with this rubix cube. you used to solve it and you used to find your comfirt and ease in it. Even if life is harsh doesn’t matter because you believed rubix cube solved, problem solved but practically it’s not right even though it’s a good escape. Anyway the good thing is now the day has arrived, now the rubix cube has left solving, now you have to solve life no matter what” he says as his PA serves tea.
“I like this explanation but this is not very true and practicable” she says.
“How?” asks Adham politely uyet ready to welcome any offence.
“I have no troubles in my life it’s just my past that doesn’t leave me alone and there is no solution to it” she says.
“Well you can move on no matter however your past treated you” he says simply.
“It’s impossible” she replies stressed and overwhelmed.
“No it’s not nothing like that is impossible. Find love, seek truth and you will find your present worth living” he says.
“Love has been cruel to me in the past I don’t want to find it. Truth is scarce and only few people find it. I find my pleasure in success only” she replies stick to her believes.
“Now you are on an extremely wrong side” he says and adds, “It must not be true love that you found, Truth is not scarce either, people who deserve to find it are scarce and success is indeed the best remedy to all the losses but success is pron to decline ans Truth? Truth stays.” he explains leaning back with his cup of tea.
I want to tell you a story of a girl. Would you like to listen?” she says taking the cup of tea to her mouth.
“Sure” he replies intrigued.
“Okay so here it is. Once there was a little girl. She was haunted by men. When she was six a man took her away from her mother. He comitted the horid act with her but suddenly humanity woke inside him and he dropped her to the hospital. Her poor mother found her out and saved her from the society and all the evils by accepting the huge offer the man gave her. Let me tell you that man was once the love of her mother’s life. Later the man comitted suicide. In the years to come her mother passed away too and the girl married the so called love of her life but there was no happily everafter and the guy gave her divorce within seven days of their marriage where five days she was out of senses due to his amazing, hospitable family in India. She returned Turkey. She again started living and found humanity again but it’s hard to move on for her” there are no tears, no sadness nothing in her eyes.
It seems like she is telling someone else’s story but Adham knew she is talking aboutherself. He has met so many people with sadness and tragedies overloaded but this story was different and pathetic. How can world be so cruel to such an adorable human. Who is all kind and lovely really truth is hard for her to find indeed the ice is black.
“Pathetic. I must say it’s heart wrenching but again ‘The ice is Black’” he says.
“You believe in it as much as I do?” she asks amazed.
“Yes I do since the day you shared it with me” replies Adham.
“Good to know. Okay thank you for your time I wanted to share this story with someone who may not judge me” she says winking at him and stands up to leave.
“Miss Elif?” says Adham
“Yes” she replies softly now her mood looks better.
“You didn’t mention in the story why did the guy divorced the girl?” asks Adham not intrigued or comcerned but sadly.
“Ummm..! the hymen was not intact” she says without an ounce of embarassement.
“That girl deserves the world” says Adham.
“Indeed” she replies.
“Will see you again” he says from behind.
***
“Yamma why are you crying like this” on returning home Adham finds Izzat crying like a child looking at all those letters and the picture. He has never seen his mother like this. She speaks between hiccups, “he is here. your father is finally here”
“But where is he staying?” he asks neither excited nor upset, nothing. he feels nothing for his father except the curiosity to see him once.
“I don’t know but he is in Turkey he sent all of these and there is his address on the parcel. Please Adham take me there. He is sick I want to see him... I know he is sick I see him in my dreams. I see him dying in my nightmares” she sobs when Adham takes the parcel and looks at the address.
“Wait Yamma it’s Istanbul, Adam uncle’s address” says Adham out of strange delight. he himself doesn’t what’s making him feel happy the address he found out or the man he is looking for years?
“What? He is staying there? Adam gave him our address?” she asks
“I don’t know. We can call him” says Adham and instantly calls Adam.
“Hey! Uncle?” Adam picks the phone on third ring
“Yes son how are you” his lively voice says.
“I am good uncle. Actually I am in a rush these days I just wanna ask is there someone staying at your place these days?” he asks immediately.
“Yes but he has left just about ten minutes ago for Istanbul he says he has relatives there” says Adam truthfully.
“Oh! What was his name?” asks Adam
“Aron. Remember the guy who took autograph from you?” replies Adam smply.
“yes I do remember. You gave him our address?” asks Adham
“Yes I told him about you so he said he wanted to meet you people that’s why I gave him your address” says Adam.
“ohhhh-kayyy thank you uncle. Talk to you later” he puts the phone aside and looks at Izzat.
“Leave it Yamma if that man is Asad Ameer he will be her ein a day or two dont worry and stop crying” says Adham.
“Call him Baba” says Izzat
“I am sorry Yamma I’ll take my time to accept him as that till then give me my time and I have something important to talk to you” he adds. Atleast this would change the topic and her mood both.
“Sure I am all at ears” she says interested in whatever he wants to reveal.
“I don’t know you are in trauma right now but may be this will make you feel better” he says
“Just spit it out son” says Izzat clearing her wet eyes smiling like an adorable doll.
“I want to get married yamma” he says clearly.
“Ooo Wowww” Izzat almost jumps on the couch with excitement and motherly affection.
“Finally...! Do you love someone?” she asks excitedly.
“Yes” he responds sitting beside her clearing the messy letters by Asad spread all around.
“Really? You never even told me?” she says faking anger.
“I fell in love with her today” he replies boldly
“What?” she says as if he is joking.
“Are you sure? You want to marry her whoever she is” Izzat is not as happy now as she was a moment ago.
“Yes Yamma after few months. May be in April” he says. as if he has already planned everything on his own.
“Sure take your time I will see what I can do. I am excited about it. you make me feel so happy always Adham.. May God bless you. I love you my son I love you” she says hugging him with delight.
***
Well that’s freaking amazing two tragedies deserve eachother, two kind hearts deserve each other, two souls filled with humanity deserve each other and that’s how it is when we look at Adham Ameer and Elif Nur but then again togetherness is not always the ending there is much more to come on the way. Togetherness has a price but I believe both of them have paid this price in the past when they got their shares of tragedies and troubles from me (Life)
***
See ya up next. I am sad to end this story but I have to because all those beginings have ends and the ice? The ice is Black.   
And if you Believe things fall at place. I need to conduct one last meeting with belief as well. Lets see if I can manage to find him somewhere.