Queen of the Underworld | Book 3

• fifty-four •

I'm going to start this chapter by saying that writing this chapter was hard. I picked it up then put it back down over and over. I can't even read it again to edit it, I'm just pushing through it.

After what I went through personally this year, I wasn't going to write this. In fact, I was going to completely gloss over it.

But it's important.

••  ❤︎  ••

My hands were still shaking when Julian met us downstairs at the breakfast table.

"Where's Damien?" He asked when he saw us sitting at the table.

Leah cleared her throat, her hand still on her neck. "He should be coming down at any moment now. Same for Kymra and Oren. Just waiting for them to arrive."

Julian nodded. "And Asmodeus?"

"He won't be joining us," I answered quietly.

I watched Mehnit's steps as she entered the room and sat next to me where I sat.

I'd left her in the room with Julian while she napped unable to wake her given what we would be up against tonight.

"At all?" He asked incredulously.

I only nodded.

His face changed, worry creased his brow. He placed his hand on the back of his neck. "That's not like him." He paused, looking at me. "He's not going to Mal, is he?"

Leah sighed. "That's what I asked her too."

I shook my head like I had done when Leah asked me. "He's not. He wouldn't. He doesn't want to be a part of the fight."

He was still frowning. "We will have to discuss new tactics if that's the case."

I nodded again. I looked at his closed fist. "What's that you have in your hand?"

He chuckled silently, looking away as if ashamed. "A futile effort on my part to try and bring some sort of victory for us over Mal. It's Tianna's stone. I thought maybe we could use it a little more to our advantage but nothing." He shrugged, sighing. "After countless days and visits to the Nether Circles, running around in circles and making bargains with people, we couldn't find anything else on it." He shrugged. "The most information I could find was from an old crone and it was useless."

"What did she say?" I asked him.

He didn't look at me. "If I wanted more information, all I had to do was ask." He chuckled. "I thought that was what I was doing ad nauseam with my contacts. But apparently not."  A crimson blush washed over his cheeks. He looked away. "I then started asking the stone itself." He chuckled nervously. "It didn't work."

I never saw him look so vulnerable.

"I feel stupid."

I bit my lip. My heart was melting. I'd been so wrapped up in my own efforts that I didn't see his. I forgot about the late nights and multiple visits. I could see it in the bags under his eyes. He even looked vulnerable admitting how he felt. "Can I see it?"

Julian nodded, handing me the small pouch in his hand as he slid in the seat next to me.

I dropped the large emerald in my hand. It thrummed with energy, small waves of power pulsed through my fingers as I touched it.