A collection of short stories centering around a kid named Sammy and a few of his friends, not so good friends, and straight up enemies. It's 50% simple vibes, and 50% teenage angst.
I didn't know what I was doing when I wrote this, and a lot of the...
Hello dear readers and welcome back to your favorite segment: Fish Ask Questions; where fish ask questions and I answer them. Some people ask how I can speak to fish, but this isn't called People Ask Questions so I am in no way obligated to answer that question. Let's get to it!!!
Q: Is swimming just flying underwater?
A: This is an age old question that has stumped many a physicist. However, the most recent research suggests that, due to the lessening of gravities' effects that is experienced in water, that swimming is more like flying on the moon. So swimming would not technically be exactly like flying on earth, but you can pretend you're a flying astronaut if that's what puts the yee in your haw.
Q: Do they make fanny packs for fish?
A: Although I am personally not a fish myself and therefore do not deal with all of the many problems that fish must deal with on a daily basis, I am still a huge advocate for fish rights. This is why I have begun working on a new brand that specialises in fish-only gear. Fish don't have hands or legs, meaning that you guys don't have the simple luxuries of holding all your fishy necessities or putting them in your pants' pockets. That's why I believe that every fish deserves a fanny pack; the perfect friend for all your underwater adventures. Fanny packs For Fishes: coming winter 2020.
Q: Why are jellyfish just so gosh-diddly-darn popular?
A: Jellyfish are pretty cool, but that's no reason for them to be so much more popular than other types of sea creatures. So, yeah, maybe jellyfish don't even need brains and, sure, some of them can glow, but caN THEY BREATH UNDERWATER???? NO. THEY CAN'T. THEY DON'T EVEN HAVE RESPIRATORY SYSTEMS!!! . . . freaks.
Q: I'm starting my college search journey and want to know what the top rated fish schools are. Can you help me?
A: I can indeed help you, even though you could have just done a quick google search and saved everyone a bunch of time. Luckily, I've already done quite a bit of extensive research on fish schools. I highly recommend Sturgeon University as a top choice for any young fishies out there looking for the perfect college fit. Not only are it's academics simply out of this ocean, but they have a multi-decade champion swim team and faculty that attracts little guppies from all seven seas. I guess you could say that they're pretty of-fish-ial. . . . heh.
Q: I think that my girlfriend is cheating on me with my best friend. What should I do?
A: The most important thing to remember in any relationship is that looks are all that matter. If you're a Wolf Fish, and your friend's a French Angelfish, then, well, it was just bound to happen. All you can do is hope there are huge advances in plastic surgery soon, because otherwise you are destined to die alone.
Haha. Just kidding. If you feel like there are any issues in your relationship, you should try to sit down with your girlfriend and talk about any insecurities and problems you might be having. Proper communication is the best way to resolve conflicts.
Hello friends! If you are a fish and also have questions, then feel free to ask them in the comments. Love you!
~the end~
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