Tom Holland - B L U E B L O O D

S I X

(1083 words)
~Y/N'S POV~

"I kinda want to kiss you right now" I looked at Tom with a blankly. Our faces were inches apart. I put my hand on the nape of his neck and placed my lips on his. I twirled my fingers around his curly brown hairs. Tom put one hand on my cheek and the other on the small of my back. I pulled away to catch a breath. I giggled and wiped my lip with my thumb.
"You are beautiful" I blushed and looked down at my hands.
"Thank you" I returned. He put his hand on my chin and lifted my head up to look at him. I looked into his eyes, they seemed sincere and soft. On the outside Tom was tough, he had a scar on his cheek and roughly padded hands. He also had a way with words that made him seem stronger then he was. I could see through it, at least I think so. He put his lips on mine once again, they were soft and soothing. I didn't want to leave his grasp. For once in a long time I felt safe in someone's arms.

(Flash back)
Nick went to my high school, he asked to move next to me in World Civ. I would glance across the table to see him looking at me. I would always blush and look at my hands, I never had the guts to talk to him. He always helped me with the work, and eventually came to sit with me at lunch. With time I started talking to him and texting him all the time. He made me smile when no one else could. We went out on a couple dates and he was my first kiss, well he was my first everything, first kiss, first fuck, first love. I loved him a week after we started dating. I knew he didn't feel the same way so I kept it to myself. A month in I decided to tell him how I felt. We drove up the canyon to watch the sunrise. We set up a blanked in the grass and watched the colors over the cliff.
"I love you" I whispered. He looked at me and didn't respond. My heart started to speed up, my palms started to sweat, would if he didn't say it back. He hates me, he never liked me, he just wanted to get in my pants, he is toying with me, he thinks I'm ugly!
"Baby, you know how strongly I feel about that word, I really, really like you"  I stared him down my eyes filled with rage. I hated him. I HATED HIM! I kept my eyes locked on his and walked backwards toward the sunrise. He looked at me confused, then that confusion turned to fear and that fear turned to panic. I walked backwards off the cliff we were sitting on, emotionless. He scrambled to grab me but I jumped before he could. Luckily the fall was shorter then it looked but I still broke two ribs. When I was in the hospital they had to do a psych evaluation, basically they had to check what kinds of fucked up in my head made me jump off a cliff... B.P.D (borderline personality disorder). It's all fucked up.  Symptoms include fear of abandonment, unstable relationships, impulsive behavior, self-harm, extreme emotional swings, and explosive anger. They also told me I couldn't see nick again... which made me attempt to throw myself out the hospital window, it didn't work obviously. After that I spent two months in a mental hospital learning 'how to cope with anger' 'how to control my impulses' and 'good coping methods'. It sucked so much fucking dick! To summarize, my senior year did not go so good for me.

Tom started to trail his hand up my torso, under my shirt. I grabbed his wrist and pulled it away. He looked at me.
"Am I moving to fast? I'm sorry I-"
"it's ok, I just like you and I want to take things a little bit slower, like dinner?"
"Yeah that sounds great!" He smiled, his hand still on my back. "There is this really nice place across the river called Mother's"
"Isn't that place like fancy and expensive?"
"Yeah, I will pay for it of course"
"You really are the sweetest, how will I ever pay you back for all this stuff?"
"It's really ok, I enjoy treating you." I pulled his face in once more and felt my lips on his. He pulled away and smiled at me.
"It's getting late but tomorrow at 7 o'clock I will be here to pick you up" all I did was smile and nod.
"See Yeah darling" my who body melted into the couch hearing that name. He closed the door behind him and a large smile darted on my face. I practically hopped up and down. In my excitement I gathered two more lines in my nose. The feeling was indescribable. My body shook, in a good way. I was bouncing to no music, I looked at my out of breath self in the mirror.
"You are fucking AMAZING!!" I screamed. I then heard the door open. I stopped in my tracks and slowly stuck my head around the corner to see who it was.
"Noah!!" I screamed again. "Yay You are home!"
"I don't live here"
"You should, you should move in, that would be the best fucking idea. MOVE IN!"
"Somebody is a little coked up"
"why are you being a dick Noah? It's getting on my nerves"
"I don't know, why are you all over Tom like he is fucking creme brûlée"
"This is about Tom?'
"Yeah, it's always been about Tom"... " I've liked Tom since I saw him and he has never payed any attention to me, now you walk in with your hands in your pockets and your head to the floor and he pays all his attention to you"
"Maybe his straight Noah..."
"So?"
"Woah woah woah, don't pull a James Charles on me"
"Fuck off Y/N, I'm going home"
"Noah wait, it was a joke, come on" he walked to the door. "I'm sorry" I said as he walked out the door and shut it behind him.
"Fuck" I mumbled. I did what I always do when I feel like shit and I downed four oxy's and watched a movie I didn't care to watch.