Tom Holland - B L U E B L O O D

S E V E N T E E N

(748 words)
~TOM'S POV~

I rocked her back and forth on the floor of my room.
"It's my fault Tom" she whispered in between cries.
"Sh sh sh, it's not your fault y/n" I brushed her hair out of her face and ran my hand down her back.
"It's ok, it's going to be ok"
"No Tom, it's not" she balled up the fabric of my shirt in her fist "I did this...now he is dead"
"He was unstable, you can't blame yourself"
Her tears stained my shirt as they ran down my chest. "Just breath" I began to take some deep breaths to help her calm down. "In.... out.... in.... out...."
"Would if I end up like him..."
"No, don't think that" I held her tighter.
"I'm unstable, I've attempted twice, would if I try again and succeed"
"Twice? I thought you have only attempted suicide once"
"..."
"Is that why you are here?"
"..."
"I'm so sorry y/n, I'm so sorry if I caused you any pain. I didn't mean it. I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry, it's my fault"
"Stop saying it's your fault!"

We heard the nurses voice from the hall, he was coming.
"Come on you should hide before you get in any more trouble"
"Where?!" She got up from the comfort of my lap searched for a spot.
"The windowsill! Hurry"
She leaped into the windowsill and closed the curtains as the door opened.
"Tom, how are you feeling? Are you ok?" The nurse asked, not like he actually cared how I was doing.
"Yeah I'm ok, just a little shocking that's all."
"Yeah yeah, well have you seen y/n? She is not in her room"
"I haven't, once you find her will you let me know? I just want to make sure she is ok"
"Sure, get me if you need anything" I nodded as he left.
"Fuck, you have so go before you get caught"
"I don't want to leave" she said, poking her head out of the curtains. 
"Y/N, I don't want to get you in trouble again!"
"Its my decision to stay" she straddled me on the bed. "I just need to be held right now" I placed my hands on the small of her back. She put her hand on my cheeks. "What is this?" She ran her thumb over a new cut on my face that was sure to become a scar.
"I'm not sure, I don't remember getting it"
"You have to be careful, I feel scared that you put yourself in so many dangerous situations"
I stayed silent, I wasn't sure what to say.
She put her cheek on my shoulder and wrapped her arms around my neck. I ran my fingers up and down her spine.

After a few minutes of silence I began to get light headed. My ears started to ring. I started to shake.
"I think I'm going to be sick" She got up and helped me stand.
"Are you ok?" I felt sickness rise up my throat. I bolted to the bathroom.
"Tom, do you need anything? Water? I can get a nurse"
"No" my body felt dizzy as I puked into the bowl. y/n kneeled on the floor next to me. Something inside of me was raging, I needed coke. It's been days.
"I need to get out of here, I don't belong here"
"None of us belong here."
"I need coke, y/n"
"I am having cravings too, but I know that my life will be better if I get through this.... our lives will be better"
"I'm not as strong as you"
"Tom, you can get through this" she ran her hand through my hair. "Try for me..."
I looked at her for a moment before Nodding my head in agreement. "Ok"

*

Y/n eventually snuck out of my room, leaving me on the bathroom tile. I wanted to leave, I wanted to sock one of the nurse, take the keys and get the hell out of here. I know I could, it's not like it would be that hard. Then I thought about y/n, and my recovery. I would do it for her, I would quite dealing drugs for her, change my life for her. Until then, I'm going to have to go through hell. Hopefully I'll make it through to the other side.

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AN: I might to a book of short stories (smut/fluff) comment or DM requests and ideas. <3