Tom Holland - B L U E B L O O D

S E V E N

(1141 words)
~TOM'S POV~

I left y/n's with a smile...which immediately depleted when I exited the warmth of her building. The night was dark, damp, and uncomfortable. Reality quickly settled in. I sat on the cold leather of my car with a blank face. The same face I've had for years. I slowly started my car and looked out onto the empty solemn streets. My drive home was dull. My mind was blank. This was not a new feeling.

Everyday.

Everyday I felt that way. I felt nothing. All the time. I felt exhausted. Dull. The only thing that made me feel was drugs...cocaine, alcohol, anything. Anything I could get my hands on. Whatever I found I would take...drink...shoot. It was never a problem for me; I never felt like I was ruining my life. There was nothing to ruin. I was an alcoholic, an addict, and a criminal.
Samuel said I should see a therapist. It's not worth the effort. Plus if I did go it's not like I would tell them anything. I'm a god damn drug dealer.

I pulled into the parking garage. The light above me flickered. I walked through the darkness of the garage to the elevator. The elevator was warm.
I looked up at the ceiling to find a mirror. I stood slouched with my neck arched, staring intently at myself in the ceiling. I quickly brought my head upright at the ring of the elevator doors. The double doors opened up to a warmly light hall. My apartment was comparatively nice. There were decorative lamps lining the walls and the numbers on the doors were plated in gold.
A split second memory of y/n made my chest buzz. A chill ran down my spine. I thought again of her soft hands on my face, or her lips against mine. A small smile crept up on me. I shook it off my face, it didn't feel natural, it didn't belong there. I entered my empty apartment to the smell of concrete and stale air. Whiffs of laundry and cologne fill my nose as I walk down the hall. I didn't want to sleep...I didn't want to stay awake. I didn't want to stay in my apartment, but I sure as hell didn't want to leave. Instead I poured coke on the table and gin in a glass.

~Y/N'S POV~

  I woke up the next morning still feeling good. Sometimes when I fall asleep after taking painkillers, the high carries over. In the morning you are still floating, no need for a cup of coffee. I wanted to keep rolling on my high. I took 4 more round white pills and waited. Waited for the weight to be lifted off my shoulders. Waited for the worry to go away for just a second. Waited for the smile on my face not to be forced.
My arms got heavy and my thoughts got slow. The tingle in my feet made me laugh.
I was content. Content in that moment. I didn't want to leave. I wanted to stay in that state. Forever. With a weighted body and a fuzzy brain.
Eventually, everyone needs to land.

ME- what do you think heroine is like?

NOAH- y/n, stop, we have been over this. That shit will kill you.

ME- I don't want to try it...I'm just curious.

NOAH- I know people who have overdosed and died within a week of trying it.

ME- so you know people who use it?

NOAH- Y/N!

ME- Noah chill! I'm not going to fucking do it.

Noah left me on read. He was obviously still mad, even though none of it was my fault. I needed him...he was my only plug.

ME- I'm sorry Noah...

NOAH- it's not your fault, I'm just jealous.

ME- but I was a dick last night.

NOAH- it's honestly all good.

ME- I love you bb.💕

NOAH- love you to babe.

Eventually after coming down it was 5:30pm. I had an hour to get ready before Tom got here. I was a little afraid I wasn't going to make it through dinner without my trusty opioids. I didn't want to be disrespectful and go to dinner high, but on the other hand I didn't want to go sober because, I'm too much of a bitch sober.
I've heard about Mother's, the place Tom was wanting to take me. It's nice. Nice like, suit and tie nice, like escargot nice, like fucking old ladies in elbow gloves nice.
I searched feverishly through my closet. The piles of clothes on the floor were growing. I pulled out a dress I hadn't put on in years. I didn't even know if it still fit.

I wore it for my senior prom. I was forced to go with my best friend. My family said it would 'make me more social'...

ME- are you sure about this Tom?

TOM- what do you mean?

ME- Mother's is like the fanciest place I've ever been. I don't have manners or etiquette. The only dress I have is my prom dress for god sake.

TOM- don't feel pressured at all, But also don't worry about it. That stuff doesn't matter. I just want to have a good time with you.

ME- thank you so much honestly. ☺️

TOM- of course! ♥️

7 o'clock rolled around and I was ready. My dress fit fine. My hair was curled at the ends. My perfume wasn't too strong. I was read, but I had this crazy feeling I was missing something. I looked at the pill bottle on the table and looked back at the floor. "no." I whispered to myself. It was like my brain switched off and my body switched on. 'One wouldn't hurt', my body dragged itself to table. I twisted the white top off the orange container. 'One won't hurt'. I stared at the pill in my hand.
It wasn't even about the high in that moment. It was about if I had self control. Control over my decision, over my actions.
My mind failed and my body won. "Fuck" I said before tossing the pill into my mouth.
The door knocked and I hid the bottle in my drawer. I walked to the door with my heels making clicking sounds against the hard wood.
"Hello, come in"
"You look beautiful"
"Thank you...you look handsome yourself"
He wore a dark gray suit that matched the circles under his eyes. His tie was long and black.
"Why are you so nice?" I asked.
"Trust me, I'm not" he replied.
"Yes. Yes you are. Look at yourself" he looked at me and smiled.
"Shall we?" He asked taking my hand in his. He took my chin in his long slim fingers and softly kissed my lips.