Tom Holland - B L U E B L O O D

T H I R T E E N

(1492 words)
~Y/N~

The ambulance doors opened. Two men in uniforms helped wheel the stretcher out of the back. I still didn't know why they used a stretcher or an ambulance, I could walk just fine. They insisted I be taken in a stretcher "just to be safe". They wheeled me through the back doors of the building. There was a long hall with identical doors on both sides. We reached the elevator, big enough to hold the bed plus a few men. I'm not sure how far up we went but the elevator ride was pretty long. Once it stopped and the doors opened I was pushed into a small room that resembled a doctors office you would see at your local clinic. There were magazines, gloves, tissues, cabinets, and a single stethoscope hanging on the wall. The men left without saying a word. I wasn't sure where I was, or why exactly I was there. Within a couple minutes a woman came in, dressed with scrubs.
"Hello Y/N, I'm nurse Ann and I'm here to ask you some questions" I mentally rolled my eyes. The doctors have been asking me the same questions all week.
"Ok" I responded. She got onto the computer in the corner of the room.
"Are you taking any medication?"
"OxyContin, hydrocodone, Valium, Adderall, Percocet, Vicodin, and codeine" She started to type quickly as I was listing the names.
"And were any of those prescribed under your name?"
"No"
"How regularly and at what dose where you taking those drugs?"
"I take like 150mg, once a day, probably more"
"Of all of them?"
"I like to switch it up"
"And how long have you been doing this?"
"8 months"
"Do you have any medical diagnoses? Physical or mental?"
"I have BPD..."
"Is that all?"
"That I know of."... "is that all of your questions?"
"Are you willing to admit yourself into our facility?"
"...yeah"
"Ok than we are all set, get your paperwork and take you for a tour" The woman walked out and I was left in the room, once again.

*

After all the paperwork they finally gave me a tour. We entered through two sturdy double doors. There was Christmas decorations everywhere, even though it was only November. She rolled me passed the front desk and into a long hall. People passed, some were in normal clothes and some were in scrubs. People stared, I stared back.
"All these doors go to rooms, some have one bed and some have two. You have a room to yourself I'm pretty sure."
We rolled into a room with large open doorways attached. She pointed to one of the doors.
"That is the 'T.V. room, we rarely turn on the T.V. but there are plenty of other activities, such as, cards, board games, music, books, and some other things." She pointed to the next room.
"That is the dining hall, we have food brought to you from the cafeteria downstairs. Do you have any food allergies or preferences?"
"No, not really"
"Ok well good" she pointed to the the room next to it
"And that is the group therapy room"
There where about 20 chairs arranged in a circle.
She was about to roll me out but then I saw the last door in the room, but the door was closed.
"What's in there?" I pointed to the shut doors.
"That is the safety room, for people who are a danger to themselves or others"
"Can I see?" I was filled with curiosity.
She rolled me in front of the door and opened it. Inside there was a "bed" with leather straps for people's arms, legs, and head. The room was padded in blue soft tiles. It scared me to look in there. The nurse and I where silent, staring into the room.
"How often does this get used?" I said nervously.
"Probably once every three months"
I nodded my head and she went back to the front desk.
"Now it's time to check your vitals and weight. We will check them every morning when you wake up.... can you stand up?"
"Yeah yeah, I'm fine, I'm not sure why I needed to come in this bed in the first place."
"Well hop off and come over here so we can check everything.
I threw my legs over the side of the bed and jumped off. The nurse checked my vitals and my weight. She didn't show me my weight because "we weren't supposed to know". She then showed me into this room with a shower and a sink. She closed the door behind us.
"You are going to need to undress"
"Everything?"
"Yep, I have to take note of every scar on your body."
"Oh, I don't self harm like that"
"We have to track it to make sure no new marks appear while you are here."
I nervously undressed and handed my clothes to the nurse. I stood there shyly and she took notes on her clipboard.
"Arms up" I did as she said. She went around to my back side and took more notes. Once she was done she handed me a pile of blue scrubs. She left the room with my clothes in her arms.  I unfolded the scrubs to find socks and a pair of white underwear, they looked like granny panties... but worse. I put on the scrubs and left the room. I saw that the nurse was waiting for me.
"I'll show you to your room" I nodded and followed her down the hall. She opened the door, there were to beds...
"Oh I guess I was wrong, you will be sharing a room with..." she checked her clipboard "Emma. Everyone is in group therapy right now. Make yourself comfortable and I'll come back in an hour for lunch. Oh, and here is the list of rules"

1. No physical touch of any kind with the patients or staff

2. No writing notes

3. All scars must be covered

4. No entering rooms that aren't yours

5. Do not tell people your full name

I was slightly confused about the last rule because our full name was on our writs band, so anyone could see it. I left the paper with the rules on the table and took a look around. There where two beds, two desks, two bedside tables, and one bathroom. The bathroom had a shower, a toilet, and a sink. The plastic mirror above the sink was severely dented, it looked like someone punched it. I laid on the twin bed, which was surprisingly comfortable. I got under the covers and tried to take a nap, but I was restless. I tossed and turned, my mind was racing. For some reason I couldn't stop thinking about Tom, the way he smiled and laughed, the way he talked, the way he kissed me and the way he touched me...  I stood up to go sit on the windowsill. I tried to distract myself. I looked out the window to see a courtyard. There where children playing soccer down there. They all had smiles on their faces.
I looked through the windows of building next to me and saw nurses roll people in wheelchairs down the hall. There was pattern carpets and art on the walls. I thought about all the people in this hospital, an their stories.
I turned to look at my roommates side of the room, I saw books on her desk and drawings taped to the wall. She had a vase of flowers on her bedside table. It brightened up the room a little bit.
The hospital was pretty dreary, the floors were concrete, the walls were gray. The Christmas decorations felt like they didn't belong. It wasn't homey at all.
The nurse eventually came back and brought me to lunch, she handed me a tray of food. The food had a gray tint, mashed potatoes, peas, and a chicken breast. I looked at all the tables they provided. None of them are empty.
"Can I eat in my room?" I ask the nurse.
"Sorry, you have to be supervised while you eat" I roll my eyes and sat down, farthest from anyone. A girl came and sat across from me, I felt like I was in high school again.
"Hi, I'm Marika, I got in here two weeks ago, those scrubs suck don't they, you will get your clothes back soon, anyway I'm in here because of attempted suicide, it's helping tho, I'm not suicidal anymore, what about you? Why are you in here? Is it because of drugs or mental health? That kid over there was a coke addicted. So, what about you?"  I stayed silent for a moment, trying to take in all the information.
"The scrubs do suck" 
"You get out of them in three days, if your good..."  I continue to eat my food. I immediately regretted admitting myself.