I'll run away with you. | the maze runner [newt]

1.9

I had the day off, Minho was taking Hank into the maze instead of me. I was allowed to sleep in but I didn't really succeed at it.

All I wanted was to regain my memories. But regaining that one memory had resulted in me tossing and turning in my hammock all night.

I spent the morning sitting outside watching the gladers work and talk with each other.

I felt horrible about the memory. I couldn't believe I used to work for WICKED. I hated myself for it.

"Someone looks tired."

I hadn't realized Newt approaching me, I was completely lost in my thoughts.

"Didn't sleep very well."

"How come?"

I was about to speak up when a scream erupted from behind us. Newt and I jumped up and ran towards the source of the scream.

I could see Ben pushing Thomas on the ground, screaming and groaning. I got there fast and tried pulling Ben away until he saw my face and turned towards me. Instead of attacking Thomas he turned on me. I gasped when he pushed me onto the ground and my head hit something hard.

Ben was growling like an animal, blood was dripping down his chin. He wasn't looking like himself, his eyes were dark and it was like he had dark veins growing under his skin.

I tried to sit up but I could feel some blood dripping down my forehead.

Before I knew it Ben got knocked to the ground by a shovel.

Newt kneeled down next to me, he had a concerned look on his face as he noticed the blood on my forehead. I held onto him as I tried to stand up.

"Julia, are you ok?" Alby asked as he ran into the circle of people that had formed around us.

"I'm fine, don't worry."

Gally and I shared a look, somehow he looked kind of worried when he realized I was bleeding. He held Ben down together with Frypan but Ben was still trying to put up a fight.

"Alright, lift his shirt up!" Alby ordered.

Newt lifted Ben's shirt up and revealed the wound on Ben's chest. The wound was surrounded by purple looking veins, my heart sunk a little looking at Ben.

Ben and I weren't close at all but still, we ran together almost every day and we were considered friends. He was a good guy and I knew he would never attack someone like that willingly.

"He's been stung, in the middle of the day." Gally said but it was more like a question. It was an odd thing for someone to get stung during the day.

Ben was breathing heavily and pleaded for help but Alby ordered the guys to throw him in the pit for the time being, it was safer for everyone. I watched as he got carried away and grabbed Chuck's hand who stood next to me. We looked at him mournfully because being stung meant exile and that was another way of saying dead.

Jeff and Clint, the med-jacks, insisted to take care of my forehead so I let them. After they patched me up I thanked them and left the hut.

I twisted my head around to look if anyone saw me and snuck towards the pit. Seeing Ben's weak body laying on the dirt made me want to cry. If I really did help WICKED than Ben's dead would be on me.

"Ben?" I called and Ben looked up, panic in his eyes mixed with another emotion, anger, no more like hatred. His eyes darkened at the sight of me, they were almost pitch black. He leaped forwards and began shaking the wooden bars.

"I'm sorry, Ben. I never wanted—"

"This is all your fault!" Ben growled. I bit my lip as I felt a tear leaving my eye. I was about to step closer when someone pulled me away with much force. I gasped and nearly fell but Gally held me up, he didn't seem too happy.

"Do you have a death wish?" he shouted angrily.

I didn't look him in the eyes, trying to hide my tears and muttered "He won't hurt me, Gally."

"He's unpredictable, he could kill you in a second."

I flinched hearing Ben growl in a horrifying manner. In fear I grabbed ahold of Gally's arm. Gally saw the tears in my eyes and his eyes softened in an instant.

"It's ok, Julia. He won't hurt you." his voice was gentle and I nodded but I wasn't scared he'd hurt me, I was scared of the fact that I hurt him and all the others.

I let go of Gally's arm and scurried off not wanting him to see my teary eyes for much longer. But I could feel Gally's eyes burn in the back of my head.

...

Ben was getting exiled from the Glade. They were pushing him into the maze once the walls were closing. It was something I couldn't bare to watch from up close so I sat on the watchtower hiding my tears from everyone else.

The walls closed with a loud thud making me want to curse at myself. This was all my fault, I helped WICKED, Ben would die on my account.

"Hey, it's ok, nothing's going to happen to you." Newt whispered and placed his hand on the small of my back. All I could hear were the pleads and cries for help from Ben.

"No, you don't understand— I—" I stuttered and tears were rolling down in a rapid manner. "Hey, talk to me." Newt calmly said, placing his hands on my cheeks and wiping the tears away with his thumbs soothingly.

"I remembered something, Newt." I muttered and Newt let go of my cheeks in shock. "Yesterday night, hearing Thomas yell his own name triggered something, it triggered a memory. It was of me being scared about coming here and losing my memories. Thomas comforted me and told me everything was going to be ok until this woman walked in. She told me I was doing the right thing for helping WICKED, the people who put us in here. I helped them, Newt. This is all my fault." I cried and in full panic mode climbed down the watchtower before Newt could stop me.

I ran and I ran. Everything was my fault. Everyone who died in the maze and in the Glade, they all died on my behalf. I hated myself.