Renesmees Note Book (WATTY AWARDS 2011 VOTE GUYS!!!)

In my memories

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"what do you mean he's gone!" I asked.

"he's gone sweetheart. Jason's left the coven" my mother told me gently.

"what why!" I cried, tears running down my cheeks. "I only saw him a hour ago"

"I know love but Alice saw him leavening" said my farther sitting next to me and mom.

"this is because of me and Jake isn't it!" I cried.

"you don't know that love" soothed my mother, stroking my cheek.

"I do! He ran away because of me!"

My mother rocked me in her arms like I was a small child and kissed my cheek. "w-wear has he gone" I croaked.

"he went up north, towards Canada" said Alice standing up. She looked at me "Ness im so sorry, I should of seen it but I didn't!"

"its not your fault Alice" I hugged her and she kissed my cheek.

Alice gave me a small smile and fluted upstairs with Jasper at her side. "Neisse love, are you coming home?" asked my mother.

"ill be home later momma, I want to go and hunt."

She gave a small nod and kissed my cheek before walking off with my farther.

 I sighed softly and walked around the forest for a while.

I was trying to set my mind straight. I was so confused. I had only been talking to him a hour ago, how could he of left.

Unless....unless that was his plan.

He knew Jake was my whole life and he knew that when Jake had told me he hated me, that it crushed me. I had gained confute in Jason.

 He was the first to know that Jake was wanting to talk to me when we wear at the house. Perhaps that's why he left.

Perhaps he left because he knew that me and Jake would make up and that I would be with Jake all the time and not hang out with him as much.

Maybe he loved me to.

Maybe he left because he didn't want to put himself in pain...or put me in it.

Like I said before. I am a bad person.

I love two men.

One vampire

One werewolf.

I am a stupid girl.

I opened the wooden door to the cottage and walked in. in the end I didn't hunt so I was hungry.

I took out some left over cookies that grandma Esme had made me the other day and sat on the couch eating, looking threw a photo album that my mom had made.

 The first few pictures wear of my mom and dad when they wear dating and when she was human.

The first one was of prom.

Next wear the ones of her and the rest of the family when it was her birthday.

 Every time we talk about what happened at her birthday party, we all laugh.

 Apart from Jasper and my farther.

Then the photos go onto their wedding.

 My mother was pretty as a human but she's more stunning as a vampire.

 An angel as my farther calls her.

 Then it was me. Me as a child with Jake. Their was lots of us two together. One photo caught my eye.

 A photo of me and a man.

A man who looked like a god, with brown hair and nice golden eyes.

Jason.

I let out a sigh and closed the album.

I had to except that Jason is gone and that he wasn't coming back.

But at least I could remember him in my memory.

The good times I had, even if they went that many.

Trudging upstairs, I laid on my bed.

 I was aware of my parents listening.

 I also knew that my farther had herd everything I had been thinking.

 I didn't care.

So what if I was in love with two guys.

It didn't matter anymore.

Jason was gone.

 And their isent anything I can do about it!

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